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thechaoticcherub · 3 months ago

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Eight Ball Corner Pocket

Pairing: Jackson!Joel x Plus Size!Reader

Summary: Reader goes on a really bad date, Joel steps in to help make her forget it.

Warnings: 18+ Please, large age gap, mentions of reader being plus size/fat, otherwise reader is not really described, reader is self conscious, fatphobia(not by Joel at all), internalized fatphobia, Reader is just really trying to learn to love herself, negative self talk, drinking, random boy is a fuckin' meany, eight ball, reader is excellent at pool, semi traumatic past(barely mentioned), oral sex(female receiving), pet names(SO MANY), vaginal sex, rough sex, dom/sub dynamics, pussy pronouns

Notes: My bff edited this for me and I went over it a little but its not perfect. I also worked for SO long on this. I cried a little while writing it because it healed some shit in me. I hope it helps my other plus size/fat readers. Joel would think you are sexy af.

Word Count: 7.7 K

Going to the Tipsy Bison with this guy you had known for years was supposed to be a date. Your friends had made it feel like a big deal that he had finally asked you out. You wore a dress. Futzed with your hair until it was just right and actually got kind of excited. This guy, Daniel, was someone you had known since you were young and new to Jackson, essentially grown up with him and he wasn’t exactly your type, or all that interesting but everyone made it seem like it was bound to happen, like you were destined to date and he finally asked you. So you wore the dress. Did the whole thing with the hair and walked to the Tipsy Bison with him.

Things were fine, albeit a little boring while you had drinks and talked. You felt a little self conscious both of the fact that everyone around you seemed aware that it was a date and that he kept looking at your body. It didn’t even seem appreciative, it seemed like he was appraising you. The way your arm jiggled as you lifted your glass, how round your cheeks were when you smiled, the curve of your tummy he could notice through your dress. You felt like you were meat on display and the buyer wasn’t that interested.

Things got slightly better when you asked if he wanted to play pool and so you two went to the open pool table and set up to play standard 8-ball.

You broke and the balls went scattering, the solid 2 went into a pocket and then to your delight so did the 3. Daniel wasn’t so lucky. You kicked his ass the first game. It took almost no time and it was fun, you found yourself flirting a little more, making sure you leaned over just right as you were lining up a shot so he could catch a glimpse of your cleavage. Or so your ample ass stuck out in a way that you thought would be appealing. Daniel joked about being not so good at pool but you could tell he was getting frustrated by the time you got the 8 ball into one of the center pockets.

Halfway through the second game, you had some onlookers. Some of the older Jackson residents that spent a lot more time at the Tipsy Bison than you watched and cheered you on as you cleaned the floor with your date.

It was when you leaned low over the table, lining up a tricky shot, trying to get your 5 ball into the far corner pocket by glancing it off of the edge of the table when you noticed Joel Miller was watching from his typical spot at the bar.

Joel was notoriously grouchy, typically drinking at the bar with his brother Tommy, and incredibly attractive. Everyone knew he rarely spent any of his freetime with women, and the lucky few he had taken back to his place were always cryptic about it when asked. He was also a good chunk older than you, at least old enough to be your father, and none of the women he had been seen with were more than 10 years his junior. But here he was, sitting next to Tommy, looking right at you. Tommy was watching too, but there was something about Joel that made you almost miss your shot. Almost. The 5 ball skittered for a moment but then bounced off the side right by the pocket and dropped in. You grinned and hopped to a standing position, your hair and breasts both bouncing, your breasts bouncing in the dress you were wearing and giggled.

“Damn!” Tommy commented with a laugh, looking over at Joel, catching him staring at you and punching his flannel clad arm, “She’s good.” There was a smattering of some of the others making similar comments but Joel remained quiet.

You proudly turned to Daniel who let out a long, low whistle,

“Shit,” He said. “If you were more my type I’d be taking you home with me,” Daniel laughed, looking at you standing proudly holding your pool cue. Your heart sank, dropping into your stomach. It was such an odd thing to say on a date that you were momentarily taken aback.

“What do you mean, ‘if I was more your type’?” You questioned, putting a hand on your hip. Daniel looked a little sheepish but then he shrugged and half-heartedly gestured to your body,

“I mean…just…” Daniel shrugged again and something inside you shriveled. All the confidence you had gained from kicking his ass at pool, the way you had looked at yourself in the mirror pleased with how the dress sat against your round belly and accentuated your chubby thighs vanished in an instant and you were suddenly a teenager being picked on for having bigger boobs than the rest of the girls your age. It wasn’t even like you had wanted to go home with Daniel, he was scrawny and more importantly, boring but the way he had so blatantly said it, hurt a small part of you that you thought you had hidden away.

“Ah,” You said, turning away from him. Worse than the fact that he was saying this was that you were sure that there were other people that could hear. Worse than that even was you were so taken aback that you couldn’t come up with a reply, you didn’t tell him to fuck off or get lost.

“I mean, besides your body you’re really pretty!” Daniel said and if you had had it in you, you would have punched him in the fucking face but it was taking everything in you to not start crying. You looked at the pool table in front of you and realized you were about to beat him. You only had the eight ball left and you were pretty well set up to knock it into the corner pocket.

“Yeah.” You said. “Good to know. Eight ball, corner pocket.” You pointed to the corner pocket you meant, the pocket that was opposite of the bar. You walked over to the side of the table closest to the bar and leaned over. You set up your pool cue, anger and embarrassment should have clouded your perception, should have made it more difficult but you needed to prove something to him, you wanted to humiliate him the best way you could. So when you took the shot there was a loud, satisfying crack of cue ball smacking into 8 ball and then the even more satisfying thwunk of the 8 ball falling into the pocket.

You dropped your pool cue onto the table with a clatter and turned your back to Daniel, wanting to just go to the bar and forget him.

“Rematch?” Daniel asked, sounding oblivious to your hurt and irritation. You were about to whip around and tell him off when a low, husky voice spoke up from the bar.

“I think you’ve been embarrassed enough, son.” Joel had stood up from his bar stool and gone over to Daniel. “I wanna play the winner,” Joel insisted as he sidled up to Daniel. Daniel looked almost like he wanted to argue but Joel put his hand on the pool cue he was still clutching and gave it a tug. You looked from Daniel to Joel and then refused to let your eyes move back to the boy you had let speak to you so horribly. You didn’t want to give him another ounce of attention, especially when Joel Miller wanted to play you in pool.

“W-well we’re kinda out together-” Daniel stuttered. Joel eased the pool cue all the way out of his grip and turned to the table, not sparing him another glance,

“Nah, you’re not.” Joel said, reaching into one of the pockets to take out some of the balls. “Wanna play someone who’ll actually give ya a run for your money, sweetheart?” Joel asked you as you watched him move. You pursed your lips, trying to conceal a little smile at the pet name. You tilted your head to the side as if you were considering it, you knew you’d rather get beat at pool by Joel Miller than kick Daniel’s ass any day. Plus, you were on a roll, maybe you could beat him and while Joel was gruff and attractive, and quiet, and really attractive and stern and holy fucking shit hot. He was also safe. Safely unavailable. Older than you.

“Sure,” You said finally with a shrug, reaching out and picking up your pool cue again.

“Atta girl,” He said, nodding and grabbing the triangle to start putting balls in. You passed him the balls and he got it set up properly while you watched and paid exactly zero attention to Daniel who might have been slinking away from the pool table anyway.

“You wanna break?” Joel huffed looking up from where he had set up the triangle.

“I’ll break if you really think you can beat me,” You teased, trying to fake that confidence you had felt earlier. Joel breathed out a little laugh,

“Go ahead and break, darlin and I’ll try to go easy on you.” And then Joel Miller winked at you, your heart skipped, and you felt the need to beat him drive deeper. You lined up your shot and broke with a sharp snap of balls, they skittered all over the table, the 10 ball dropped into a pocket.

“Guess I’m stripes,” You said, taking your next shot and missing the 9 ball by a centimeter. Joel walked over, putting his hand on your waist as he squeezed past you to get to the cue ball. Your cheeks burned and you tugged at the skirt of your dress.

“Maybe it means your luck is out,” Joel leaned over and you tried not to admire the way his jeans tightened over his ass.

“Maybe…but I doubt it,” You said, flouncing around the table to take your next turn as he missed his shot and swore under his breath.

It turned out, Joel was excellent at pool, it was sheer luck that made you able to take a few turns, sinking some balls in the pockets, hoping you at least had a chance at the eight ball.

“I could give you a few pointers, darlin.” Joel said as he sunk his last ball into a side pocket and looked around the table for the eight ball. “If you’re worried about the quality of your game,” He teased, his eyes were alight and there was a smile playing on his lips. You could tell he was competitive, and beating you was stroking his ego. You didn’t mind though, the entire time you had played he had called you pet names and you had playfully trash talked each other. Joel had gotten you a beer and only teased you a little bit when you almost knocked the glass off the edge of the pool table with your pool cue. Now, you were desperately hoping he’d miss this shot so you could sink a couple more balls and then take your own shot at the 8 ball. “8 ball corner pocket,” he pointed to the pocket he meant and glanced at you, smirking.

“Nahh, cause I think you’re about to scratch on the 8 ball.” You told him, holding your pool cue propped up on the ground between your knees.

“You wish, puddin’…you…” he lined up his shot, leaning over, “wish,” he finished as he shot. The 8 ball, followed immediately by the cue ball, sank into the pocket with a thwuthwunk. You burst out laughing and raised your fists in triumph.

“You lose, old man!” You squealed excitedly. Joel was staring at the pocket that had lost him the game, shocked that what you had predicted actually happened. “I win!” You did a little dance, jiggling your hips. Joel’s eyes twinkled as he watched you but he was forcing a frown, making himself look disappointed.

“You win by default not ‘cause you actually beat me, sugar.” He pointed his pool cue at you and you giggled.

“A win is a win!” You said. Your round cheeks were glowing with warmth and you couldn’t believe your luck, both in the game and in the fact that Joel Miller had single handedly saved your evening. Joel was downing the end of his beer and you glanced around the bar for any sign of Daniel, he was gone and you weren’t disappointed but you were a little irritated. “Looks like I drove my date off,”

Joel cast his eyes around the bar too and then shrugged. “You’re better off,” He said, setting his beer glass down on the bar. “C’mon, let me walk ya home.” He grabbed his coat from where he had thrown it over the end of the bar and pulled it on.

“Oh…don’t worry about it, Joel, I’m fine.” You said, looking towards the door, you didn’t want to put him out, he had already been so nice to you. You licked your lower lip and then sucked it into your mouth, “Thanks for playing me though, you kind of rescued me.” You told him. Joel chuckled, “Uh-uh, Puddin’. I ain’t lettin you walk home alone,” he said. He gestured towards the door and you led the way out into the cool evening air. You were just in your dress and cardigan and you shivered as soon as the wind blew across your chest and ruffled the hem of your dress.

“You ain’t got a jacket?” Joel asked, looking down at you. You shrugged,

“It was warmer earlier,” You mumbled. Before you could stop him Joel shrugged out of his jacket and put it over your shoulders. “Joel-I can’t take your coat-”

“Quit arguein’ with me,” His voice was gruff and commanding, “I ain’t going to put up with it much longer,” He was teasing you but you knew better than to try to fend off his kindness. You walked across mainstreet and tried not to feel self conscious about the way his jacket wasn’t as big on you as it might have been on another girl. Ever since Daniel’s comments you hadn’t been able to shake the stupid self conscious internal monologue.

“How’d you learn how to play pool?” Joel asked as you walked.

“My dad spent a lot of time in the Tipsy Bison when I was younger and being there was the best way to spend time with him so��I kinda taught myself pool to keep myself entertained,” You explained. Joel knew your dad had been a drunk. In Jackson, everyone knew everything about everyone else and you didn’t want to get into it anymore than that. In the quiet that followed, Joel’s arm snaked around your waist, his hand pressing into his own jacket against your side. You felt yourself tense up, wondering why he was doing this. Why would he want to hold you close like this?

Your heart had momentarily fluttered when he touched you but then it sunk again. He must have seen you staring at him and then heard the way Daniel spoke to you, and being such a good guy, he wanted to boost your confidence by offering a little physical touch. You took a step away from him and looked up at him,

“You don’t have to do this,” You said. You stopped walking, pushing his hand back as his grip tried to follow you. Joel looked at you, confused, his brow furrowed.

“Do what?” he asked.

“Walk me home to try and make me feel better about my date ditching, give me your coat, touch me just to make me feel like I’m not…not disgusting or something,” You said, shifting your weight from foot to foot uncomfortably. Joel’s face twisted a little and you waited for him to agree to stop, to leave you standing in the middle of the street but he didn’t move away. In fact he reached out and put a steady hand on your waist again, but this time between his jacket and your dress.

“Beg your pardon, sweetheart, but, what the fuck?” He laughed out the words and you felt anger spike through you. You shoved his large hand back, away from you.

“Don’t act like you didn’t hear what Daniel said to me back there! Don’t pretend that you’re touching me because you actually want to. I get it that you feel bad for me that no…no boy would want me.” Your lower lip trembled and you bit it fiercely, not wanting him to notice you were near tears. Joel’s eyes were blazing and his jaw was clenched, he was angry and you were sure it was because you had called him on his bullshit.

“That nasty little boy who you had the misfortune of goin’ on a date with ain’t got nothin’ to do with me wantin’ to touch you,” Joel growled. You turned to face him now. It was your turn to look confused. Something stuck in your throat and you couldn’t reply to him even though you found yourself wanting to argue with him. “If he didn’t wanna take ya home, it’s ‘cause he’s a stupid little boy who aint got any idea what to do.” Your eyes searched his face, looking for a sign of dishonesty.

“But-” You managed to blurt out, your voice trembling as much as your lip was.

“The whole reason I haven’t dragged you back to my place already is because I’m too old and worn out for someone so pretty and full of life.” He looked almost sad as he said it, large hands splayed as he explained. You couldn’t believe it. Joel had to know how wanted he was by an almost endless amount of women in Jackson. What kind of sick joke was this? Was he trying to make you throw yourself at him just so he could reject you? You tried to find the lie in the creases on his face but he was steady and everything about him screamed honesty but none of that lined up with your own idea of yourself.

“But you’re so hot, Joel.” You breathed, “Why would you want me?” You asked, still trying to discover the lie, or uncover his joke. Joel’s eyes darkened again as he looked at you like you were completely insane, “Quit it,” He said, “Don’t you think for a single second that you’re the one reachin’ here, i’m old enough to be your daddy and you’re…look at you.” You could see barely controlled lust in his eyes as they roamed over your body and the way he did it didn’t make you feel like he was appraising you to see if you were worth it. He was appreciating you. Appreciating the way your breasts stretched the fabric of your dress and the way you could see the curve of your belly, the way your thighs pressed together. You stared at him, trying to take in the truth of his statement, trying to remember how pretty you had found yourself that morning before you had been reminded of all the insecurities of your teenage years.

“Aw, fuck it,” Joel breathed. His big hands found your waist on one side and your neck on the other, dragging you into him. He had to lean over a little to press his lips into yours but he did it in one swift motion, holding you to him. The hand at your waist was tucked into his jacket again, squeezing the flesh of your side. His lips were a little chilled from the night air and they tasted so good, like beer and a heady, warm taste. His skin and beard were rough against your lips and cheeks as he kissed you. You started to forget your worry as he held you into him.

“Been wantin’ to do that ever since I watched you kick that idiot’s ass at pool,” Joel mumbled as he broke away from you. Your eyes were glassy as you looked up at him, he was so close you could see all the crinkles around his eyes.

“Do it again then,” You challenged, looking up at him from under your eyelashes. Joel didn’t need telling twice, he caught your bottom lip between his and sucked it into his mouth, nibbling as the hand at your neck moved up to cup your face.

“You shouldn’t come home with me, I’m too old for you, puddin’” he breathed into your mouth, laying another lingering kiss against your lips and breaking away to speak into the skin of your cheek, “But I want you to,” he said. There wasn’t an ounce of you that doubted him now, and his hand on your waist was greedily running over the dips and rolls you usually hated. His other hand had dropped to your hip, holding you steady.

“I want to,” You said to him through a smile.

“You shouldn’t,” he responded, “You should be a good girl and go home,”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” You giggled, leaning your body into him, he supported your weight with his broad chest and as you spoke his hand at your waist caught your flesh tight in his grip while the hand at your hip dipped lower, grabbing the seat of your ass and pulling you flush against him.

“You’re goin’ to regret that, puddin’,” Joel muttered, looking down into your eyes. You smiled at him and watched as the way he looked down at you turned from sweet and almost loving, into something like a predator stalking prey. In a swift motion he pulled back from you and bent slightly, lifting you at the waist and hauling you over his shoulder.

“Joel! You cant-you’re going to hurt yourself,” You nearly shrieked, mortified at how hard it must have been to lift you. Joel let out a grunt and then a snort of laughter,

“Yeah right, darlin.” He said, he didn’t even sound strained and you felt yourself melt a little. That was until he reached up and smacked your ass, hard. “You wanna come home with me? Lets get you home then,” he turned and started the other direction up the street. You dangled over his shoulder, his jacket practically hanging off of your arms and his arm wrapped around your thighs was the only thing that kept your dress from falling above your head.

Joel walked all the way to his house with you over his shoulder, and even managed to get the front door open and you over the threshold before he bent to set you onto your feet. You had barely recovered from hanging over his back when his hands were on you again, pressing you back against the wall of his entryway. He kissed your lips but only briefly before he started to work his lips down your cheek, your chin, your jaw. You could feel the strength of his hands as he tightened them against your hips, keeping you pressed into the wall. His lips and stubble pressed into you. kissing prickly heat into your neck. The heat from his lips burned down your throat and into your stomach, melting you. Joel’s fingers found the sleeves of your dress and started to take them down.

“God, I gotta see all of your pretty body, darlin’” he said into your neck. With a tug the dress pulled down. You had worn your favorite bra, a simple unlined cream colored one. There wasn’t much for sexy lingerie in Jackson but this one was relatively new, clean and had scalloped edges. Joel’s pulled back to let his eyes wander down your chest, “As pretty as this is,” he started, his finger tracing the edge of your bra along the curve of your ample breast. “Its comin’ off,” he finished before reaching around and unhooking it with deft, skilled fingers. He tugged it off of your arms and exposed your jiggling, heavy breasts.

“Fuck, puddin’, look at these.” Joel’s cupped your tits, palms pressing into your hardening nipples. His fingers dug in, dimpling the soft skin of your breasts. You sighed at the feeling of him touching you, his pointer fingers slipped down and stroked around your nipples. The skin puckered even more and you pressed your chest forward, letting out a shy sigh. “That’s a good girl,” he breathed. He replaced his finger on one of your nipples with his mouth, kissing your areola and letting his tongue flutter around the pebbled tip of your nipple. His hands dropped to the hem of your dress and he started to ruck it up your body. You let out a little whine, putting your hand over his to make him pause,

“You…you don’t have to take that off,” You mumbled, as if giving him permission to keep you partially covered. You didn’t think he’d want to see your whole body. You felt like it might ruin his excitement if he saw your round belly and the way it moved and wiggled as you adjusted or breathed heavily.

Joel stared at you like you were completely insane, “Oh babygirl, it’s comin’ off unless you tell me otherwise in three…” He tugged it up farther, the dress sliding up past your thighs to where your sex was covered by your simple underwear. “Two…” He continued to gather it in his fists, revealing the curve of your belly. You couldn’t find words to stop him. You were shy about your naked body but Joel made you feel like he wanted to see you so you let him. “One,” The hem of the dress met the spot where he had tugged the bodice down to reveal your breasts and Joel gathered the whole thing in one loop of fabric around your body and tugged it up and off of your heads o you were bare except for your underwear in front of him. You immediately crossed your arms in front of your belly, instinctively wanting to hide it from him, even though you had let him strip you while you were standing in his entryway.

Joel leaned in towards your, his lips hovering above yours as he looked down at you; one of his hands trailed down your arm and collected first your right wrist and then your left one in his big hand. In a fluid motion you weren’t expecting he lifted your wrists above your head and pressed them into the wall.

“Don’t do that to me, puddin’, don’t hide yourself from me.” He breathed, you felt the warmth of his breath wash over your lips and you craved his mouth on yours again. You were leaning into him, trying to get to his lips but he didn’t indulge you; he pulled back enough so that he could look down your body, his hand still holding both your wrists above your head. You swallowed as his gaze lit on every inch of your body that you were most ashamed of, but instead of making you feel judged or uncomfortable, it only drove your lust deeper. The way Joel looked at you was with such appreciation, and a feral need. Joel growled as he looked you over, pressing your hands harder against the wall, keeping you there as he pressed his clothed body against your naked one. You wanted to get him undressed, you wanted to touch him and look at him the way he was looking at you but there was also something so vulgar and sexy about being naked while he stood in front of you completely clothed, appreciating your nudity.

“Are you goin’ to be good and keep your hands away from your body? I don’t want ya coverin’ up again,” He said, the tip of his nose ran along the side of your nose, his lips just out of reach from yours. You nodded,

“Yes.” your voice was weak and strained with need.

“That’s my good, pretty girl.” Joel’s lips twitched towards a smile while he spoke to you. Your body reacted to the words in a way that surprised you, you shivered, your nipples hardening even more, there was a rushing feeling in your lower tummy, slipping into your cunt. Joel removed his hand from your wrists, your hands dropped but you didn’t try to cover yourself again; instead you reached out and took his waist, pulling him close to you. Your brow furrowed in need as you looked up into his eyes. Joel stroked your cheek with the back of his fingers, “Can you keep being a good girl even if I get ya completely naked, puddin’?” He asked, his brown eyes focused on yours. You swallowed, trying to drown your own anxieties and fears because being naked for him sounded so good. You nodded.

“I wanna hear you say you’ll be good for me,” He chastised, his eyes sparkling, teasing.. Waxy warmth continued to pool in your tummy and drip lower, making you feel like your pussy was melting into your underwear.

“I can be good,” You let the words fall out before you could think twice about them.

“Atta girl,” and with that he eased down onto his knees, letting out a short groan as his knees creaked. You hadn’t been expecting him to be level with your pussy so quickly and you gasped as his fingers hooked into the sides of your panties and ripped them down without any level of ceremony. You resisted the urge to cover yourself, you felt so sure he would be disgusted by your pussy you didn’t want to give him the chance to see it but you reminded yourself that he really, actually thought you were beautiful. He had not been lying. He hadn’t been joking and if Joel Miller thought you were beautiful, it was clearly true. You kept your hands way from him as you felt his gaze move to your pussy,.

“Lord help me, I’m fuckin’ lucky. She’s so fuckin’ pretty.” Joel’s words sounded like a prayer, half under his breath, half through a growl in his chest. You watched as his eyes examined you, his hands running up and down your trembling thighs, trying to sooth you. You felt tense until his eyes moved from your pussy in front of him, up into your eyes. You melted a little when you recognized the intense need behind his eyes.

“Spread your legs, I need to see her more…fuck i need to taste her, darlin’” He informed you. You felt your cunt clench at the words. No one had ever eaten you out before and the thought of it sent shivers down your spine. You worried internally that he would find it disgusting but he was on his knees in front of you, saying he wanted to so you took him at his word and stepped your feet apart more, looking down at him. His eyes fell again to your pussy, and his fingers crawled up your thighs until he was at the apex of your thighs. His hand cupped your whole plush pussy in his hand, his thumb running up and down your slick slit. Joel let out a purr of approval as he felt your wetness.

“There’s my girl,” He whispered, his voice sounded horse and you felt the wetness between your legs seep out against the ministrations of his thumb. “You’re drippin’, honey,” He told you, eyes flicking back up to your face. You let out a whine, embarrassed by how needy you were. You reached up and covered your face with your hand,

“Joel, it’s…it’s embarrassing,” You whined, your words sounded like they were stuck in your throat.

“I know, sugar, but it’s so pretty. Aint nothin’ to be embarrassed about,” He pulled his hand away, as his thumb disconnected with your slit you watched in vague humiliation as a string of your wetness connected his thumb to your pussy lips. When it broke, Joel brought his thumb to his mouth and sucked the bit of your juices off of it.

He let out a low moan in his chest, it bubbled up and seemed to overtake him. He grabbed one of your thighs and lifted it so you had to lean back against the wall to maintain your balance. Joel’s hand fixed under your knee and hooked your leg over his shoulder. You felt your pussy open more for him, your lips parting as Joel’s eyes roamed over you,

“There she is…” he breathed, the fingers of his other hand found your waiting pussy lips and stroked up and down. You squeaked out your pleasure as the pads of his fingers grazed along your wetness and brushed your clit. Before you had recovered from that,Joel leaned forward and licked a stripe up your pussy. You gasped and tensed so much that you stood up on the tiptoes of your foot that was planted on the ground.

“Oh my god! Joel!” You gasped and he tilted his head back to look up at you,

“Aint you ever had someone lick this pretty pussy?” He asked. You mutely shook your head and his eyes softened and then he let out a chuckle, “Oh honey,” he said. “Let’s take her apart, yeah?” You nodded and his mouth moved back to your pussy, lapping at your wetness.

One hand stayed on the underside of the leg wrapped around his shoulder, keeping you open for him and his other hand roamed up your thigh, to your belly. His tongue lavished first along each inner lip, teasing up towards your clit but never touching it, then down towards the source of your wetness. Your cunt clenched each time his tongue neared your entrance. The hand on your tummy pressed in, squeezing the flesh there, dimpling your skin and pressing you back. The acknowledgment of the chubbiness of your belly would have usually made you self conscious but the way his thumb rubbed along your skin and the way he squeezed it so possessively made your pussy gush even more. Your hand fell to the silver curls on his head and you grabbed them, not pulling him in, not pushing him back, just having something to anchor yourself there.

You felt him hum and growl into your pussy, and it sent vibrations skittering through you. Joel’s tongue was an expert at pleasuring you, the second you felt like you needed more, he would lick up to your clit, still barely grazing it. The second you felt like you might be overwhelmed with pleasure, he would back off and plant slow, wet, languid kisses closer to your hole. Nothing had ever felt like this before. Nothing had given you this intense need.

You fisted your fingers into his hair and it only spurred him on, his tongue moved back up to your clit and started to work over it in a tight pattern of circles, sweeping over it, working you up, up, up.

“Come on, puddin’, you gonna come on my face?” he asked into the folds of your soaked pussy. You whined, holding his hair tighter. His fingers squeezed on your belly and your thick thigh, “I know you’re close, babygirl, I can feel it.” He said before putting all his attention on your clit again, this time sucking it into his mouth. You felt like you were about to black out when he added small nibbles to the mix. You saw black around your vision as Joel took you over the edge. Your orgasm overtook you very suddenly, dropping you off the cliff and making you throw your head back, smacking it against the wall. It didn’t matter though, nothing hurt, the pleasure coursing through you made you stand up on your toes again, pressing more of your weight onto Joel’s shoulder. But he held you steady, licking your clit through your orgasm. When he finally let you go, you dropped your leg from around his shoulder, you were about to apologize but it was like he could tell because he shut you up with a kiss, his mouth pressed into yours. You could taste yourself on him, heady and warm.

“I need ya, babygirl,” He said into your mouth. “Gotta feel my girl wrapped around my cock,” He mumbled as his hands cupped your cheeks and held you up against him, his lips centimeters from yours. You nodded.

“Yes, Joel, yes I need your cock,” You breathed into him and you felt his lips twitch into a smile. His hands moved to your arms and he grabbed them, turning you around towards the entryway to his living room. Your tummy jiggled a little at the sudden movement and your breasts swayed. You were now very aware of how naked you were and how fully clothed he was. Still holding your upper arms he leaned down behind you to whisper into your ear,

“Be a good girl and help an old man out, go bend over the arm of the couch. Show off that ass,” He spanked your ass once to get you moving and, trembling, you went through the doorway into the living room. The couch arm was high enough that you could easily bend at the waist over it, using it to support yourself. You arched your back, hoping you were providing a sexy view of yourself but you worried so much about the way your hips widened and how if your ass looked too big sticking out like that.

You heard Joel behind you, the jingled of a belt buckle and then the slide of a zipper. He moved behind you and you could feel the heat of him against you, rough denim against your soft skin.

“I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven, baby, look at you!” Joel huffed out as his hands slid over your ample hips and cupped the thickness of your ass. You felt him pull at your asscheek so it spread slightly, showing off your pussy to him. “You’re so soft and pretty for me,” His hand traveled up your back and then back down to your ass, “And that delicious pussy peaking out for me, sayin’ hello.” His fingers slipped lower and stroked over your still soaking lips, pressing at your entrance, teasing it. You let out a moan.

“You…you really think I look pretty like this?” You asked nervously, you couldn’t help it, you were trying to force yourself to believe it. You looked back over your shoulder nervously, still trying to search for the joke.

Joel moved his hand from your pussy and grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling you back so your head was pulled back and he leaned over your body to speak into your ears

“Yes.” He said. “Do you not believe it? Do you need me to show you how fuckin’ sexy I think you are?” he asked. Joel rutted his hips up against yours, you could feel his hardness against you, the bulge against his boxers, pressing into you. You gasped and nodded. “Alrigh’ darlin’ i’ll show ya,” He let go of your hair with a little push and you instinctively arched your back, showing yourself off to him. Joel’s hands moved to his boxers, tugging his big cock out. It slapped against your ass cheek and you gasped again.

“You feel him, puddin’?” he asked, his hand wrapping around himself and rubbing it along your slit. “Think you can take all of him in that tight little thing?” He asked, he notched the bulbous head of his cock at the entrance of your cunt and you already felt him stretching you a little. Suddenly you weren’t so sure you could but you wanted it, badly. You nodded vigorously and he started to press his cock head into your twitching pussy. You let out a moan and his hands gripped your hips, pulling you back into him. “There’s a good girl, that feel good?” He asked. You couldn’t speak, you felt like you were drunk, he was splitting you open for him, carving out a space for himself in your cunt. You nodded again and his hand came down sharply on your asscheek, “Words, puddin’, lemme hear you ask for more o’him in that…Jesus Christ…tight pussy.” He moaned out through gritted teeth.

“Oh…god, please put more in me, Joel! Fill me up.” You could barely get the words out because you were seeing stars. Joel pressed himself in deeper and deeper until he bottomed out inside of you. You could feel his eyes glued to the place where your bodies connected, watching the way you wrapped so tightly around his cock.

“You’ve got a bit of a filthy mouth,” He laughed. “I wanna hear more of that,” The laugh turned to a growl as he dragged his hips back, the walls of your pussy contracting, trying desperately to keep Joel’s big dick inside of you. Joel rocked himself back into you, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix, hitting a spot inside of you that tingled all throughout your body.

“Fuck!” you moaned, “Joel! Don’t…don’t stop fucking me, please, please, I need your cock in me.” You moaned. Joel gave you exactly what you needed, pumping his cock in and out of you over and over, filling you up, stretching you for him. You could feel another orgasm building and it shocked you, another orgasm so soon and one caused just by his cock inside of you was unheard of for you. Your breathing was ragged as you pressed yourself back into him and he clamped his hands on your hips, guiding you back.

“You want to come again, dont you?” Joel asked.

“Yes! Yes! Please!” You moaned.

“Yeah, I can feel you clenching on me.” His voice was stained, working towards his own release. “First you come on my face and now you wanna come on my dick?” he asked. You nodded again, your heart was hammering and all you wanted was to feel his release inside of you while you came all over his cock but you doubted Joel would be willing to come inside of you, it was too risky. Joel groaned again, his hips thrusting more sloppily into you, you could tell he was close to his own orgasm, he was chasing it desperately. You were so close, your legs were shaking, but then Joel had pulled out of you, his hand pumped over his cock twice and you felt ropes of his hot spend fall against your back and down your ass cheeks. Your pussy clenched on nothing, desperate for more. “Oh good girl, good fuckin’ girl,” He moaned, watching his own come spread across your back and ass.

Joel didn’t forget that you had been practically begging for it, even as he came down from his own release he wrapped his arm around you, reaching between your legs and finding your clit, starting to stroke it with deftness that bordered on expertise.

“I wanna watch you come, puddin’,” His voice seemed to float to youfrom far away. You let out a weak moan and arched your back, his fingers worked tight circles around your clit while the fingers of his other hand replaced his cock in your pussy, two thick fingers working you open.

“You gotta tell me when you’re going to come,” He breathed. Joel watched as his fingers fucked into you and you pressed yourself back. You could feel his come slipping down between your asscheeks and you longed for it inside of you. The fingers at your clit brushed over it again and again, sending you into a dizzying frenzy, incoherent moaning and babbling slipped from your lips. This orgasm came over you in a a steady sort of pulse that worked from you clit as he toyed with it into your cunt as he curled his fingers up, stroking the walls of your pussy.

“I’m…I’m coming!” you gasped out and Joel tugged his fingers out of your pussy. You gasped at the loss but his fingers on your clit still teased you through it, “Fuck, Joel!” You moaned, clenching on nothing, feeling his eyes on your pussy, eating up the look of your empty cunt begging for more.

“Oh christ, darlin’ your pulsing for it.” He breathed and his words spurred your orgasm further, making you gasp and collapse forward against the couch. Joel’s hand slowly eased away from you and rubbed up your spine, catching his breath. You were wrecked and you could feel his come still trickling down your back, your orgasm had been so good but you found yourself still desperate to be full of his cock again already. Probably because he hadn’t even finger fucked you through your orgasm. There was the quiet sound of movement behind you and then footsteps. You didn’t want to get up because of the mess all down your back but before you had time to do anything, Joel came back and used a towel to wipe down your back and your ass. Joel reached down and helped you stand up, his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled your ample body against his, smushing you against him.

“Let’s get you to the bed before you start begging for my cock again,” He smirked and you giggled and hid your face in his shoulder,

“I can’t believe you actually-“

“Nuh-uh…none of that. Get your sweet ass to bed,” He said into your ear, his hands gliding over your curvy hips and down to your ass. “I stared at your ass the whole time you played eight ball with that idiot,” He said. “And I finally got to feel it.” You pulled back to look up at him, eyes shining. He squeezed your plump ass, “I do think you owe me a rematch in pool though,” Joel said with a smirk.

“Okay but only if you also let me come on your cock next time,” You said even though your face heated up and you had to look away in embarrassment. Joel took your chin and forced you to look back at him,

“If you beat me, you can come on my cock. If you don’t…well, we’ll see.” His eyes sparkled and your heart squeezed.

“Deal.”

#joel miller #writing #joel miller x reader #fanfics #joel miller fanfic #joel miller smut #joel miller imagine #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #eight ball corner pocket #plus size reader #joel miller x plus size reader

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ponderingmoonlight · 8 months ago

Note

You're in ur Sanemi/Kny brainrot era n I'm loving it. But may I entice you with JJK?? Gojo getting unsealed just to find out his wife was blinded by the higher ups who held a grudge against him

The world has been dark for a while now, a never-ending night with no dawn. You lost track of time a long time ago, of days blending into weeks, maybe even months. Ever since the love of your life was taken away from you, nothing was the same as before.

Chaos broke out, a wave of sadness, devastation but also anger crushing down on you. As his beloved wife, many cherished you. But people like the elders…

It was a well-found opportunity for them. Now that Satoru was gone without return, they were free to let their anger out on someone.

And that someone was you.

Since they took your sight in exchange for ‘the horrible things your husband has done to humanity’, the world has been a blur of sounds, scents, and the haunting memories of the last time you saw him.

Satoru.

You sit in silence, your fingers tracing the familiar patterns of the fabric draped over your lap. It's one of his, Gojo's favorite haoris he only wore to special occasions or when he tried to seduce you into bed. You hold onto it like a lifeline, the last tangible piece of him you have left. You don’t know what’s worse: the darkness that swallowed your sight or the hollow emptiness that came with his absence. The higher-ups... they told you he was gone for good, that he was never coming back.

But you never believed them. You couldn't.

The door creaks open, and you stiffen. You've grown accustomed to the way people move around you, the way they think you won’t notice their presence. But this... this is different. You feel it - a surge of cursed energy, powerful and unmistakable. It’s overwhelming, drowning out everything else in its presence. Who is this? A sorcerer you didn’t meet before?

“(y/n).”

His voice is the first thing that breaks through the fog and pondering, that familiar lilt that used to make your heart race. You don’t dare to breathe, afraid that this is just another cruel trick your mind is playing on you. But then you hear it again, closer this time, filled with a mix of relief and something darker, something simmering just beneath the surface.

“(y/n).”

Your name. Unmistakably out of his mouth.

“Satoru?”

Your voice trembles, barely a whisper. The air feels heavier, charged with his cursed energy as it presses against your skin.

You feel his hand before anything else, warm and solid as it cups your cheek. He’s here. He’s real. But the second your fingers touch his, you notice the way they twitch, the subtle tremor running through them.

“What did they do to you?”

His voice cracks, and it shatters something inside you. Of course, Satoru doesn’t know what the elders did to you. He didn’t learn about the fact that they blinded you on his behalf.

You try to smile, but it falters.

“They... they wanted to punish you, Satoru. They knew taking you from me wasn't enough. Just in chase you decide to come back…”

Silence stretches between you, heavy and suffocating. His thumb brushes over your cheek, and you can feel his hesitation, the way his breath hitches as if he’s trying to hold back the storm raging inside him.

“They took my sight,” you finally say, your voice barely above a whisper.

“They wanted me to suffer in the dark... to make sure I never see the light again, that I will never be able to see you again, even if you manage to return.”

A sharp intake of breath is his only response at first. Then, he pulls you into his arms, holding you so tightly you can feel the frantic beat of his heart against your own. The world outside is chaos, but here in his embrace, it’s just the two of you. And for a moment, you let yourself believe that everything will be okay, that his return will make everything right.

But the darkness is still there, an endless void behind your eyes, a constant reminder of what you’ve lost. And you know, deep down, you'll never be the same again. Your whole marriage will never be the same again.

What if something like this happens again? What if your husband eventually doesn’t manage to escape? Those past months, you never lost hope, always waited right here on the couch for his return. But those cruel moments of waiting, of losing that spark of hope in your heart taught you more than urgently that even Satoru Gojo can’t escape everything.

“I’ll make them pay for this,” Satoru murmurs, his voice low and dangerous, promising retribution.

“I swear on everything, (y/n). I’ll make them regret the day they ever thought they could hurt you.”

You nod, pressing your face into his chest, breathing in his scent as if trying to commit it to your memory.

“I know you will. But, Satoru... I’m just glad you’re back.”

He pulls back slightly, his hand still cradling your face as if you’re something fragile, something precious.

“I’m never leaving you again. Not now, not ever.”

You want to believe him, want to trust that things will somehow return to the way they were. But even as he holds you close, you can’t help but feel the weight of everything you’ve lost.

And as you lean into his arms, the darkness remains, an inescapable part of you now. But with Satoru here, maybe, just maybe, you can find a way to live in it. Together.

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ceesimz · 10 months ago

Text

Reverie - Part 1

Autistic Reader x Barça Femení - Part 2

Hey, I have some things to say before you start reading. ASD is a very vast spectrum, no two people with it experience the same stuff on a day-to-day basis. This story is written with my knowledge from people I know, and also from my own experiences living with autism too. So don't take this as 'the' perspective, this is a drop in the ocean and this most definitely isn't a handbook on autism. If anyone has any questions or thoughts about this, or ASD in general, you are more than welcome to message me or drop something in my inbox! This is just part one, if you like this first half of the story (because I have no idea how this will go down), let me know if you wanna see the second part, it's ready to go whenever.

Big big thanks to @copper-16 for editing it and leaving such lovely comments on it, I wouldn't have the confidence to post this if it wasn't for your words. Thank you for taking a chance on this story and opening yourself up to learn more, the world needs more people like you and we're all much better off that you're here🫶🏼🫶🏼

This is my favourite thing I've ever written, and I kinda feel like I'm giving away a piece of my heart by posting this (dramatic much), let me know what you think, hope you like it :)

“Are you ready to go in?”

Are you?

Are you ready to walk into a new setting, head held high, and show your teammates you are worth it?

Or are you going to back out? Reverse right out the parking space, speed off to the airport, and catch a flight to god knows where?

That's simply not a possibility. Even if the thought of walking through those reception doors that stare tauntingly at you from across the car park perturbs you more than anything else, there's no backing out now.

Barcelona, the pride of Catalunya, the dominants of Europe, doesn't accept quitters. And that fact glares at you, along with all of its history and values held in the iconic badge that countless legends had adorned, and with it came a legacy you weren’t sure you had the strength to bare on your back. The new number nine, born and raised in Norway but made into the player you are now in Germany.

Here you were, after five years playing for Frankfurt, where you had grown accustomed to a comfortable routine with familiar faces and the same surroundings for so long, now in a new country that held so many unknowns. For someone with so many disadvantages ever present in their life, living in three different countries is a pretty impressive achievement.

Please, let it all be worth it.

After a few frustrating years in the Frauen-Bundesliga, you had signed for the best team in Europe and, arguably, the rest of the world too. Frankfurt had been a beautiful experience, one that had changed your life, but as a result of many, many long discussions with family and friends and psychologists, you had come to the terrifying realisation that it was time for a new challenge.

Why was that absolutely petrifying? Because you and life changes did not get along. Even after 26 years of living, it just wasn’t meant to be. But, such is life, and chances had to be taken.

You'd always be thankful for Frankfurt. Moving to play there was the first time you took such a huge leap of faith, and it had worked out well, eventually. In your eyes, the first season there was a disaster, but your mother would say it was the proudest year of her life. It had been difficult for her to see at times just how much you struggled at points, sure, but you made it to the light at the end of the tunnel and, by the end of it, you were a completely different person in the most incredible way possible. From then on, you continued to grow.

Yet, that was the thing with the German side. When you joined, they were a club with a legacy most teams would envy, but they never amounted to anything more during your time there. You fell in love with the staff, your teammates, and just about everything else during your time there. The only problem, which was pretty damn big in the grand scheme of things, was that you fell out of love with the football you were playing.

You were able to grow and survive at Frankfurt. You wanted to flourish and thrive at Barcelona.

Except, in comparison to the average human, there were a lot more obstacles ahead that could prevent you from accomplishing that aspiration. Over your life, you had overcome many bumps in the road, some leaving a harsh imprint on your self-worth and others hardly affecting you. For example, talking to the girl you were roomed with at 16 at the Norway Football Team camp had turned out to be one of the best things you could have done. Yet, in the same breath, playing for the national team had left you in a broken state, and as a result, you haven't played for them in a few years.

The back and forth travel was too much, and opting out of playing for Norway, as much as it broke your heart that you weren’t strong enough to represent your country on the international stage, it allowed you to rest and recuperate so that you were at the top of your game for your club. Did you dream of wearing your country’s crest one day? Yes, all footballers did. But you weren’t in a place to do that, and you’re not sure you ever will be again.

Signing for Barcelona could be life-changing, but it could also be world-shattering in the worst way imaginable. This was a pretty sizable leap of faith, and the only way that faith could form into something incredible is if you made that happen. You, no one else. That thought filled you with both determination and crushing anxiety. This just could not be another failed attempt. There was no way you could come back.

Ultimately, it would have been downright psychopathic to turn down such an amazing offer from Barcelona. Two years playing for a club that's won three of the last four Champion's League finals? A team that had just completed the quadruple for the first time in their history? Yeah, nonsensical.

However, like always, there were a number of doubts that spiralled from those incredible stats. Did they need you? If they had a mostly flawless season, did they really need a 26 year old woman whose mind hardly functioned like every other person? Did they really need someone who couldn't even play for the national team anymore because they were too overwhelmed with their life? Did they need someone who needed their hand held through every life event, big or small? Did they-

“Hey, you ready?”

That voice had some kind of magic to it. It was like clock-work, this always happened when she was around; that voice in your head consuming you with unwanted thoughts was erased as soon as you tore your eyes away from the doors and looked at the woman beside you.

Ingrid. The one person that had single-handedly convinced you to come here. To Barcelona, playing in a hot country, with people you don’t know, speaking a language you can’t understand- oh my God, what have you done?!

“I… god, I don’t know.” You breathed out in a whisper, hardly intelligible.

The world around you honed in on this one moment here, the peak of your career so far. Apart from Ingrid and the doors to the building and what was in store behind them, there was nothing else that could grasp your attention. There could be a blazing fire behind your car, a lion running full speed towards your car door, or a thief in the back seat for all you knew. Nothing else mattered. The two sides of your mind, the devil and angel on your shoulders were battling it out again, as they always were, whilst your hands fidgeted anxiously in your lap.

“You have to go in at some point, snuppa. You can’t stay in the car forever.” Ingrid softly reminded you, moving to take hold of your hand to comfort your stimming. “It will be a really good day, I promise. My years here so far have been the best of my life, everyone is so nice and welcoming. I never thought I could enjoy training as much as I do now. You will be fine, I have no doubts.”

“I’m not sure about that one.” You laughed nervously, eyes back on the building before you, now slightly glazed over and blurred.

“I am certain about everything I just said.” Ingrid stated definitively, squeezing your hand. “Plus, not everyone in there are complete strangers. You have me, Mapi, you know Caro and you’ve met Jonatan and some other staff members. You know Loren, the team psychologist who you can go see any time you want. We’ll get you past this part of today, and then you have the whole afternoon to do whatever you’d like.”

You nodded at her words, desperately trying to remind yourself of them over and over so that they stick, and you can get through those damn doors.

“You know how much easier my life would be if I knew how everything was going to play out?” You blurted out a moment later, Ingrid smiling in amusement. “It would be a breeze, Ingrid.”

“It would also make your life very boring, min skatt.”

“For you, it would be. For me, I'd live freely.”

Ingrid just laughed and shook her head, squeezing your hand once more before looking at the time on her watch.

“Come on. We have to do this one way or another, and I'm not letting you go in on your own. You want to make me late to training?” She teased, targeting your weak spot. Evil.

“That's cruel, Ingrid. So cruel.” You rolled your eyes but nevertheless stepped out of the car once you'd turned it off.

You didn't make it far though. Once you had gotten your kit bag from the boot of the car, you closed it and froze. Eyes unmoving from the daunting building in front of you.

“Would you like some company after training? We can stay at home, or go out for food, or do anything you'd like.” Ingrid offered, snapping you out of your anxious trance.

Even after… god, ten years now, you were still sometimes left dumb-founded by how well Ingrid knew you. A lot of the time, you yourself are in the dark about what you need, but your fellow Norwegian just gets it, even when you don't. It's pretty safe to say that your life, your whole career, would look a hell of a lot different if you had never met Ingrid.

If you put her characteristics into a different section when it comes to your favourite things about her, the thing you love most about the defender beside you is how she treats you. Sure, the majority of people treated you with respect and kindness, but the defender's love and care was on a whole other level. Like in this scenario now, when she knows you're too overwhelmed by the situation that confronts you to be able to think clearly. But here she is, giving you clear and thought-out options that off-kilt the tunnel vision you have on this one miniscule event, and now gives you something to look forward to.

It reminds you that the world won't end if this training session doesn't go how you want it to, that life goes on afterwards. It makes the road clearer, the journey easier, and allows solace to be found in a down-right terrifying moment.

The funny thing is, however, is that your new home is actually Ingrid's home. No, you weren't living with her, but you were indeed staying in her apartment. She basically lived at Mapi's apartment anyway, so the second she caught wind of your transfer, she immediately offered her disregarded apartment up to you. It was a huge item checked off the ‘things that need doing after uprooting your entire settled, content, perfectly routine life’ to-do list, but you couldn't quite relish in the relief yet.

That's because, though it went unsaid, another factor of Ingrid's offer of letting you stay was so that, if all went wrong and you couldn't make a life for yourself in Barcelona, there was no tenancy to rip up and ultimately it would be a lot less hassle than if you had rented an entirely new place. Ingrid's excuse of not changing your name on the tenancy for now was so that you could settle in with as little stress as possible, but you knew the underlying meaning. Basically, it was a giant get out of jail free card.

“I think I would like that a lot, actually. Thanks.” You said to the taller girl next to you, whose arm had come to wrap around your shoulders.

“Perfect! María has some things to do but I'm free all afternoon, so we can figure something out. For now though, we have to train.”

Taking in a deep breath, you nodded once more.

“That's all it is. Just training.” You told yourself, physically shaking the anxiety off of your chest and marching forwards. You got as far as those damn doors before you froze on the spot again. “Fuck, this is so scary.”

“I know it is.” Ingrid sympathised, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “We've got this though. It's just training, right?”

“It's just training. And a few introductions. And about a million new people.” You sighed. “Will you stick with me the whole time?”

“Like glue, søster.” Ingrid said firmly, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Let's go.”

And just like that, you did walk into the building with your head held high, disregarding the burdening nerves and replacing them with a deep-rooted determination to prove you are worth it. Maybe your teammates would think otherwise if they knew the secret you were keeping from them, but for now, you would put up a front and act just like them. Your best bet at succeeding here is to fit in, and that's what you'll do.

Ingrid wasn't impressed with this tactic of yours, not in the slightest. Jonatan and other senior staff members knew about you, Loren the psychologist knew about you, and Mapi knew. Besides that, everyone else was in the dark. There was only so long Ingrid could last before she had to tell someone at least, like Alexia or Irene or Marta, because she wanted the best for you and the best couldn't be given if your needs weren't catered for.

Like now, as she watched your whole face change in a split second as the mask came down so fast that, had she blinked a second later, she would have missed it entirely. The tension to the way you held your shoulders was all the evidence she needed that your whole nervous system was wracked with dread, and though she should expect it by now, it didn't stop the jab of sympathy she felt for you.

Of course she knew how difficult this would be for you, she just had really high hopes. Sometimes, even after all these years, it slipped her mind how much you still struggled with things. You'd gotten a lot better at dealing with various different circumstances and that mere fact could bring tears to her eyes if she thought about how far you had come, but moments like these were a snap back to the reality you still lived.

You lived so beautifully, you were so strong now, that your struggles were hardly visible anymore. Yet, when one knows a person for so long, they come to learn the signs. Ingrid knew you like the back of her hand. It still amazed her how quick you put the mask back up, normally being so care-free and light around her. But here, outside of the room everyone was due to meet in for the morning, a feigned smile on your face and a falsity to your posture signified all that Ingrid needed to know.

Even despite your dawdling in the car park, you and Ingrid were some of the first to arrive at the meeting, only a handful of unfamiliar faces scattered around the room. Jonatan looked up at the door upon your arrival and his face lit up, immediately dropping what he was doing to come and greet you with a beaming smile. He offers a gentle handshake, also being sure to speak in clear English so that your mind wasn’t overloaded more than it already was. All of it was reassuring, especially as he kept you off to the side as the room slowly began to fill up, before guiding you to the last chair on the front row beside Ingrid so that the meeting could start. Thankfully, to your relief, he gave you a short introduction to the rest of the squad, you only briefly turning and giving the room a general wave before allowing Jonatan to move onto more pressing matters.

From then on, you were rushed off your feet with introductions and training, all of which weren’t half as bad as you’d expected. During the short walk from the meeting to the changing room, a few others came along to properly greet you, all whilst Ingrid stayed close to your side. Mapi had also come bounding along after you the second you left the first room, Ingrid wincing at the excitement her girlfriend met you with but instantly that worry was erased as soon as you turned to Mapi with a matching overjoyed smile.

By the time you actually got onto the pitch, you had spoken to almost all of the team already. And like Ingrid said, they were just as amazing as you had hoped they would be. Every single one, in their own ways, welcomed you to the team and made small talk with you for a few moments before letting whoever next came by to have their own chance at greeting you. But, it wasn’t until you were about to join in with the warm-up that the person you’d been most nervous about meeting came along.

Your new captain, Alexia. The powerhouse of the Barcelona team, the one you had to leave the best impression on.

A few days prior, amidst a conversation in the corner of Ingrid’s favourite cafe, you had sheepishly demanded that she give you a run-down of each and every single member of the team. There had been Ona, who Ingrid described as a lightning fast defender whose jestful clapbacks were even quicker than her sprint bursts on the pitch. Then Cata, the new number one goalkeeper whose cheek was sometimes too much for even the younger members of the team. Jana, a surefire future talent who was often found beside her quieter, more reserved but equally talented counterpart, Bruna. Patri and Pina were much the same, as were Vicky and Salma. Ingrid gave you a short but detailed profile of all of them, leaving the most important for last. Alexia, who initially came across as slightly cold due to the stoic, focused expression she usually wore. But, to her teammates and those closest to her, she was a world class leader, an even better player, and most importantly, a defiantly caring person with a personality that had more sides than a kaleidoscope.

Upon hearing the exit door slamming shut, you turned your attention to the direction of the sound, only to be met with her. Casually strolling over, squinting in the face of the sun, she came over to you with a… a smile on her face?

“Hola! You must be the novota, nice to meet you.” She beamed, inviting you into a quick, polite hug before standing back. “Happy to be here?”

As always with new people, especially someone like the woman before you, you floundered internally for a moment, so many replies flitting around your mind with so little time to react.

“Y-yeah! Really happy to be here, thank you, Alexia.” You landed on, and judging by her reaction, it was the right thing to say.

“Good, I am glad to hear that. Sorry I was not here for the meeting, you’ve met everybody already, sí?”

“Yes, Jonatan introduced me in the briefing.”

“Good. Bueno, let’s get started. I am excited to be working with you.” The Spaniard smiled brightly once more, before gesturing loosely for the pair of you to join the rest of the group.

The rest of the day, as they say, is history.

It honestly went by in a blur, and if Ingrid was at all surprised by the way you literally fell into your bed when you arrived home, not surfacing from the newfound safe haven until about an hour later, she didn’t show it. This was Ingrid after all, and every quirk of yours, new or old, still brought a smile to her face. Ten years later and she couldn’t help but love you more each time she saw you.

—

The first week goes a lot smoother than you could have dreamed of to be honest - it’s only the start of preseason after all. But, there is still plenty of time for cracks to show. It only takes two days for all your progress to tear at the seams.

On the first day of your second week, you’re walking into training on your own for the first time since you joined. Shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Wrong! Big fucking deal actually, because now it’s like walking blind, heading straight for what feels like danger. Unguided, no one by your side, only joined by the weight of an elephant seated right on your heart.

With the help of Ingrid of course, who else, you had established somewhat of a routine that made the transition so much easier. But it wasn’t quite clear until now, just how much easier it had made showing up to training everyday. Because, without your Norwegian counterpart who would be absent from training, you were left to show up all alone, and suddenly everything became ten times harder.

Ingrid was more than just your friend, she was the one constant in this new life you lived that was always present. Anything you needed, one glance from you in her direction and she’d be with you in an instant. She, as stupid as it may seem, was the foundation of your routine, and now that she wasn’t here, all the hard work you’d made to settle in seemed to crumble under your feet.

Three weeks of living in Barcelona, one week of training successfully completed, just for you to end up back at square one. And that meant you were trapped in your own body, limbs acting entirely on autopilot as your legs carried you over to those stupid doors that once again stood intimidatingly in front of you. Just like last week, except this time there was no one to coax you out of your shell, no one to mindlessly guide you over to one of the tables in the canteen, no one to walk you out onto the training pitch. You were all alone.

An unfortunate tactic hadn’t left your habits after all these years: avoidance. What better way to deal with something, then to not deal with it all, right? Right?

Obviously, you couldn’t miss the whole day, you still had commitments and expectations you needed to live up to. If there was one thing that you couldn’t handle (apart from almost everything in this neurotypical world) it was letting people down, disappointing them.

So, if you opted out of breakfast for the day and beelined straight for the changing rooms instead, what business was it to anyone else? You were here, that’s all they could ask for. The plan was to get dressed into your training kit as fast as physically possible, before heading out onto the pitch for some time alone before everyone else came along.

…Except, just as you were lacing up your boots, hand trembling at an embarrassing intensity as you did so, the door opened prematurely. And, really, out of everyone, did it have to be her?

“Oh. I did not expect anyone to be in here. Bon dia.” Alexia smiled at you, heading to her cubby just a few seats away from yours.

“Bon dia.” You muttered sheepishly, keeping your head down and tying your laces at a wildly uncontrolled speed. If Alexia noticed, she didn’t mention it. Thank god.

“I was just going to get some extra practice in, if you wanted to join me.” She offered, swapping her trainers for her boots since she was already in her training gear.

Great minds think alike..?

“Yeah, I was going to do the same thing. Thanks.”

“Ay, it's nothing. It's great that you're so hard working, you’re already fitting right in.” Sorry, could you say that again, or write it down even? “Ready?”

“What? Oh- sorry, yes, I’m ready.” You gave her a tight-lipped smile before slipping past where she stood in the doorway and heading towards the pitch.

“How are you feeling about your time here so far?” The captain asked kindly, the beating sound of boots clicking against the floor echoing far too long in your ears.

“Um, good. It’s an honour playing for this team, so.” You shrugged, offering an almost robotic, rehearsed answer.

“And what about how you actually feel? Not what you’re supposed to feel?” Alexia inquired lightly, an earnest and sympathetic look across her face. Slightly suspicious.

“Well… still good. It’s just different, isn’t it. Yeah.” You mumbled, cheeks flushing bright red as you crossed your arms tightly over your chest.

“Of course it is different. You were in Germany for five years, right?” You nodded affirmatively. “So it is a big, big change. I haven’t been anywhere else but here for twelve years, I cannot imagine adjusting to anywhere else.”

Oh, Ingrid. Seriously?

“I’m here though, I have to leave Germany behind.” You stated in a flat voice, honestly quite done with this topic but it’d be rude to voice so.

“If that is how you want to think, then do it like that. You have transitioned very well, we are all impressed.” Alexia shrugged with a soft smile, punching in the code for the storage cupboard and opening it soon after. “Grab the footballs, I will get some tiny goals. The others can get the rest when they’re done filling their faces.”

Thank god for that.

Alexia ended that conversation there, directing her focus on training from that moment on, much to your relief. All that you learnt from this day was that you needed to have a conversation with Ingrid. Your sixth sense was strong, even if to others it seemed like Alexia was just being an averagely kind person, you just knew.

The good thing was, you couldn’t quite call that day a disaster. In the end, you got through it, even squeezing in a few jokes and laughs here and there throughout the day.

It’s the next day that the first incident occurred. It happened like this; Ingrid isn’t in again, you learn she’s got some kind of stomach virus, so you turn up once more on your own. This time, it wasn’t quite so scary, but like yesterday you skipped breakfast again. And just like yesterday, Alexia met you in the changing rooms to do some early practice again. Except, there was one fatal flaw to your routine this day. It came back and bit you in the ass pretty harshly.

“Ale, what are you doing after this?” Mapi wondered from your right as she stood up after Jona had ended training for the day.

“Eh, nothing.” She shrugged, going to ask you the same thing as she reached her hands out to help you up.

For all you knew, the Spanish pair you were sandwiched between could be speaking absolute gibberish, nothing was registering. As soon as you stood up, everything went hazy. And then… your vision had gone, your body felt unbelievably heavy, and had it not been for Alexia’s tight grip, you’d have fallen back there and then.

“Hey!” Alexia called out in concern, feeling you go limp in her hold. “Mapi, she’s fainting!”

“What!?” Mapi cried, immediately falling to her knees as Alexia safely guided you to the floor.

“I don’t know, she just collapsed!”

Her voice dripped with worry as Mapi frantically looked around, only to find most people had headed inside already. Meanwhile, you were still awake, not totally out cold, but your eyes ached unbearably and you’d lost all control of your movements. Alexia’s hands flitted over your body, looking for any obvious problems but she couldn’t find any. She repeated your name over and over, only receiving somewhat of a whimper in reply.

“Mapi, go find someone, now!” Alexia demanded, the defender instantly rising to her feet and heading for the door. The captain turned back to you, her hands gently coming up to cradle your face where you lay on your side. “Hey, I need you to listen! Can you hear me?”

“Mhm.” You whined, providing the woman before you with an ounce of relief.

“What’s wrong? You need to tell me so we can help you, cariño, you just fainted on us.” She said frantically, her wide eyes boring into yours when you opened them.

Identifying the problem, even in your state, was quite simple. It was a common problem, something you were well versed with, though you rarely ever let it get this bad.

“Forgot to eat.” You mustered up your remaining strength, which really was very little, to answer her and quell her worries.

Thinking back to this moment in probably an hour’s time, you’d laugh at Alexia’s face when you said those three words, because she looked utterly perplexed.

“You forgot to eat?” Alexia repeated with a frown, but she couldn’t dwell on it much longer because Mapi came running over with the medical team hot on her tails.

“Is she awake?” The brunette woman asked desperately, opting out of kneeling back beside you so as to not overcrowd you.

“Yes, and she said she forgot to eat today?” Alexia looked up at her friend, refusing to shift out of the way and instead choosing to stick by your side.

“Oh, that would explain it.” Mapi sighed in relief, only puzzling Alexia more. Was this… normal for you?

The medics fussed over you, asking you questions and ultimately overwhelming you way too much, something Mapi notices quickly.

“Oye, basta, slow down. Her blood sugar is low, she needs something quickly. Get her an energy gel.” Mapi commanded them, now joining you by your head and smiling her bright smile down at you, combing back some of your hair. “Hola preciosa, we'll get you back feeling better soon.” Just as she said that, a member of the medical staff pulled out one of the energy gels the team used for games. “Can you have this for me? It will make you feel better, I promise.”

With a nod, the people around you helped you to sit up as Mapi tore open the gel packet, with Alexia still almost frozen in confusion. The defender noticed, grinning in amusement and quickly flicking her ear to bring her back down to earth.

“Ah! What's that for?” Alexia winced, watching on as Mapi shook her head and handed you the gel pack.

Your hand trembled as you raised it to your mouth, hardly possessing the strength to squeeze it enough to get anything out of it, but just as Mapi went to help you, Alexia got there first.

“It’s okay, here.” She does it for you, one hand on the packet and the other on your elbow that shakes under her hold. She seemed to be grounded now, knowing that it isn't the right moment to be wrapped up in her own thoughts when you're here in front of her, needing security and comfort whilst it takes a couple minutes to come back to yourself. “Easy with it. You'll feel better soon.”

And you did, literally no less than two minutes after having the energy gel, your nausea and dizziness and whatnot near enough disappeared. Though, your physical symptoms gave way for a barrage of anxiety, because this situation would consequently lead to an unwanted and challenging (but most likely necessary) conversation with Jonatan and the rest of the staff. They had also seen you, on the floor, near enough passed out, as a result of your own actions. You could only imagine the things they were thinking right now, and that unknown was scarier than the actual situation that had occurred beforehand.

“Feeling good now. Thanks everyone.” You said shyly, rising to your feet and avoiding everyone's gaze.

“You sure?” Alexia checked, giving you a look that tells you that you shouldn't even try to bullshit her.

“Well, a little bit… woozy, I guess. But much better than before, I swear.” You nodded, hating the feeling of everyone’s eyes on you.

“Let’s go inside, I’ll ask the catering staff to make up some food for you, if you want?” Mapi offered as her hand hovers against your back, not touching but guiding you back inside the main building.

“Okay.” You shrugged.

Meanwhile Alexia trailed behind, trying to figure out how, as captain, she could help this situation. It’s in her best interest to care for her team, and given what she had learnt, it was now clear that there was a lot more she could do than sit back and watch. She didn’t want to come across as overbearing, something Ingrid had warned her about, but she realised it was time to step in.

“Why don’t we go to one of the office rooms rather than the canteen?” She suggested just as Mapi went to open the door heading into said room. The defender should have thought of that sooner, but she’s glad her friend mentioned it, realising it’s most definitely the better option right now for you.

You were taken to an empty office, followed into the room by Alexia and Mapi and some of the physios, and if they weren’t overcrowding you outside, they definitely were now. In all honesty, as much as you were grateful for their care, you wanted to burrow under your duvet in bed at home and not surface for probably about a week. You wanted to grab a tray of cookies, eat them whilst seated on the edge of your bed so you didn’t get crumbs everywhere, and crawl under the sheets safe in the darkness of the four walls you had struggled to leave the past two days.

But no, you were here, stuck in a reality that in no way felt real at all. What were you doing here? Sat at a round table, surrounded by medical staff chatting between themselves, not really bothered about your blip anymore, whilst two of Spain’s greatest players stand off to the side, both pairs of eyes trained solely on you.

You, a no-name off the back of an unsuccessful run in Germany that had just collapsed after training. Them, Champion’s League winners and well-established in the sport for years already, and decades to come.

“Preciosa?” Mapi appeared beside you suddenly, speaking softly as her hand fell on your shoulder. “Is it okay if I leave now? Ingrid is still sick at home, I promised I would get back to her as fast as I could. If you need me to stay, I can. They won’t keep you here for much longer, they’re just making sure you eat before you get back home.”

She should be with Ingrid, her girlfriend who is much worse off at home. Not with you, who simply made a foolish mistake and was now wasting everyone’s time.

“Go home.” You told her as your own hands squeezed anxiously at your upper arms where they sat crossed on the table.

“Okay.” Mapi smiled pitifully down at you, giving you a light forehead kiss before backing off. She pulled Alexia to the side, giving her a warning glare. “Look after her, for me and for Ingrid. Protect her, too. Don’t let them overwhelm her, she just wants to get home.”

“Sí. Of course.” Alexia replied firmly, a solid look in her eyes that Mapi knew to trust immediately.

The defender slipped out of the room with no further fuss, leaving you alone with Alexia and the medical staff. Not for long, though.

“Guys, could you give us a moment? And can someone go collect her food from the canteen, please.”

They nodded and stepped out of the room, Alexia closing the door softly behind them. She turned back to you, watching as you kept your head down and focused on the shapes you traced on the wood of the table. Your shoulders were visibly tense, so uptight they’re basically touching your ears, and she noticed just how intensely your leg was bouncing up and down.

“Do you need anyth-”

“Did Ingrid tell you?” You asked bluntly, gulping back the lump in your throat that really had no place making itself known at this moment - now was not the time for a meltdown. Save it for later, in the safety of your flat.

Alexia blew out a breath, coming over to perch on the edge of the desk a few seats away from you.

“If you’re talking about what I think you are, then… yes. She did tell me.” She answered cautiously, trying to gauge your reaction but you didn’t give her much, just a single nod. “She did it with the best intentions though. It wasn’t to… purposely go behind your back. She just wants the best for you, and the more people that know, the more support you can have here.”

“I guess.” You murmured under your breath, clearing your throat after and moving to rest your chin atop your arms.

“Why… why didn’t you want anybody to know?” The midfielder wondered in a soft tone, trying hard not to scare you off or go over the top. If she wants to help you and understand you, which she desperately does, this is the pathway she has to, albeit reluctantly, go down.

“Wanted people to get to know me, not a label.” You frowned, hastily wiping the tear that slips out with the frustration slowly bubbling inside of you. “Didn’t want to be a problem for anyone. Wanted to fit in.”

Just like that, it all clicked for Alexia.

The feigned smiles, sometimes forced laughter, the troubled look on your face whenever you thought you were alone, all of it adds up. You had repressed parts of you so that things went as smooth sailing as possible, so that people didn’t think any differently of you or immediately feel drawn away like they often did. The biggest part of you, what makes you you, is the one thing you didn’t want people to see, out of nothing but complete and all-consuming fear. And Alexia would be damned if she let you go on like this.

“Can I take a seat next to you?” She said quietly, a hint of a smile on her face when you nodded again. She did exactly that; without making too much noise in the still room, she pulled up the chair next to you and sat down, her eyes raking up and down your face.

“If I told you that I don’t think any differently of you at all, would you believe me?” She began with.

You just shrugged dismissively, not having moved a single muscle in the past few minutes apart from breathing and blinking. If you don’t move, if you don’t draw attention to yourself, perhaps this whole thing will disappear. A girl can dream.

“Because I don’t, cariño. I really don’t. You are not a problem for any of us at all. You face different struggles than us, but nobody thinks of you as anything less than a great player and an even better person. We are all glad you are here. I and others on the team will face different struggles than you, and I can bet you would never think any differently of us. Am I right?”

Her words break through the defensive wall you’d put up to protect yourself from anything else around you. A common feature of the start of your meltdowns, except it’s quite possible that your captain had just stopped it from going any further.

Hesitantly, you sat up from your slouched position and wiped tiredly at your face.

“No, I would never.” You told her, slumping back against your chair and fiddling with the drawstring on your shorts.

“Exactly. You don’t need to worry about any of that at all, I promise. You are one of us now. A culer. We will take care of you.” She smiled brightly, you can hear it in her voice. So for the first time since you’d entered the room, you turned to look at her, only to find her eyes were filled with earnesty and kindness. And… perhaps for the first time since you’d arrived in Barcelona, you truly did feel like you belong here. Like you could make a life for yourself here, against all odds.

“Thanks.” You sniffled, feeling the remnants of your outburst fade away, only to leave overwhelming exhaustion in its wake.

“It’s okay. You can come to me anytime for anything. There will always be someone here for you to talk to, and I’ll be the first to fight for you if that’s ever necessary.” Now, you were actually smiling. A genuine one, too.

“I think Ingrid might beat you to it, actually.” You teased her, watching as she grins.

“You’re probably right.” She chuckled, before pausing. You already knew what she was about to say before she opened her mouth. Neurotypicals are just way too predictable. “How did you know Ingrid told me?”

“You can just tell when someone knows. They treat you differently.” Alexia frowned anxiously at that.

“I didn’t… did I treat you differently?” She questioned, along with a poor attempt at disguising the undertones of fear in her voice.

“You haven’t, not really, but… I don’t know, I can just tell instantly. It’s hard to explain. You haven’t treated me differently, but I could tell you knew compared to when you didn’t know. The look on your face too. But thank you for… just everything so far. You have helped a lot, so.” You shrugged. She smiled, a little in relief, but nodded nevertheless.

“You don’t need to thank me. Now, can I ask some more about what happened today? You said you forgot to eat?”

“Yeah. It’s just because my routine was messed up, that’s all. Yesterday morning I ate before training because Ingrid had baked me some pastries, but today I had none left and then genuinely forgot. It happens sometimes, it’s just part of it.”

“Part of what?”

“Autism.” Duh.

“Oh. I did not know that.” Alexia stated simply.

“Yeah, well, most people don’t.” You told her. Alexia nodded understandingly, a plan of action already formed in her mind.

“I’m sure you already know this, as an athlete, but it’s important for your safety that this doesn’t happen again. So I have a solution in mind that could help.” You hummed to tell her to continue. “I can ask either the catering staff here, or find a private chef, to start meal prepping for you. We can organise it on the club’s behalf so that you don’t have to pay anything. I will go with you, or for you if you’d like, to Jonatan and help sort it out for you. You can meet with a nutritionist to figure out what food you need and tell them what you do and don’t like, we can sort it all out for you. It wouldn’t be a problem.”

Oh. You’d never thought about that before.

“I guess that could work.” You decided after a few moments of consideration.

That would actually be a really helpful solution. Certainly one less thing to worry about, and it could add a secure layer to your routine. An important one too.

“Would you be okay with that?” Alexia wondered, smiling when you nodded. “Good. Leave it to me, I will get it sorted for you.”

She paused again, clearly hesitant about something. You raised an eyebrow at her, trying to coax it out of her with a look, but you couldn’t help the amused smile on your face at the sudden, faint blush that landed on her cheeks.

“What is it?”

“Uh… there is no way to ask this without coming across as… very forward, to say the least.” She started, shaking her head at her own ridiculousness. “May I get your number? For captain’s reasons, of course.”

“Right.” You smirked, watching as she shakes her head, this time at your teasing, and grabs a pen from the stationary pot in the centre of the table. “And what shall I write it on?”

“Well… just use my hand, I guess.” She suggested, offering the back of her hand out for you. You grinned and gently took hold of it, jotting down your number for her.

“There you go, Capi.” You smiled, clicking the pen and putting it back.

Not long after that, one of the staff members came in with the food Alexia and Mapi had organised for you. So, leaving your captain with a promise that you'll eat it the second you walked through your apartment door, you went home. It was a great meal, and if it'd be the catering staff at Barcelona that would do your meal prep, well, it'd be a great deal.

That night went just like the others; you relaxed for some time to decompress after training, until you eventually started feeling somewhat human again, and arose from bed to do one of any of your hobbies that you felt like doing that night. Reading, watching movies, drawing and painting, listening to music, or any others that pique your interest that night.

On some occasions, you'll be so mentally exhausted from your day that none of them seem at all appealing, and it takes a lengthy period of time to feel yourself again. An hour, the rest of the evening, or sometimes even the whole week. After especially hard times, it could take weeks. Fortunately you hadn't been through such events in years, but the fear of falling into that hole ever again was always present in the back of your mind.

The thing about having this disorder is that some things never change. Most things never change. You learn to cope, you can heal from past experiences, but in the grand scheme of it all, things never change. Certain events, people, even words can still be triggers. No amount of therapy or coping mechanisms or whatever, can help. You were born this way, and you would die this way.

You would live a life and still struggle with even the most mundane things. Washing dishes was a no-go, the sensory issues were way too intense for that one. A day without showering first thing in the morning was automatically a write off. Bad performances in matches could still lead to a meltdown on certain days. One wrong look from someone can send you spiralling.

Autism was a blessing and a curse. It made you who you are; you have no idea who you would be without it. Yet, at the same time, it could debilitate you to such extreme degrees that… at night, when you were alone under the disguise of darkness, you can't help but wonder what you could have done with your life had you not been born with this burden.

And with the day you'd had already, well, the only way you'd learnt to get over these things were to move on from them. That's what you had to do. If you become too concentrated on them, analysed every detail that went wrong, thought about every opinion those who witnessed it could hold, you'd suffer for it more than you needed to.

You couldn't move on if others couldn't move on though.

Unknown: Did you get home safe?

There was most likely only one person it could be, but where's the fun in that?

You: Depends who I'm talking to…

Alexia: It's Alexia??

Too easy.

You: I knew it was you, dumbass. Yes I got home safe, thank you. Food was great too :)

Although, when a few minutes went by after that last text, the doubts came flooding in. Did you take it too far with her? It was a bit ballsy to say that, she's just checking in on you. Captain duties.

Then again, who was it calling you?

“Hello?” You frowned, and this was another instance where you're cursing yourself, because why was your heart racing and cheeks burning at one random phone call?

“Dumbass, huh?” Came a smug voice, and then your heart was racing for another, more light-hearted reason.

“Yeah, sorry about that… apparently I'm a bit of a keyboard warrior.” You blushed sheepishly, relieved beyond belief when the woman down the line laughed.

“Don't worry about it. You're feeling okay now, sí?”

“Yes, fine. You know, I didn't plan for today to happen. It just did.” You mumbled, still embarrassed by it all.

“I know, no one blames you for it. I just wanted to check in with you.”

“I'm good, thanks. I've only ever had that happen like once before, I guess training on an empty stomach isn't the greatest idea in the world.” You joked lightly, Alexia humming in agreement.

“How does it happen? You said your routine was messed up, how did that lead to you forgetting?”

“It's a long story.” You sighed, but Alexia doesn't care.

“I have a free evening.” She said simply. This woman.

“Well… every training session so far, Ingrid has met me in the morning at my apartment beforehand so we can travel in together. She normally checks in with me, asks how I'm feeling and if I've eaten and whatnot. But she was ill, which I obviously don't blame her for, by the way. So not having her with me these past two days has terrified me quite a bit. She's basically the thing that holds my whole morning routine together. I guess, because she wasn't there, everything just flew out the window.” You explained, but things still weren't quite adding up in Alexia’s mind.

“So how does that relate to you forgetting to eat? Do you not get hungry?”

“Not like normal people do. One of the things with autism is that… we're not really in tune with our bodies? Like, I don't often get hungry or thirsty, I have to force myself to remember to eat and drink. And when I don't, I only realise I haven't done either of the two when I start feeling ill, like today. But food and drink feel like a chore, which is another reason I forget too. It's different when it comes to football though, being an athlete has taught me to be in tune with my body in terms of injuries, but not for anything else. It's weird.”

“Wow, I never knew that before. That's interesting.” She commented. She's got a lot to learn.

“I prefer… inconvenient.” You said with a shy smile, glad to hear Alexia chuckle at that.

Unexpectedly, for quite some time after that, the pair of you just… talked. A lot. Like, for an hour. About everything - from what pastries Ingrid baked you, to a few more facts about yourself and your ASD, and everything in between.

It's unnervingly natural. Fun too, but also a little odd. Is she doing it out of pity, or..?

“I almost forgot the other reason I called you.” She said out of nowhere, the smile on her face audible once again. “We have our pre-season dinner this Friday, the whole team is going. You should come.”

A dinner? At a restaurant? Oh god.

“Oh, I… it sounds good, but I don’t know, I-”

“Hey, why not?” She questioned gently.

“Just, they’re not really my scene.”

In a split second, Alexia attempted to think back on all she knew about anxiety to combine it with the very little information she knew about autism, hoping the two overlapped somewhat. Luckily for her, they do.

“The club rents out the restaurant so it’ll just be the team and a few senior staff members. It shouldn’t be too loud. It’s more like a celebratory dinner before the season starts, so there's no partying or anything like that at all. I really hope you come, but I understand if not. There’s no pressure.”

Damn you, Alexia.

“Okay. Okay, I'll go.”

—

Normal order resumed for the rest of the week; Ingrid recovered from her short 48-hour bug and returned to training like she hadn't even had a day off. Her being back also meant your mind was a hell of a lot more at ease, even if Alexia had offered to see you every morning.

There was one other thing you were blessed with: obliviousness. Because, during the car ride to training the day after your phone call with the captain, the smirk that Mapi greeted you with in the rearview mirror after you tell her what happened once she headed home, is definitely not confusing at all. Definitely not.

That smirk made a comeback far sooner than you'd like.

“Say that again?” Mapi asked with a squint to her eyes, forcing down the laughter she so desperately wants to let out.

“Alexia is driving me to the team dinner.” You repeated the sentence you'd just said for her, looking to Ingrid for help. “Ingrid, tell her to behave please.”

“María, come on. Alexia is just doing her a favour, you know she's not a fan of driving.” Ingrid said whilst nudging her girlfriend, though secretly she's hiding some intense excitement levels under her very good poker-face.

“Exactly! Screw you, Mapi.” You sighed dramatically, turning back to the mirror as you put your earrings in.

“So you're sure you don't need us to drive you there?” Mapi asked suspiciously, and there was that stupid smirk again.

“Ugh, yes! I am making friends, you should be happy!” You groaned, fixing the shorter defender with a dagger-like glare in the reflection.

“More than fr-”

“Okay! Are you ready, snuppa? When is Alexia coming?” Ingrid interjected, discreetly stomping on her girlfriend's foot.

“She's on her way, she'll be here any minute now.” You answered after checking your phone. “You know, I can't rely on you guys forever like you're my parents or something. I love you, but I don't love you that much. And I'm sure you feel the same.”

“No!” Ingrid cried out in a way that's entirely too theatrical. She came over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I do love you that much, it's María you need to worry about.”

“I do worry about her sometimes. You should too, Ingrid.” You murmured, Ingrid humming in agreement as you watched her Spanish counterpart… busy herself in your fridge?

“María, out of there! We are literally going for dinner right now!”

“Ingrid, princesa, you need to work on your English- we're not at dinner ‘right now’, that is why I am in the fridge.”

“Guys! Alexia is here, let's go. I'll see you at the restaurant.” You kissed Ingrid’s cheek and flicked Mapi’s forehead as you ushered them out the door, locking it behind you and making your way down to the ground floor.

Alexia was there, waiting for you whilst leaning against her car, and a smile tugged at her lips the second she saw you. You heard some commotion behind you, most likely Mapi being scolded by Ingrid, but you shut it out as you headed over to the midfielder, fighting back a ridiculously cheesy grin.

She greeted you the same way she did on the first day she met you - enveloping you in a warm hug that really shouldn’t be as comforting as it was. Not a big deal. Regardless, you both clambered into the car and made your way to the restaurant.

Thankfully, the evening went surprisingly well. It was a very low-key evening, just like Alexia said. In fact, you might even go as far as to say you enjoyed it, that’s a welcome revelation. And it seems you weren’t the only one that had discovered something new.

“Can I ask you something?” Alexia said on the drive back to your apartment.

“Sounds like there’s no stopping you.” You replied, smiling when she teasingly rolled her eyes.

“At dinner, when Patri asked why you don’t drink, you said ‘long story short, I don’t like it’ so I was just wondering what you meant by that?” Alexia asked, before almost immediately regretting it. “I mean, you don’t have to answer, it’s your business, but… if there’s anything we should be mindful about, then let me know.”

Who needed alcohol when you had a tendency to lose your inhibitions whenever you got too exhausted?

“No, not really any problems. I don’t have any issues with people drinking around me, I just have a bit of a history with it but it’s nothing big. It’s fine.” You shrugged, trying to keep your eyes open as the streets of Barcelona passed by your window.

“What… what happened?” Alexia pressed gently.

“Well, when I was about seventeen, I started going through a really hard time. I had just dropped out of school, I’d had some trouble with friends, I was basically struggling quite badly. I started partying and drinking a lot, way more than I should have. Then I began to rely on it too much, just to get me through really basic stuff. It made me feel normal, it got rid of the voice in my head and it made me feel like a functioning person of society because it was what everybody else did. One day I decided it was best that I don’t drink at all, and it’s easier to tell people I don’t like it but actually I’m just scared of drinking because of all it reminds me of. So, I avoid it.” You explained, rather nonchalantly.

The mental exhaustion was hitting hard that night, it was evident in the way you spoke. There was one explanation; dissociation. Dinners were not your favourite things in the world, they were a challenge to get through even when you were in the best company. Small talk, food, the sound of people eating, the scrapes of cutlery against ceramic, and the attention on some occasions being entirely on you? Yeah, a big no go. Which is why you were so tired, so distant, because your mind was in protection mode to keep you running until you got home.

Talking about your past was difficult, you’d come a long way and it felt counter-intuitive to talk about the bad times when you’d worked so hard to come to a good place. Yet, here you were, baring your soul about a topic you normally kept to yourself. You don’t even feel at least a little bit anxious at the fact you’d just spilled that secret. Alexia takes all the concern you normally feel and keeps it for herself.

“I’m sorry you went through that, cariño. Thank you for telling me.” She smiled sadly over at you, an ache growing in her heart at your defeated demeanour where you sit in her passenger seat. “Are you feeling okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Tired. So tired.” You sighed. Even just talking felt like a chore in that moment. “Wanna get home, s’all.”

“Okay, we’re almost there now.” She said, “I’m proud of you for coming today. I know you weren’t a fan of the idea initially but you came, and everybody was so glad that you did. I am really proud of you, and so are Ingrid and Mapi too.”

The woman to your left surprised you everyday with each act of kindness she was showing. She hardly knew you, she hardly knew of your struggles, but she was adamant to learn and show just how deeply she cared. You were beyond grateful for her and all she’d said and done, even if you couldn’t verbalise that just yet.

All you could do was offer a simple nod, almost entirely mute as a result of how utterly overstimulating the day had been. You had loved it, sure, but sometimes when days like today left you in such a dejected state that you could hardly talk, there were still times if you wondered if fighting for a somewhat normal life was worth it.

From then on, the rest of the drive home was silent. Alexia dropped you off, made sure you knew to contact her or Ingrid or whoever you felt comfortable speaking to should you need them, and that was that. You got inside, were barely able to get yourself changed, before passing out as soon as you got into bed.

—

A few weeks went by and it was more of the same. After that dinner, the team really clamped down and focused on getting everybody ready for the start of the new season. Training at Barcelona was different to anything you’d ever experienced before; it was intense, but light-hearted. There was competition, but it was healthy, everybody egged each other on even if they wanted to win. Ingrid was right, you had never found training this enjoyable before. You had to put that down to the people though, if it wasn’t for them then you’d never feel as comfortable as you do now.

There were blips, there were still obstacles, but apart from that time you fell ill after training , there hadn’t really been any meltdown-inducing moments. Just a lot of burn-out and exhaustion, but you were near enough a pro at dealing with that now.

The environment was… perfect for you. And one factor of that outcome is definitely down to the help of the famous three you had near enough attached yourself to since your arrival.

But the main factor to how well you had settled in was down to you. At some point along the way, not that the exact date mattered or anything (at exactly 12:02 on Monday the 26th of August), you hit a milestone that you had never managed to reach before.

It was unplanned, but once the initial shock had worn off and the anxiety left, you teared up in the arms of Ingrid at the pride you felt towards yourself. Then Mapi joined in with the hug, and so did Alexia, then… so did the whole team too.

For the first time, you were honest with your team. For the first time, you told them that you had autism. And for the first time, you weren’t suffocated by that prospect. When they all came together to hug you, it wasn’t just a physical embrace, it was them fully accepting you even with this burden you held and championed every day of your life. Though, with the support of others, it was hard to think of it as a burden. The gravity of a secret this big had weighed you down for years, but… now, your chest had never felt so light.

They supported you when you arrived, but the extremes this Spanish team took didn’t quite register until the week before the first game of the Liga F season. Fortunately for you, the first game of the season was at your new home of football, the Estadi Johan Cruyff. So, to help settle the rising nerves you were feeling as game day got closer, the club had organised a training session for you at the stadium a few days before. The more familiar you were with your surroundings, the less you had to worry about on the day. And, as everybody knew, the only thing you needed to worry about for your debut would be how well you did on the pitch.

What you didn’t know though, was that every member of your team was waiting in the stands for you to walk out. And the second the sound of boots hitting the floor echoed from the tunnel through the empty stadium, Mapi was up on her feet to cheer and encouraged her teammates to do the same. The only person that hesitated was Ingrid, but when she saw the look on your face as your te- your friends outwardly rallied behind you so openly and so freely, she became the loudest one of them all. That was the perfect way to prepare for game day, you really couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to work with everyday.

Were you jittery and wracked with nerves as you waited on the sidelines to be substituted in at the 70 minute mark? Yes, but the second you took your first step on the grass with the crowd’s applause as your welcome, you fixated on the game and everything else was just background noise.

From a young age, before you had even heard of the word autism, football had very obviously been your special interest, otherwise known as the one random topic out of everything in the world to take over your life.

You would spend hours in your backyard, kicking a ball against the side of your house, driving your family crazy. The walls of your bedroom were covered, corner to corner, in posters ranging from your favourite players, to clubs from all over the world. Christmases and birthdays as a kid were, to you, all about what from your presents you could add to your collection. Kits, boots, scarves, match-day programmes, magazines, even trading cards. Back at your childhood home in Norway, all these things were stored away in the attic, still items you cherished.

As you got older and life got a bit more difficult, football became your escape. School was exhausting, people were exhausting, but football was something you could do on your own. No one bothering you, no one expecting anything from you, it was a time you could forget the world and all its misdemeanours, and just relax. And honestly, that’s all you planned for it to be. It was hard to imagine it being anything else than just a hobby.

All it took was one game to change the whole trajectory of your life. A game of girls against boys at your school at the age of only eleven, and the next day your sports teacher had gotten you a trial at the local academy. You passed it with flying colours, and flourished in the sport from there.

…Until one random day when you were fourteen, your mother sat you down for a conversation you never could have expected. But once you'd had time to dwell on her words, everything made sense.

You had autism spectrum disorder.

It wasn’t made official until the assessment process was over and you received your diagnosis, but that was the day it felt like your life had been irreversibly changed. Your view of the world changed with one conversation, and it was as if everything you thought you knew was wiped completely. Like you had been thrown into the ocean with no one and nothing around to help.

All the tantrums, the bad behaviour at home compared to being a model student at school, the fussy eating habits, and the endless list of out-of-the-norm habits you had - it added up to this one, new label. The tantrums became meltdowns, the reasoning behind your behavioural differences were from spending the whole day surrounded by people and masking to fit in which led to you being so overwhelmed and overstimulated, your mind went into overdrive and didn’t know what to do. The fussy eating turned out to be sensory issues, with the textures and tastes of certain foods making you physically ill.

There was so much to learn that some days it felt like too big a challenge to tackle. Then there would be the days where you were up all night, the light of your family laptop kept hidden under the blanket you draped over yourself, as you researched this life-changing disorder until the sun rose.

It’s funny, really, how quickly your life can change with just three words.

For years, you had been defeated by it, succumbing to the assumptions that you could never amount to anything more than the label forced upon you, but look at you now. Providing a world class through ball to the most recent Ballon D’Or recipient to tie off a 3-0 win in the first game of the season.

You had learnt at some point in the last twelve years that the only choice you had was to live with it. Make the most of it. This was your one life, you had to make it work. You were adamant to thrive for the others that couldn’t, for the 1 in 13 women that didn’t believe they were strong enough to fight back, and to prove to the world that this disorder didn't hold you back.

They wouldn’t know that your mind could be your own worst enemy, or the self-deprecating thoughts you could have whilst your face gave away no hints, or that sometimes you didn’t believe in yourself and the anxiety was so intense that you could be stuck in bed for days, even weeks, at a time. All they saw right now was your team, FC Barcelona, rushing over to celebrate you rather than the goal scorer because they knew what it meant to you. The world would only ever see your victories, because they had no business to strike you when you were already down. You were strong, you were worth it, and most importantly, you had done it. You’d made it to the exact point you dreamed of. That’s all that mattered.

Unfortunately, it only takes one bad thing to set you down an unwanted path.

Part 2

#woso x reader #fcb femení #fcb femeni #fcb femení x reader #alexia putellas x reader #ingrid engen #mapi león #fridolina rolfö #barcelona femeni #barcelona femení #barcelona femeni x reader

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gatorbites-imagines · 8 months ago

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Love me some bratty wolverine but I NEED my obedient sweet sub too 😋 wolverine who's just so desperate for praise and being told he's good, needy and never knowing how to properly ask for it and just ending up whining and pleading to near tears.... letting you take all the control and being so frightened and uncertain until you're showering him with reassurance and praise

Logan Howlett x male reader

Headcanons

Super exhausted, we did an event as my new education place (what do you call the place you take a bachelor’s degree in english?) that went until ten in the evening, so I’m still pooped. Hope this is still enjoyable though.

How’s everyone else been doing lately? This ended up being more focused on the comfort and relationship part of it, but I hope that’s good too.

I believe the Wolverine from the Deadpool and Wolverine movie would be the type of Logan you are looking for. He’s been through so much, lost so many people, has been hurt so much and lives with such a deep guilt and self-hatred.

In the beginning he wouldn’t show it, especially if you were someone who knew him, or some variant of him, in the past. He has an image he needs to live up too, or at least that’s what Logan thinks.

To him, he doesn’t deserve anything nice or soft. He doesn’t deserve to be loved or cared for, which in the end just ends up being his Achilles heel. Logan has starved himself so much for any kind of affection or care, that when he starts loving somebody he becomes like a dog.

Not a happy wagging panting dog, no. more a starved, dirty, covered in cuts and sores, kind of dog, desperately pouncing on the tiniest sliver of food you throw his way.

In the beginning, Logan would try to deny these feelings completely. Again, he doesn’t think he deserves to even love somebody, especially not somebody as great as you. So, he tried to suppress it. but that only adds onto it. the stuff we try to suppress only comes back stronger; didn’t you know?

That’s why he tries so hard to stay cold, rude, mean, anything he can to chase you off. If you leave first, then it wont matter, right? But damnit, you stay. And you just seem to cling on tighter the more he struggles, like those dogs so used to fighting and snarling at everything for their own safety, finally being taken in by someone whose patient enough to love them, and wait for them to feel safe.

And when Logan finally starts to feel safe, letting down his walls little by little and oh so slowly reaching out. Then he becomes insatiable. In the beginning its small things like standing closer to you, his leg pressing against yours, him bringing you stuff that reminded him of you.

But soon he can’t help but be all over you, only when you’re alone though. You end up with 300+ lb. of hairy gruff Wolverine, glued to you like he needs to be close to you as much as he needs air to breathe.

This is also where you discover that he completely melts when you run your hand through his hair or beard, his eyes almost rolling back as he arches into your loving touch like a sunflower reaching for the sun.

This dynamic also follows into the bedroom. Here Logan starts out thinking he’s gonna be the one in charge and on top, as he’s always been in past relationships.

But when you show signs that you like to make the orders and tell him what to do, Logan is honestly relieved to let the ropes go, falling to his knees with a lump thump and crack, the floor splitting under his weight and desperation to just be good for you, to be loved.

You never thought you would see Logan of all people cry, but you quickly learn that praise is the way to get him there. You were terrified the first time he started silently crying as he rubbed his face back and forth on your knee, a minor tremble in his shoulders. But you learn it’s because he’s so overwhelmed by the fact that somebody actually still loves him.

Logan has spent all this time being in charge and being on edge, that he’s almost desperate and begging for you to take charge. Hed crawl down the street on a leash if that’s what you wanted, all that matters to him is your love, your praise and acknowledgment.

Of course you wouldn’t do that, and you worry a lot about his comfort and safety. It doesn’t take you long to realize that Logan will bend himself backwards to please you, even go further than he’s normally comfortable with.

This leads to you having to give him a scolding that has the mutant falling to his knees and clinging onto you, as if you were gonna leave him behind too. Communication has been and always will be hard for Logan, but over time you pick up his physical cues.

You still like to have him tell you in words what he wants though, just to be sure, but also for him to practice. Even when he’s near tears in pleasure you still want Logan to tell you what he wants, how, and where.

You two always end your times together with a long cuddle, the cuddling lasting longer than what you did before since Logan soaks up your love like a sponge that just never seems to end. You swear he purrs, even if Logan denies it vehemently.

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iloveboysinred · 1 year ago

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That zuko smut you wrote was SO good!! is it okay if i request some nsfw hc ??? but from keith kogane, idk how to be specific lol!! Thank you sm 💗💗

Thank you anon youre my second ask ever i’m super excited !!!!! I’m glad you enjoyed it! You are so kind🥰 & Ofc you can !! I love me some Keith Kogane. Top tier boy in red

Masterlist

cw; sexually explicit content, 18+ MDNI! Nsfw under the GIF kinda long!

GIF BY @/kin-of-the-sheep

- Okay so in my head i feel like after you and all the paladins get launched into space and learn about Zarkon and the war and everything, you and Keith definitely didnt have time to really “get it on” if you know what i mean. Things were moving so fast and you all needed time to adjust.

- But after a few days of training and getting used to the fact that you’re literally in space the switch is back on for sure.

- Keith isnt a patient man. So I feel like he definitely enjoys quickies here and there around the castle. They’re never planned. Sometimes the way you train in hand to hand combat gets a little too touchy, sometimes the way you looked at him made his stomach turn and his dick jump. Keith just needs you in that exact moment, and the way ya’ll be fucking its a miracle nobody has walked in on you yet

-or maybe they just stay away on purpose 😭

- he likes to be rough during these, slapping your ass, squeezing your hips, shit even tugging on your hair. Everything is moving so fast he wants to get a feel of everything.

- but when you guys have real sex, its like night and day.

- You guys would come home from a mission, tired and scared for each other, every time you guys go out there you run the risk of being captured or worse. So immediately you and Keith embrace each other, heading to the showers to clean off.

- It starts innocent, Keith washing your back, washing your hair. He was savoring every caress, just wanting to be in your skin.

- but then he starts getting touchy feely, ghosting his fingers over your nipples, leaving soft nibbles on your neck. You feel him starting to get hard, his body pressed to yours as close as he can be.

- knowing thats on his mind, you decide to take it to his room.

- it takes you a minute to get there, because Keith kept stopping mid walk to press you against the wall and kiss you and feel you up over your towel. He gets needy fast. Like i said, he’s not a patient man.

- So, when you finally reach the intended destination, his movements are in haste, wanting to get you bare and open for him as soon as he can.

- His kisses are slow as his hands wander, holding you close to him as if he’s never going to get the chance again.

- he’s greedy with your body, eating you out messily. He wants every last drop of you, whole time relishing in the fact that you’re all his.

- every sound you make, every reaction to his touch is reserved for him. In a world where everything was taken from him, Keith wanted something to himself. Something he could take.

- So, he took and took. Orgasm after Orgasm until he was satisfied with the mess he’s made of you.

- But even then he’s not finished with you yet. He likes to watch you closely when he enters you. Eyes half lidded as the tightness of your heat squeezes around him, its utter bliss for the two of you, and he doesnt hold back.

- I dont care what anybody says, Keith is vocal during sex. He grunts and moans right above you, thrusting into you with a passion that shocks you. He loves to ask you how he makes you feel, if you like what he’s doing, ect. Despite having been in the same predicament many and i mean maaany times and knowing just how to set you off.

- “like that, baby?” “Fuck…tell me you like this dick” “take it baby, fuck!”

- Very into eye contact during sex. You guys will lock gazes often. You love to drown in his purple iris while he fucks you, getting almost lost in each other, the only thing you can think of is the stuttering of his hips as he nears his end. He’s everywhere at once, his scent, his body, his voice. All you see is Keith.

- ngl Keith folds you up into so many different positions. He just wants to be as deep and as close to you as he can. He’ll have your legs on his shoulder while he basically folds you in half, beating down into you with his forehead pressed against yours, grunting out curses as his hips rock into yours. He loves the way your face contorts with every thrust. He’ll reach between your legs, playing with you just to watch you squirm.

- He loves when you scratch up his back. It lets him know that he’s hitting it just right, boosting his ego as well as adding to his pleasure.

- he doesn’t really do pet names during sex. He’ll call you “baby,” “hun”, “beautiful” maybe even “my love” if he’s feeling sappy & he loves when you call him “baby”, “honey” or even just his name sounds good coming from your lips. But as far as daddy, sir, master?? He will roll his eyes at you so fast and look at you so crazy, it actually makes me laugh thinking about it.

- When he reaches his peak, he smashes his lips onto yours, his hips jerking into yours as he spills into you.

- But when you reach your peak he takes his time to coax you through it, riding it out with you, whispering encouragement and littering your skin with kisses as you come undone.

- after care is a must. Once you guys are all cleaned up you lovebirds will lay next to each other and lock gazes. Kissing and giggling like lovestruck puppies.

- But all that lovey dovey shit aside Keith is a freaaaaak

- Its the little things you do that really gets Keith’s blood pumping.

- like when the team found out he was half galra and Allura was being cold and standoffish to him, you didnt hesitate to rip her a new one about your man! I know thats right

- while you were bickering with her, Keith was just smug as shit, getting turned on by your protectiveness.

- soon as he got you alone he was beating your walls loose, biting you, sucking marks into your neck.

- when you get angry like that he’ll happily bottom and let you ride him. He absolutely loves when you take control and throw him around a little bit. He reaches up to play with your nipples and leave hickeys all over you as you rock yourself down on him, letting you essentially get yourself off on him any way you wanted.

- Be rough with him. Grab his hair, bite him, mark him up. He’s yours and he wants you to prove it.

- teasing Keith is a dangerous game. If you’re in public doing it especially. You’re basically asking him to break you down as soon as he gets you alone.

- sometimes it gets competitive, Keith doesnt back down and he’ll make sure you’re nothing short of a wreck by the end of the night. But you’re his perfect match. The both of you essentially going tit for tat all night. When he thrusts into you, you throw that ass back on him. When he presses heated kisses to your lips, you suck his tongue into your mouth and turn it into a make out.

- When he came back from being gone for two years with his mom, you guys fucked like animals.

- Seeing him shed his angsty teenager phase into his angsty grown ass man phase was making you feral.

- his hair had gotten longer, he was taller, and his body had become more muscular, but still lean.

- when you got him all to yourself after everyone greeted him and he delivered his news and all that, you guys were just straight up nasty.

- you had two years of no sex to make up for, after all.

- He fucked you in just about every position in the book. Doggy, missionary, cow girl, full nelson, all of it. He missed your gasps, your hushed whispers of his name as he brought you to your high. It was sentimental almost, the way his thrusts showed how much he missed you.

- and it was when you reached your peak that it really dawned on him that he could never stray too far from you. Your boy in red was wrapped around your finger, bound to you. He gazed at you in new astonishment, almost childlike wonder as you fluttered around him. Forcing his own orgasm to rack his body. He moaned, low and drawn out. Pressing his lips to yours like he always did when you reached your climax, rocking his hips gently into yours to draw it out as much as he could.

- hushed “i love yous” between the two of you as you basked in the glow of having your Keith back.

Hope you like this Anon 💕 thank you for your request/ask :> notes and reblogs are appreciated, comments, asks and submissions are welcomed !

#voltron #vld keith #keith kogane #keith kogane smut #vld keith smut #voltron smut #voltron x reader #keith kogane x reader #❥iloveboysinred #{anonask ੈ✩‧₊˚ ฅ^. .^ฅ}#˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚{𝕞𝕪 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕪} ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

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so-writing · 24 days ago

Text

don't forget to water the plants (4) (end) - Quinn Hughes

note: I have looooved writing this and I know a happy ending was wanted so I hope I delivered (I'm shit at writing happy) let me know what you think <3

one | two | three

Leaving him was easy, easier than you actually thought, but leaving this is an entirely different thing.

This is your life and you still have to live it like normal, sans Quinn. That wouldn’t be a problem if he was a regular guy, but he isn’t. He’s the famed captain of the Vancouver Canucks and he’s fucking everywhere.

You’re going grocery shopping? Quinn’s in an advertisement for Oreos, flashing a megawatt smile at you on the end cap of the aisle while you browse.

You’re taking a walk? Canucks fans end up within earshot and they can’t stop fawning over how many minutes he plays a night and how naturally gifted he is.

You can’t even pull into a fucking parking garage without seeing his likeness plastered on the side. Getting away looks better and better everyday because Quinn’s shadow looms so large in Vancouver that you can’t escape from it.

There’s no healing from the loss of him when he’s everywhere and you just can’t fucking deal with it anymore.

So you leave, for real this time.

—

Five years later

The sound of your alarm reluctantly pulls you out of a peaceful sleep, 5:43am. It’s entirely too early to be up and moving, especially after the late night you’ve had, but you have to work and the regulars at your shop are counting on you and your staff to caffeinate them for the day.

“‘Morning Zero,” You shake off the sleepiness and sit up to pet the snoozing ball of fur curled up at the foot of your bed, “you want to come with me to the shop today?”

Zero, your cat, doesn’t indicate any interest in leaving the bed and you can’t really blame him.

Waking up super early was an entirely foreign concept before you moved to Seattle. You were used to being taken care of by someone else that took the morning shift, and sleeping late was a normal thing.

Now, you wake up when the sun is in its early stages of rising and you’ve grown to love it. It hasn’t been easy but you’ve learned to welcome change. You grab your keys and lock the door behind you as you head into the crispy Seattle morning.

It’s going to be just another normal day, probably.

“Flip the sign, I’m going to step out back for a second. Come get me if you get more than three guests, yeah?”

Ava, your opening barista opens the doors and ushers the few customers hanging out and waiting into the coffee shop you bought two years ago. You pull a double shot of espresso into a cup with a bit of oat milk and step outside with it.

Seattle has been sitting beneath Vancouver your entire life and you had never realized how truly beautiful it was. Your coffee shop sits nestled into a cozy area with a few other shops on a small block overlooking a little dog park with a small pond in the middle. It’s far removed enough from downtown to avoid the noise and chaos and the neighborhood is warm and welcoming.

Your home even has a little backyard, something you never would’ve thought you’d ever have living alone. It’s nice, it's charming.

It’s the perfect spot for your new life.

This particular morning, you’re feeling a little weird and needing more time to think and drink your coffee than you would normally. Something is off but you can’t quite place it. Whatever, it’s fine, that happens occasionally.

You’re in the middle of finishing your coffee when the back door opens and Ava bursts out of it, “holyshitquinnhughesisherehesthefuckingcapofthenucs!”

Your heart sinks. There’s no fucking way he knows you’re here, that this is your place. It has to be a coincidence. Maybe the Canucks are playing the Kraken tonight and the boys are in town early? Even if that were the case, you’re pretty far away from the arena and there’s no reason for any of the players to be this far out grabbing a morning coffee.

Quinn was never really a coffee drinker anyway, what the hell is he doing at a coffee shop?

You had no idea Ava was into hockey at all and she has no idea about your past. You intend to keep it that way.

“You left him hanging while you ran back here to tell me that? Go back and serve him,” you school your face and keep the gentle scold as lighthearted as you can manage.

You don’t get the change to see if Quinn recognizes you because you don’t dare go out front. Instead, you linger in the back by the milk refrigerators until Ava comes running back, gushing over him. After all this time, this fucking asshole still has such a hold on you that it keeps you from moving freely throughout the business you own.

Ava doesn’t object when you decide to close the shop early for the day, and neither do the rest of your staff, they’re just happy to have a surprise day off. She’s still starstruck from making a drink for and meeting Quinn Hughes that she skips happily to her car without bothering remove her milk stained apron.

“I’ll wash it at home and bring it back in the morning,” she sing-shouts out her window as she speeds off.

You, however, don’t leave as easily or as happily. Knowing he was here, in your place, after not a trace of contact in five years doesn’t sit well with you. The Canucks had a game last night and don’t have another one for two days, you googled it, there’s no reason for Quinn to be here. No reason other than the obvious one.

It had become your mission not to follow his along with his life when you moved away. You didn’t want to know how his career was going or who he was dating and anything about him, really. You needed the space, but now, with him potentially creeping back into your life, you only feel one thing.

Hurt.

It’s been five year and just thinking about him fucking hurts.

Giving Zero a quick scratch behind the ears, you don’t bother to remove your shoes before falling into bed and finally letting the tears fall. Tears you’ve been storing for half a decade and you hate every single one of them.

Eventually, the crying gives way to sleep and fall hard, dreaming about coffee and hockey and the Quinn you used to know. The sound of your phone vibrating next to you doesn’t wake up and you miss the call.

Missed Call. 6:43pm.

You’ve never been able to escape that fucking number, it’s appeared everywhere in your life for such a long time, even after you left him, but this is the first night that you’ve felt the weight of it in five years.

You miss him, who he used to be because you don’t know him now, and you hate it. You hate it because you’ve built a good thing here in Seattle and even though you're doing it alone, you’re happier than you’ve ever been.

Bringing Quinn back into your life is just going to fuck all that up. If he shows up at your shop again, you’re going to make his drink and send him on his way.

You don’t recognize the number from the missed call, but just to be safe, you block it anyway.

The bell on the front door jingles, someone has just walked in and you try not to react. It’s 3:56, four minutes until the shop closes and you’ve sent the rest of the staff home for the day, deciding to close on your own and do some deep cleaning of both the espresso machines and your thoughts.

You’re about to turn and greet the guest when they speak first, “sorry for coming in so late.”

The sound of their voice, his voice, the one you’ve reluctantly been missing, nearly sends you into a spiral.

Quinn has just walked into your coffee shop, right before it’s about to close for the day, fucking last minute ass Quinn.

You haven’t heard him speak in five years but there’s no mistaking it, he’s here.

“I’ve always hated how last minute you tend to be, now you’re affecting my business with it.”

It’s supposed to be a joke but it has apparently fallen flat because when you turn and face him, he’s as pale as a fucking ghost.

Despite his surprised expression, it’s obvious that the years have been kind to Quinn. He’s filled out and matured nicely, looking more handsome than he ever was. He looks the same, but somehow completely different and it makes your stomach flip. You keep it cool though, you won’t do this on his terms, you’ve already done plenty of that in the past.

“That was supposed to be a joke, Quinn, hi.”

He doesn’t say anything else, so you initiate whatever the fuck this is.

“What can you get you?”

“I, uh, I’m not sure, what’s good here?”

“Everything is good, what did you get yesterday?”

Quinn smiles softly for just a second before dropping back into his neutral expression and approaches the counter, “I figured you were here, I was hoping to run into you.”

“I’m always here, I own the place. What can I get you?”

“A conversation about all the things I did wrong and all the plants I didn’t water.”

Well, that’s fucking annoying. You weren’t interested in doing this years ago and you’re definitely not going to fucking do it now.

“A drink, Quinn, what can I get you to drink?”

“Right, sorry.”

“We’re about to close.”

“Sorry.”

“You already said that.”

“Sor—fuck, i mean, I don’t,” Quinn runs a hand through his annoyingly soft looking hair and you struggle to hold your resolve, “I’m completely fucking this up.”

You aren’t sure how you should respond, but the words come out before you can stop them.

“That’s what you do though, right? Isn’t it kind of your thing?”

You know you’re being mean but you can’t help it, time doesn’t erase the shit he put you through and, suddenly, you’re smelling it as fresh as the day it was dropped. You know better, but you can’t help giving into your pettiness.

“That’s fair, I’ll take an iced chai with soy.”

“We closed four minutes ago, sorry.”

The tension hangs for a few seconds before you pull the plug on your customer service face and begin making Quinn’s drink, “I’m fucking with you, just jokes. When did you become a chai guy?”

“Shortly after you left, I was sleeping on chai, fuck me for that.”

“Absolutely fuck you for that, chai is a treasure. Thanks for coming in, have a good day!”

You don’t give Quinn a chance to respond before you round the counter and shove the drink into his hands, practically pushing him out the door and locking it you.

Bantering with him is still easy, even though brief, but you know as soon as you let him back in just a little, he’ll smash through your walls and earn the chance to hurt you again.

No fucking thank you, Quinn Hughes, you don’t get to do this again.

You don’t miss the smile on his face as he turns and leaves.

You wait anxiously for him to show up the next day but he doesn’t. Two weeks pass and you start to get back to normal, slowly forgetting about the random encounter with Quinn. Maybe he got the closure he wanted, or the hint that you didn’t want to see him. Whatever the case is, you’re happy he hasn’t returned.

He doesn’t belong in this phase of your life.

Unfortunately, that’s not going to stop him from trying to get in.

The end of April brings more than a decent amount of rain and chilly spring temperatures to match. It’s a little colder than you’d like, but you’re not mad at the constant rainfall and steady business it brings in. There’s a saying about how rain brings everyone inside.

It brings them inside, into your coffee shop, and you love that for you and them alike.

When the rain brings Quinn Hughes back into your shop, you’re ready.

Ready to send him fucking packing just like you did before.

“Can I get a small black coffee and a shot of espresso, please?”

You ignore the few whispers of people further back in line, they know who he is, and turn to pour his coffee.

“Sure, here’s your coffee, espresso shot will be at the end of the counter. Have a good day.”

“Thanks.”

Quinn’s hands swallow the small cup as he makes his way toward the rest of his order. Instead of leaving, like you hoped he would, he sits down at one of the tables in the lobby and pulls out his phone.

Hours pass and you try to continue your day like normal, but Quinn hasn’t left and the longer he sits, the more anxious you get. When the day comes to an end and everyone but him has left, you spend an extra long amount of time restocking and cleaning the milk fridges.

“Quinn’s not leaving,” Ava bounces on the balls of her feet behind you, “I think he’s waiting for you.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“No, he didn’t have to.”

He left without issue the first time, why the fuck is he hanging around now?

“Well, he’s just going to have to wait, I’m busy.”

Ava’s smart, she isn’t dealing with your stalling or listening to your bullshit.

“Something tells me he’ll wait as long as you make him, boss. Maybe you should take care of that.”

You should, she’s not wrong, but it’s not that easy. Quinn isn’t just anybody, he’s someone you loved wholly and someone you thought you’d spend your life with. He’s someone special, even now, even after all this time.

“Probably, yeah, but I’m fucking scared.”

It’s the most vulnerable you’ve ever been with her, with most people actually.

“Yeah, but you’re never going to get over your fears unless you face them, right? When it comes down to it, he’s ultimately just a fucking guy. Imagine getting worked up over any other man? You wouldn’t. He’s no different, yeah?”

You could kiss Ava on the mouth, and if you could afford it, give her a million dollar raise because she’s right.

At the end of the day, he’s just a fucking guy.

So why is it so fucking hard to sit across from him a the small cafe table he perched at this morning?

“We’re closed, Quinn, you’ve got to go.”

“I will, I just want to talk for a few minutes.”

“Ok, go on then.”

He runs a hand through his hair and picks at his clothes and takes a drink from his long empty coffee cup before he finds the courage to say anything.

“I wish I’d been here to see you open this place.”

It’s not what you expected. Something like ‘I miss you’ or ‘I’m sorry’ was what you planned to hear, but Quinn continues to surprise you, even now.

“You’re happy here.”

It’s not a question, he’s also not wrong.

“Yes.”

“I can tell, even with me creeping out here in all day you’ve smiled so much, more than I remember you ever doing before.”

“This is my business and I love it. Of course I’m happy and I smile.”

Quinn hesitates for a minute before reaching into the small duffel bag he has and pulling out a small box. You know exactly what it is. Holy fuck.

“I bought this about three months before we started to really fight,” he doesn’t open the box, instead sitting it on the table in front of you.

You say nothing.

“I’m glad I didn’t give it to you. Not because I’m trying to be shitty or anything, but because I’ve never seen you this happy. Not even back then. I never knew you wanted anything like this.”

“I didn’t know either, I kind of just happened upon this shop and everything fell into place.”

“You’re right, everything did fall into place.”

Quinn doesn’t open the box, choosing instead to tuck it back into his bag. As much as you want to see the ring, it’s probably for the best you don’t.

“I would love it to show you, but it’s not going to do any good. That ring is for someone else.”

It’s a weight off your shoulders you didn’t realize you were still carrying. It’s a release from the small room that you were previously, happily living in. It’s closure you didn’t realize you needed.

“You’re right, thank you for not showing me.”

“I’d like to start somewhere else,” Quinn smiles softly and turns to grab something from the floor beside him.

You nearly shit yourself when you see what he brings to the table: a pink princess philodendron on the smaller side.

He smiles widely and you share it because you know, “this is a cutting isn’t it?”

A cutting of the plant he bought all those years ago.

“Yeah. I finally got my shit together and learned how to water plants.”

#nhl imagine #hockey imagine #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #I love writing angst but sometimes you've got to eat something sweet #nhl writing

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study-diaries · 12 days ago

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How To Study Multiple Subjects

As someone who had studied 4 subjects plus 2 languages and additional courses and extra curricular when i was homeschooled and in high school, obviously i got used to studying multiple subjects. It's fairly easy and interesting.

Here's the thing, multiple subjects is a blessing in disguise. It's easy to study many subjects because you have variety. Your brain loves variety. So, here's some tips...

Maintain Good Study Material

The mistake most students make is that they don't have the basic ground foundation. They don't know what's on the syllabus, how its structure is. Literally nothing. Many students i know, only search for their materials like two days before their exam and they panic. So, gather the following at the beginning of the school year/semester:

Textbooks (If you have any)

Practice papers

Previous year papers

Extra reading materials/ Reference books

If you don't have any textbooks. Go through the topics that you have and gather resources from different sources.

Different Notebooks For Every Subjects

I really don't understand the concept of using a single notebook for like 5-6 subjects. Like, you literally can't manage it. Even if you divide sections in the book, it will get confusing and sometimes the pages won't even be enough. So, just get a notebook for each subject. It will help you stay organized.

Divide Subjects.

Every subject is learnt and graded in a different way. You can’t use the same study techniques for every subject you have. You have mostly 3 types of subjects:

Memorization based

Practical/Question based

Theory/Essay based

You use different study techniques for different subjects. Memorization based subjects require more revision. Practical/Question based subjects require more practice. Theory based subjects require you to learn how to format your information.

Read up more: Division Of Subjects

Easy VS Difficult Subjects For You

Take a paper and write all your subjects. Now, draw a line and write your difficult subjects on one side and easy subjects on the other side. And then rate it from the most interesting to the most boring and categorize it. And then rank them on which ones take the same place. You'll get an idea of where you stand with your subjects and now you can study accordingly.

2 Subjects Per Day

This is the most important one i always recommend. If you're studying, then only 2 subjects per day should be taken up for it. Pair an interesting subject with a lighter one. If you hate accounts or find it difficult but you love English, then that's your combo. Make combinations and write them down. You can change them any day based on mood or you can keep them the same. It's up to you.

Standard Subject

I usually like to have at least one standard subject every day. That was accounts for me because i was so bad at it. The goal is not to ignore the subject until it is harder than usual. The goal is to study it every day. That subject must be your weakest one.

Breaks

Breaks are really necessary. I advise you to not allot a certain time limit for the break. Rather take a break when you actually feel tired. If you've worked for 2 hours straight, then you deserve an hour of rest. If you worked for just 30 mins and you feel tired, take 15 mins as your break. Divide your work time by half and that is your break time.

Subject Alignment With Energy

Your weakest subject must be done in your highest energy in order for you to grasp the actual concepts. That's the main aspect of it. Low energy = Easy subjects. High energy = Harder subjects. You have to identify your core energy grids and align your subjects accordingly.

Chunk Information

Group all your facts together. Instead of studying like everything is completely unrelated, study like it's all connected. If you want to learn something, chunk all your facts together. Create a visual chunk. Make everything related.

Use Mnemonics & Storytelling

Learn with these two. These help you to remember easily. Make stories and catchy phrases to remember points/facts. These are like the building blocks of studying anything. Stick small notes to your books writing the small stories and phrases beside the topic so the next time you want to revise it, it's easy.

Cheat Sheets

Create small cheat sheets. Write them down. No digital notes. Because you have physical copies. Make formulae sheets, theories, everything for every subject you are learning and keep them in different folders. Don't mix your sheets. You'll get overwhelmed. During revision, this will help a lot.

Fake Exams & Improvement Sheets

Create a fake exam environment. Sit on your desk with a timer, take a question paper and act as if you're actually writing the exam. Do this at least once and note everything. How much time you take to answer each question. What are your mistakes. Which section is your weakest. Note them down and most importantly, your overall improvements you should make.

For me, I did this for accounts, and it gave me so much clarity especially the improvements. I used to go through this improvement sheet before my actual exam and i did not repeat even a single mistake again. The trick is to keep updating the sheet by adding improvements from your actual exams too.

Testing At Random Times

I did this mostly during travel time. If i learnt a specific topic some time ago. And if i had nothing to do then I'd just mentally ask myself a question about that topic and answer it. Many times, even i am surprised the questions i ask, it gives a deep understanding of the topic. I used to even connect it to other concepts. Ask questions relating both. It's even better if you jump from one subject to the other.

Connect Similar Topic

Connect all your related subjects. Everything in school is somehow connected. I usually used to connect economics and business studies concepts. Sometimes even computers so... Connect them.

Practice Subjects Need More Time

Subjects like Accountancy, Physics, Chemistry, Economics, Maths need more time because they are in one way more practical. They require practice. Whether it be experiments o through sums. Invest more time in these subjects.

PYQ's

Use past year question papers because nothing shows important topics like pyq's. Note and mark the repeated questions and review them repeatedly. This really helps.

Read up more: How do you actually use previous year question papers

__________________

Hope this helps :))

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voidsuites · 3 months ago

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MULTI BOT RELEASE !!! (1/31/25) ⌢ ✨ .ᐟ

art donaldson ・゜゜・．noid. tennis has given art everything anyone could ever want— a fulfilling career, you and lily, and countless influential titles and wins— and with him getting closer to becoming a household name, art’s more than aware of his luck. he’s beyond grateful. however, fame’s a double-edged sword and it’s getting harder to both play into the paparazzi and their mind-games and also protect his family, so it’s not a surprise that art loses his temper when those lines finally get crossed. (based off “noid” by tyler the creator!)

bruce wayne・゜゜・．billie bossa nova. underneath all the sneaking around hotel rooms and charity galas, both you and bruce long to be understood for more than just your family names and your money. whatever’s going on between the two of you is merely putting a band-aid on another issue, you’re aware, but there’s something about bruce that helps you rationalize the less-than-ideal circumstances. a lot can change in twenty seconds… a lot can happen in the dark. (based off “billie bossa nova” by billie eilish!)

jim hopper ・゜゜・．you’re a fighter. in one moment, all hop had to worry about was you slowly growing more independent and mike wheeler’s insufferable attitude, but now the mind flayer’s set its sights on you and you’ve seemingly lost your powers. setting the mess with the russians beneath starcourt mall aside, hopper’s main priority is making sure you’re safe and away from any more danger. you may be a fighter, but you’re his kid first. (based off “you’re a fighter” by kyle dixon and michael stein!)

joel miller ・゜゜・．western nights. joel knows you’re not supportive of the violent ways he provides for you, but in a post-apocalyptic world morals are put on the back burner while he concerns himself with keeping you both fed, housed, and taken care of. you’re stubborn, he’s stubborn, but you’d never think of taking off and leaving him behind. this time’s no different. (based off “western nights” by ethel cain!)

patrick zweig ・゜゜・．part of your world. mermaids were nothing but a mere children's bedtime story— they weren't real. that’s what patrick’s father had told him since he'd been a boy; that the wondrous creatures he believed in with all his heart were nothing but tall tales meant to put the children of new rochelle to bed with little fight. that’s proven to be false when you rescue him from swimming with the fishes for eternity, and now that he knows your kind is real, patrick just has to learn more. he’ll bring you as many human trinkets for your collection as you’d like if you’d let him be part of your world for a moment. (based off “part of your world” by jodi benson and disney!)

tashi duncan ・゜゜・．bodyguard. wlw. tashi’s always been protective of you since you started seeing each other, but it’s always amusing to see just how worked-up she gets when you’re the center of attention. stanford’s hosting a concert in the park, art and patrick are nowhere to be found, and tashi’s left to keep herself in control lest she “accidentally” scare people off because they’ve looked at you too long. she’ll protect you in the mosh pit, no doubt— but she’s still working on keeping that territorial nature of hers in check. (based off “bodyguard” by beyoncé!)

got a request? go ahead and leave em here :) THANK YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH FOR FOR 10.4K! so excited to get started on my celebration requests— you guys once again are the BEST!!!! i hope all of these are to your liking… but do forgive me if joel is a little too ooc lol i’ve only seen bits of tlou but i tried to capture him right. hehe. i also made a tumblr community for all things voidsuites-oriented 🤭 join yap city if you dare (i’m still figuring out what i’ll post on there but think of it as a communal close friends story on ig haha) anyways i love these characters and i love these songs and i love you all!!!! thank you for making this so much fun for me i’m so grateful <3

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ozzgin · 1 year ago

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Heyyy just checked your masterlist and saw that despite you being into obey me! fandom, you don't have a fic. I'm married to Solomon in my mind so how about a situation where the reader (fem or gn your pick) is equally in love with this old man and begs him to recreate that time potion which made him immortal. Oh? Did i mention i want him to be a yandere? Please do that as well ^^

I love me my morally grey wizard ;)

I have 3 unfinished drafts for Diavolo, Barbatos and Satan on my Wattpad, but it was around the time I started getting Baki related requests here so I haven’t had the time to continue them. This goes for everyone reading, if you see a fandom title with no works you can always request something! :) This blog is only a few months old and I wasn’t writing much before (twice or thrice a year if I was generously inspired), so the variety is rather limited still. (I also finish requests at the pace of a snail, sorry about that)

Yandere! Solomon x Reader Headcanons

Featuring your fellow human classmate and now soon-to-be husband who couldn’t be happier about your wish to spend an eternity with him.

Content: gender neutral reader, obsessive behavior

It started rather subtle. Just idle curiosity at first, a mere feigned surprise that was quickly swept aside for more important matters. Sure, Diavolo bringing another fellow human to the Devildom, especially one without any powers, was at least mildly intriguing. Your situation was as tempting as a puzzle to fiddle with in between tasks. Beyond polite offers to help you handle the new challenging environment, Solomon was not planning on prying further. Then the surprises begun to queue one after another. To think that you had barely learned your way around and somehow still forged a contract with one of the devilish siblings. Then another. And another. Fascination crept its way in and the greatest sorcerer found himself begging to learn more about the mysterious (Y/N).

Naturally such fascination should’ve had an intellectual grounding and nothing more. What is it about you that has caused such a ruckus across RAD? All he needed was an answer. Yet he discovered much too late how embarrassingly involved he’d become. Childishly clutching his D.D.D. in the middle of the night, wondering if you’ve already fallen asleep, and grinning when the screen lit up with a response from you. Cancelling all plans the instant you’d ask - casually - if he wanted to join you after class to check out a new café. No, of course he had nothing else to do. Yes, it’s definitely a lucky coincidence that he’s always available when you want to hang out with him.

Once he accepted he was madly in love with you, he began fretting over all possible obstacles. The demon brothers, life after RAD. He’d never engaged much with other humans and his charisma only covered superficial pleasantries. How was he to properly convey that he’s - mildly put - obsessed with you to the point where rejection won’t be taken lightly? Uh oh. Closer to a threat than a confession. Thankfully the Heavens were gracious and you immediately returned his affections. No need for potions or hexes (not that he would’ve…he had them prepared just in case). He remembers it to this day, years after, the wide, innocent smile that you so generously bestowed upon him. Almost like a premonition, he knew you’d be the person to marry. Something he never considered in his long, lonely life.

You lazily lift your hand and admire the ring again. Solomon is quite clumsy and forgetful, but he goes all out for the things that matter. The proposal had been planned to a dizzying amount of detail and you couldn’t believe how much thought he put into it, with many aspects you otherwise assumed he’d forget or omit. Yet staring at the intricately carved band adorning your finger now, you can’t help the pang of melancholy blooming in your chest. Solomon lifts his gaze from the book he’s reading, sensing your discomfort. “Something bothering you?” He inquires with a hint of worry in his voice. “What happens after the wedding?” You demand, turning to face him. “Oh my. I personally prefer to focus on the present.” He answers with a chuckle. “Sure, because you don’t have to worry about your future. It’s mine that will end at some point.” His eyes widen and his hands are suddenly cold. He’s been so entranced by your company that he didn’t even entertain the idea of a potential end to it. He almost strokes his cheek to soothe the hard slap of your words, leaving him in a frightened stupor.

Oh no. No, no, no. Within the blink of an eye he finds himself standing before the alchemy shelves, rattling the bottles for the right ingredients. You didn’t even need to mutter a word. He knew exactly what you’re thinking of. How shameful of him to have caused you this distress in the first place. You’re young, and time for him has lost its human meaning, so your mortality hadn’t crossed his mind this entire time. He would’ve found a solution for it later, most certainly, but he didn’t expect this postponement to make you so anxious. His lips are quivering and his slender fingers are visibly trembling. Partly from the fear of almost failing you as your future husband, partly from the excitement of what’s about to come. He always imagined there’d be nothing more beautiful and precious to witness than you in your wedding attire as you tie the knot. But now? Oh, how ravishingly tempting and seducing, the fact that he can listen to the mundanely repeated words of “Til death do us part” and stare down its meaning until there’s nothing left of it. Not quite. Not for you two. The veil will be lifted and your face will radiate eternity.

After all, nothing will stand between him and his fated soulmate. What’s death to a wizard of his caliber?

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #yandere obey me #solomon x reader #obey me solomon #solomon x mc #yandere headcanons #yandere x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader

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princesssmars · 5 months ago

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winter wonders.

some abby anderson thoughts tied to holly jolly!

wc : 2.342

contains : fluff. wlw relationship. some nsfw i mean its me. oral sex r!receiving. mentions of past abby and owen. college hockey abby and skier reader again.

a/n : this scenario has infested my brain i wont move on! and its embarrassing how i started this in febuary but its december again soooo a+ procrastination?

palestine : tlou2 + palestine , how to help <3 enjoy!

abby is such a lover girl and she shows it constantly. i showed it in the full fic but one of the sweetest ways she shows affection is feeding people and taking care of their wellbeing.

text her that you're exhausted after class? she's making a quick meal and giving you cuddles on the couch. if anything is bothering you she is doing whatever she can to make it better.

and as much as abs loveees to take care of you, to the point where you think it's ingrained into her very being, she also loves to be babied and taken care of! the first time you sew her a stocking for christmas when you were snowed in at the dorms she cried for an hour.

i just know she loves it when you're physically affectionate as well. she finds it so charming and silly how when she tries to press a sloppy kiss to your cheek in a cafe you'll jerk back like you've been burned, not wanting to be seen as a sap, but behind closed doors you're alll over her.

pressing gentle kisses to her fingertips when you're both reading before bed. gently massaging her thighs after she went too hard at practice or in the rink. once you two had been invited to a movie night with the crew, and after she volunteered to make the popcorn she came into the living room to see no spots left. she was prepared to take her spot on the floor, but you had gotten one of the three couches to yourself because of your own leg injury on the slopes. before she could even crouch you tugged her over to you, her waist between your legs as you held her from behind. jordan was probably calling her whipped for how she melted into you, eyes fluttering as you brushed your fingers through her hair. she didn't really care. for now.

feel like she tries so hard to maintain good communication in all of her relationships. she's had friendships crack and break because of rumors and miscommunication and she wants to keep everyone she's close to around for a long time. she tells you once she learned it because of family therapy she did when her dad adopted her siblings yara and lev, who you sadly missed during your shared thanksgiving. you think it's adorable how she shows so much love for her family, constantly talking in her family group chat and sharing stories about her day with her little sister and brother.

didn't delve too much into it but being abby's new years eve kiss... she takes it very seriously. if you have to use the bathroom you better hold it because she is gonna bring in this new chapter of her life and she wants you to be there as long and as closely as you can be <3333

and you just know she is so so so good on valentines. yes she does get your flowers delivered while you're out and about during class or at your part-time. probably has a corny little card attached saying 'snow secret ice crazy about you'. almost so cute it makes you want to vomit. in a cute way!

if you want to go all out? say no more. she is booking you an entire day of romantic activities and spoiling you to your heart's content. but all i can imagine is having a nice and intimate dinner in a cozy little restaurant. cuddled up inside the booth as she admires you like you're an angel that's come into her life.

get her some chocolate-covered strawberries and she will swoon. but get both of you custom engraved bracelets with your initials? you aren't leaving the house for a week. have fun.

so not being original here but i def feel like abby is studying medicine. maybe not neuroscience like her dad, her hands aren't the best after so many hits and falls on the ice. but i love the headcanon of her going into the subfields of muscles or sports medicine. maybe even pediatrics because we all know she'd be the best with kids. she wants to pursue hockey full time, but she won't let it get in the way of her academics.

speaking of kids...

abby always says she's known since your first date she was gonna marry you. you would always roll your eyes and tell her to shush with a barely contained smile, but you both know a part of her isn't joking. there aren't words i can think of to say how in love she is with you, someone so similar but so different that she gets excited just at the thought of growing older together with.

she doesn't think there will ever be a dull day when she sees you. she'd take every mood swing, every petty fight, and every bit of insecurity if it meant she could just wake up and see you every morning. but she knows it's early, you're both still young and haven't ever started your careers yet. on your birthday, after taking you to a beautifully planned surprise party, she stands you in front of your mirror and presents you with your gift. its a necklace, simple yet intricate with two interloping hearts. you don't say anything, and she doesn't say anything, but your hearts swell and she hugs you tightly from behind.

once she makes sure you're okay with holiday activities trust she will keep the two of you busy all of december. she runs over her and mannys christmas decorations like a soldier, trust she will be up to date on any new trending decor items that pop up in the nearest hobby lobby or home goods store. she would absolutely love to go to a winter market and buy some gifts for her family and friends, picking up and admiring any little vintage trinket she can find.

and i just now she’s a christmas movie fanatic. dedicates a whole weekend in december for the two of you (or the whole group!) to get some hot chocolate, bundle up under the covers and watch holiday themed movies until you can’t take it anymore.

(feel like she’d be such a traditionalist about it though. it takes a heap of convincing from you and manny to let her put die hard in the movie rotation.)

but abby can be such a chill (haha) person. when you first met her you thought she was a cocky piece of shit, but over time she showed you how understanding and calm she could be. she doesn't like getting angry at people during the day, preferring to let out her anger during hockey games. but trust if someone is being a dick to one of her friends or you, she will put them in their place.

after

she is really good at ice skating. which sounds silly because duh, she plays hockey. but one day you watch a youtube video about figure skaters switching places with hockey players and you ask her to see if she could do some of the moves. she's a big girl but also insanely quick, and when she does a lutz on the first try you're more than shocked.

but also not! because abby is nothing but persistent. which is why when she asked you to teach her how to ski you thought any higher power up there was laughing at and testing you. at that point it had been months since you restarted your training with your father. it was hard, balancing your life with working out and spending hours every week practicing on the local fake slopes, but it was thrilling to be doing it because you wanted to do it. and thankfully your injury was basically gone.

(although sometimes you would fake like it was paining you so abby would set you on the bed and massage and take care of you. but who wouldn't do that?)

but when abby asked you to teach her you were nervous. not because you doubt your ability, hell no, just the opposite. nora had come along to one of your sessions, and when a young fan came up to you to ask for tips, all a tired and overworked you could say was "just be good at it." ever since she had teased you, throwing the worst joke you'd ever heard and saying you were going to turn into your dad. you didn’t talk to her for four days after that.

but you decide to give your girlfriend a chance. you warn her ahead of time that because of your dads teaching style growing up, you wouldn’t be too perceptive, and her size might make her momentum gain too quickly. but again, your girl was nothing if not persistent, listening to your words and placing a kiss on your cheek with an “i got this.”

she did not. she did at first, easing down the short slope with the caution of a giant baby deer, and doing a victory pump the first time she made it down the bunny slope while nearly tripping. things were good!

until jordan, sweet, stupid jordan made some bet that abby couldn’t ski down the intermediate slope for a video to send to her teammates. and like a moth to a flame, she got up the slope as fast as she could and tried her very best, before falling on her face halfway through. she wasn’t too badly hurt, laughing at the way you fussed over the small cut on her cheek.

this wasn’t the first time you witnessed some of abby's athletic determination. you wouldn't lie and say it hadn't afflicted you sometimes, able to recall the multiple times you and your girlfriend had made bets about who could do the most reps in the gym or run up the stairs quicker. it was all sunshine and rainbows until one misplaced pencil on some stairs led to you tripping into her and the both of you landing in a heap of limbs at the bottom of the stairs. you are more than glad that no one else was in the hall at that time.

not to say her over-achieving nature was all bad. there were definitely quite a few times that her aggressive behavior on the ice when her teammates showed premature defeat for an opposing team made you a little hot and bothered in your seat, eyes tracked on her body as she pushed past opponents like a bullet train.

and it is more than helpful in bed. one weekend you’d returned to your own apartment in a shitty mood from classes and skiing problems, ready to just eat some junk and rest in bed for two days straight. but of course, as soon as you texted your plans to your girlfriend she was over at your place in not even fifteen minutes. she had plenty of snacks and your favorite sweatshirt of hers to wear. but she could tell after a while into watching a movie you were still in a pissy mood, so she decided to help you relax in another way.

unfortunately, your sour mood was too strong as you’d yet to reach your peak after twenty minutes with abby in between your legs. it really was a shame, she looked so pretty when she was concentrated down there. you gently push at her forehead and lament that it’s no use, you're somehow too aggravated to have an orgasm.

your palm gently pushes at her forehead until she’s hovering over your cunt, a slight tingle running up your body when you see her blissed-out face and slick-covered mouth.

“abs, it’s just not gonna happen tonight. I'm way too stressed out.”

her eyes scan your face before her brows do that thing - the furrow she does when she gets an idea in her head that she just has to see through.

“just let me try for a little while longer, okay baby?”

and god, you couldn't say no to her when she looked like that and you were so pent up. you give her a small nod and watch as she rushes off the bed to the bottom of your bedstand to grab an old vibrator deep in one of the drawers.

“how’d you know where i hid that?” your voice is breathless as you watch her resettle back between your legs, turning on the vibe with a small smile on her face.

“because i know you. besides, need to know where to get things in case of emergency.”

you were going to laugh but then she’s immediately attaching the vibrator to your clit at the highest setting, a strong hand holding down your hips that buck up into the sensation and gripping your waist when you try to run from it.

let's just say when the night ends you are officially destressed.

uhhh back to. winter!

really think she’s in her element during this season. she’s in the huddle of her hockey season, gets to wear all of her favorite sweatshirts and hoodies and take long walks through the city as the snow ghosts over her face.

and just like i said earlier once she realizes you’re okay with the festive stuff? get ready for winter-themed dates.

one of your new favorite memories with her is definitely sitting on a plush blanket on the floor near her balcony door, the gentle downpour of snow a backdrop to your mini picnic date as you make s’mores and treats with an electric tabletop and share stories and kisses with wine-stained lips <3

abrupt ending but im trying to finish off things just lying in my drafts lolll uhh happy holidays yippee!

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby #tlou #abby x reader #hockey!abby #skier!reader #hockey!abby x reader

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saphiccarma · 5 months ago

Note

Can I request a Rio x Reader one shot where Reader gets hurt during her trial and Rio takes care of her afterwards ? Just some sweet hurt/ comfort 😭

- Did you get enough love, my little dove?

Relationships: Rio Vidal x Reader

Summary: After Alice's trial, comes yours. You weren't prepared to deal with past memories of pain.

Warnings: Violence. Angst. Fluff

A/N: I'm sorry that the requests are taking so long for me to get through! I promise I'm working on them.

The New Moon was high in the sky, its light shining down through the trees. You meandered at the back of the group, Rio lingering next to you, her hand brushing against yours, soft and gentle. Rio wasn't often a kind person, often preferring to hide her care behind teasing remarks, but when she caught sight of the moon in the sky she knew who's trial it would be.

The coven approached a little cabin that stood there, bright grass blooming around it and flowers blossoming in the front. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight of the familiar building, your steps halting. Rio glanced back at you, a brow raised in a challenge, and your pride flared. You huffed before moving forward and marching towards the house.

"Who's trial is this?" Teen asked, examining the door that was locked. It had runes carved onto the front; ones meticulously carved out after days of work. You remember working them onto the door by hand, a project you devoted yourself to for days. You had carved runes all over the walls of the house, preventing other witches from using their magic, but the runes on the door were for a special reason alone.

Agatha hummed as she examined the runes before turning back to you with an expectant brow. The witch had visited you once while you lived here, searching for another gullible victim before moving on. You stepped up to the house, muttering a small spell and pressed your hand up to the door. The runes glowed a soft blue before it opened with a click. Jen muttered something to Alice behind you.

The coven entered the door and the minute they did, everyone disappeared. It seems this was a trial meant for you alone. While it struck you as odd, since the Road was intended for the coven, you let it slide. You scanned your old house, taking it in. The fireplace was lit with a few logs burning inside it. A book was set on the table in the center of the room, it's cover from having read it over and over.

You picked it up, reading over the pages as a soft smile crossed your face - peace washing over you. It was a book your mother had read to you as a child, an old book, and you could still hear her soft words as she stroked your hair. You didn't have the exact copy, it had been burned by witch hunters years ago, but this was close enough.

Just as you were about to settle on the couch, lost in the world of the book, the door burst open, shouts filling the room. You leapt up, hands poised to fight as you caught sight of familiar faces. Men, with masks on their face, and knives in their hands. Modern witch hunters. No guns, guns were too loud, too avoidable with magic. Backing up, your hands pressed into the wall. Their eyes were alight with sinister intent.

You glanced down at your hands as blue magic glowed, but also noticed that you were devoid of the scars you had received many years ago. The men approached, slowly, cornering you, and then one lunged. The minute he lunged, you copied your movements from the past, not learning from your mistakes, and tried to blast him. He flew back, hitting the wall, slumped and lifeless. It was one of the only times you had taken a life.

Even if you knew it happened, you stared horrified at his hollowed chest. You magic had created the gaping whole that tore all the way through him, burnt so that no blood could come out. It was a horrifying sight, one you would never get used to, no matter how many times you had killed.

While you were stunned another one of the men lunged, his hands securing a rope around yours.

Your magic was incapacitated.

You fought as he grabbed your wrists, hauling you close to the fire. Memories of the first time this happened were seared into your brain, but there was nothing you could do. No matter how hard you thrashed, no matter how much you kicked and screamed. Even as you cried for Rio, for anyone in the coven, it did nothing. The man pulled you down to the ground and so close to the fire that the heat licked your skin.

Taking a hold of your forearms, the witch hunter shoved your hands into fire. You clenched your teeth as it burned your fingers, refusing to let the pain escaped in the form of screams.

"You use these hands to hurt so many people, don't you?" he snarled into your ear, the words cutting deep into your chest. And before you had time to process them, there was a cold metal pressed against your back as the hem of your shirt was lifted up.

You knew what was coming. The blade pressed into your skin as you hands began to go numb into the fire. Words were carved into your back, painful and slow and tedious. Before he could finish both of the men were torn away. Rio had thrown one of them into the wall with Teen and Agatha tearing the other away from you.

Rio rushed forward after killing the man swiftly with her knife, rushing forward towards you. You scrambled back, wrists held tight to your chest and eyes frantically scanning the area. Pausing, Rio took in your state, and her face softened.

"My love," she cooed, crouching down and reaching out, but not touching, "It's Rio."

Your eyes met hers, and although it took you a moment to recognize her, you threw yourself at her, regardless of the pain, clinging to her desperately. With numb fingers, you sobbed into her shirt - hardly noticing that the back door slid open, revealing the road. Teen and Agatha stood away, the latter eyeing you with an odd mix of disdain and pity.

"Sweetheart, we have to leave." Rio gently helped you up, ignoring your whimper of pain and guided you out the door and onto the road once more. Once that was done your wounds vanished, disappearing completely.

You nearly sobbed in relief, until you noticed the scars still lingered. Some part of you had hoped they would be gone. Teen and Alice tried to approach you. He reached his hand out to touch your arm, a thing meant to be comforting, but Rio had her knife out as you flinched.

"Touch her and I will fucking kill you." She snarled, pulling you close, ignoring Agatha's scoff and Jen's annoyed sound. Rio dragged the two of you further away and set you down on the ground, gently sitting next to you.

You curled into her, resting your head on her lap as she stroked her hands through your hair. It felt divine to have her fingers tracing your jaw and slipping up and down your neck. Sighing, you pushed back into her stomach so that your face was buried. Her outfit allowed for skin-to-skin contact, and her cold skin was a nice contrast to the heat of the fire you had felt moments ago. Rio chuckled slightly, her fingers pausing, and she bent down to give place a tender kiss onto your head.

You were shaking in her gentle hold, eyes trained forward as you tried to push away the dull phantom pain and the lingering memories that danced beneath your eyes. Rio's fingers were soothing as they stroked your chin. A steady movement - up and down, tracing back up into your hair before going back down.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," she whispered. You shook your head into her stomach, non-verbally telling her it wasn't her fault. Slowly, your body stopped shaking, but you still clung to her desperately. Her presence was grounding. She made you feel safe even though you felt like witch hunters would pop around the corner and attack you.

The two of you sat there in silence for a while, your head pressed into her stomach while she soothed your worried mind.

"You won't ever leave, right?" Your words were broken and raw, vulnerability at its truest form. At least for you.

Rio's hands froze in your hair, but she leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple, "Never."

#rio vidal x reader #rio vidal x you

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hishumanbellestories · 1 month ago

Text

The argument.

Part one: click here. Hi guys! Here is the requested sequel of the first part. I changed the narration type and included both Alastor's and the reader's pov. I hope you like it! Happy reading! ☺♥

The Monster in the Mirror.

She should not have forgiven me.

She should not have smiled.

She should not have touched me.

Yet, she had.

And now I was unraveling.

I had always thought myself in control, always thought I could shape my world like a master puppeteer, pulling the strings, setting the stage.

But this? This was chaos.

This was her hands on mine, warm and real. This was the way she had held me, the way her fingers had clutched my coat as if she were afraid I would disappear.

And the worst part?

I had let her.

I had stood there, in the circle of her arms, and I had felt.

Felt her heart racing against mine. Felt the warmth of her breath as she whispered my name. Felt—for the first time in decades—human.

And I hated it.

I hated how much I wanted it.

So I did what I always did: I ran.

The shadows of my room swallowed me whole.

My old radio crackled in the corner, filling the air with static, but it could not drown out the noise in my head.

I paced.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

The monster in the mirror watched me, its grin wide, sharp, and mocking.

I hated him.

I hated what he had become.

A demon. A killer. A thing of hunger and cruelty and sin.

And yet—she had looked at me as if I was more.

She had touched me as if I was worthy.

I let out a sharp, bitter laugh, raking my hands through my hair.

“Foolish girl,” I muttered. “Foolish, foolish girl.”

But the words rang hollow, because the truth was…

She wasn’t the fool.

I was.

For letting her get close. For letting myself believe. For daring—for even a second—to imagine a world where I could be hers.

I slammed my fists against the desk, breath ragged.

I had done too much. I had taken too many lives, played too many games.

I was a monster.

And monsters do not get to be loved.

A sick, sharp laugh clawed its way out of my throat.

She should be afraid of me.

She should have left, but she hadn’t, and that was my greatest torment.

Because no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise…

I didn’t want her to.

The Quiet Ruin of Me - Alastor's pov.

It started as a flicker. A brief, insidious thing that slithered through my mind the moment she turned her back on me. I watched her walk away, and something sharp and unfamiliar coiled in my chest.

I had expected anger. Expected to feel that familiar thrill of conflict, of another game well played, another opponent bested in a verbal spar. That was how these things went, wasn’t it? A little tension, a little sharpness, a little storm—only to break into laughter later, as if none of it mattered.

But this time, she didn’t look back.

And when she was gone, something in me snapped.

It was quiet at first. A strange, creeping sensation at the edges of my consciousness. I ignored it, of course—I had long since mastered the art of burying anything even remotely troublesome. It was a simple thing, truly. A matter of habit.

But habits, I have learned, are no match for grief.

Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it?

Not irritation. Not even the thrill of a game lost too soon.

Loss.

A ridiculous notion. Utterly absurd.

And yet...

I did what I do best. I smiled. I laughed. I turned away. I let her absence settle into my bones like a dull, aching hum and convinced myself it was nothing more than an inconvenience.

Then the days stretched on.

And that quiet ache became a roar.

I stayed away. Not just from her, but from everyone. It was easier that way. No need for questions, no need for well-meaning concern from people who barely understood the first thing about me. Charlie’s gentle insistence, Angel’s sharp-edged worry—I saw it, felt it. But none of it mattered.

None of it mattered, because I had already begun to unravel.

I became a ghost in my own home, lingering at the edges, watching from the corners of rooms I no longer felt welcome in. Not because of anything she had said—no, she hadn’t even told me to go.

But I had seen it in her eyes: that hurt. That disappointment.

That wound I had carved into her with careless words, words that should have meant nothing but had somehow sliced through her like a blade.

And now—now she was everywhere.

I heard her voice in empty hallways. Saw the flicker of her silhouette at the edges of my vision. I would catch myself turning, expecting to see her, only to be met with the crushing weight of silence.

She haunted me.

Or perhaps—perhaps I was the one haunting her.

I found myself here, in this empty room, my fingers resting on the radio, feeling the familiar ridges of the dials beneath my touch. It was a comfort, in a way. Something tangible. Something real.

Unlike this.

Unlike her.

Unlike whatever this sickness was that had taken root inside me.

Love.

The word itself was a curse. A grotesque, hideous little thing that curled in my throat like bile.

Love was attachment. Love was weakness. Love was a thing meant for those who still had the capacity to dream of happy endings.

Not for me.

Not for something like me.

And yet…

The moment I lost her, I understood.

It had already been too late.

And that was the cruelest part of all.

I had felt alive with her.

And now, I was nothing but ruin.

So when I heard the soft sound of footsteps behind me—when I felt that familiar pull, that electric awareness of her—I did not turn.

Because if I did, I would shatter.

And I could not let her see the wreckage of me.

The Devil you love - Alastor's pov.

I had made my decision.

I would prove it to her.

She had to see—truly see—what I was.

No charming smiles. No laughter to soften the edges. No carefully curated mask of civility.

I would peel back the layers.

I would show her the truth of me, the darkness that pulsed beneath my skin, the hunger, the violence, the thing that should have repulsed her.

And then—then she would leave.

She would have no choice.

It began in the small ways: a whisper in the halls when no one was there; a shadow slithering just at the corner of her vision; a voice on the radio that should not have been playing.

She had called my name once—soft, hesitant.

I had not answered.

But oh, how I had watched.

I watched as she searched the empty corridors, as her brow furrowed, as she bit her lip in thought. As she refused to fear.

So I tried harder.

The hotel grew colder at night. The walls creaked with voices that did not belong. The lights flickered, bathing the halls in an eerie glow.

And then, finally—finally—I let her see.

I made sure she was there when I dealt with an intruder.

Some foolish soul had wandered too close, seeking deals with the devil, thinking they could outwit me.

How delightful.

How tragic.

I let the shadows stretch long as I stood before the poor wretch, my grin carved sharp, my voice a melody of doom.

And then, I played.

My laughter was the only mercy I offered as I tore him apart, limb from limb, his screams swallowed by the static of my radio.

And she was watching… I made sure of it.

She stood at the end of the hall, frozen in place, eyes wide.

There it was—she saw me now.

Not the grinning fool. Not the trickster. Not the teasing presence at her side.

She saw the thing that lurked beneath:

The monster.

The demon.

The truth.

I turned my head, meeting her gaze across the bloodstained floor, expecting—no, needing—to see the fear, the horror, the realization that she had been a fool to care for me.

But instead…

She stepped forward.

One step.

Then another.

No.

No...

No. NO. NO!

She should have run.

She should have screamed.

She should have done anything but this!

But there she stood, unwavering, her breath coming in uneven gasps, her fingers trembling—not with fear, but with something else.

Something raw. Something aching.

“Alastor,” she whispered, my name slipping from her lips as if she were praying, as if she were praying to ME.

I felt it then.

The weight of it.

The way it wrapped around me, pulling me down, dragging me into the very thing I was fighting to escape.

Her love. Her care for me.

It was suffocating.

It was terrifying.

It was undoing me.

I took a step back.

“No,” I rasped, my voice fraying at the edges, my fingers clenching into fists.

She was supposed to fear me.

She was supposed to hate me.

Not look at me like this.

Not with understanding.

Not with love.

I turned on my heel and disappeared into the shadows, my own heartbeat roaring in my ears.

Because if she would not leave…

Then I would have to do it for her.

The Death of Denial

I should have told her to leave.

I should have kept my back turned, let the distance between us remain untouched.

But I was weak.

She said my name, soft and uncertain, and it broke me.

I turned.

And there she was.

Standing in the doorway, bathed in the dim glow of the flickering light, looking at me as if I was something precious. As if I was something worth saving.

How cruel. How unspeakably cruel of her.

I laughed—sharp, brittle.

"Come to deliver your final judgment, my dear?"

She frowned, stepping closer. "Alastor."

That voice.

I had always loved the way she said my name. And now—now it hurt.

"You need to leave," I rasped. The words felt like broken glass in my throat. "You should—"

"Stop it."

She was right in front of me now, close enough that I could see every detail—every freckle, every flicker of emotion in her eyes.

God help me, I wanted to touch her.

I clenched my fists to keep from doing so.

"You're not okay," she whispered. "Stop pretending!"

I smiled, all teeth. "Of course I am, I'm not—"

She didn't flinch. Didn't waver.

"Then why are you avoiding me?! That argument was nothing to me. I care about you, Alastor… even too much."

Ah. There it was. The killing blow.

I inhaled sharply, something twisting deep inside my chest.

"Because," I murmured, voice shaking, "I am a coward."

Her brows furrowed, confusion flickering across her face.

"Because I have spent decades laughing in the face of love. Decades mocking it, destroying it, drowning it in blood and sound and static. Because I believed myself to be above it—untouchable, incorruptible."

I let out a breathless, humorless laugh.

"And then," I whispered, "you walked into my life."

She gasped softly.

"You, with your insufferable kindness. Your stubbornness. Your maddening way of seeing me. You, who should have run screaming the moment you realized what I was."

I took a step closer, closing the distance between us, my voice dropping to a ragged whisper.

"But you didn't.You stayed. And I—" my breath hitched. "I let myself believe, for one foolish, unforgivable moment, that I could have you."

Her lips parted, but no words came.

I reached up, trembling fingers brushing just barely against her cheek. "And then you walked away."

She swallowed hard. "Because you hurt me."

I shut my eyes, exhaling shakily. "I know."

Silence.

And then, softer now, "why, Alastor? Why did you hurt me?"

My hands shook.

"Because," I whispered, my voice breaking, "I fell in love... with you".

The words destroyed me.

And the silence that followed killed me.

I dared to look at her then, terrified of what I would see.

But she was crying.

Soft, silent tears slipping down her cheeks.

And then—she smiled.

Not mocking. Not cruel.

Just… pure.

Hopeful.

And mine.

She reached up, her warm hands covering my own.

"You idiot," she whispered, laughing through her tears.

"You absolute, wonderful idiot."

I choked on a breath, and when she pulled me into her arms... I fell.

Fell into her warmth, her light, her impossible, terrifying love.

And for the first time in my miserable, wretched existence…

I let myself believe I could be loved.

No Turning Back - reader's pov.

I should have been afraid.

After everything he had shown me—after the violence, the shadows, the terrible beauty of what he truly was—I should have felt something other than this unbearable, aching pull toward him.

But I wasn’t afraid. I could never be afraid of him...

Even now, as I found him in the dimly lit room, his back turned to me, his fingers ghosting over the dials of his radio, I only felt the same thing I had always felt with him.

Longing. Longing to be his friend. Longing to be close to him.

The air was heavy between us, thick with unspoken words, unacknowledged truths.

I took a breath, steadying myself.

“Alastor.”

His shoulders tensed at my voice, his fingers tightening minutely around the radio dial.

“You don’t frighten easily, do you?” he said, his tone light, but so, so tired.

I took a step forward. “I think you’re the one who’s afraid.”

Silence.

A sharp inhale.

Then, at last, he turned to face me.

And the moment I saw his eyes, my breath caught in my throat.

He looked… lost.

Like a man standing at the edge of a cliff, staring down at oblivion.

"You saw what I am," he murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper. "And yet, you are here."

The weight of that statement settled between us, thick and suffocating.

I met his gaze, my heart pounding. "You think I don’t know what you are? Alastor, I’ve always known! You're a cannibal, a murderer! But I'm here in hell too!"

A shudder ran through him.

He looked at me then, truly looked at me, and I saw it—the moment his world cracked, the moment his carefully built walls collapsed around him.

"You shouldn’t," he said, a thread of desperation lacing his voice. "You shouldn’t care for me."

And yet, I do.

I swallowed, stepping closer, my fingers trembling as they reached out—hesitant, unsure—until they brushed against his hand.

He flinched.

But he didn’t pull away.

Instead, he snatched my wrist, dragging me close, so close that I could feel his breath ghosting over my lips, sharp and uneven.

I should have been afraid.

But all I felt was heat.

A wild, shattering heat that had nothing to do with Hell.

His grip was firm, his hands large and unyielding, and yet—he held me like he was afraid I might break.

"This is a mistake," he murmured, his voice barely more than a breath.

I exhaled shakily, my fingers tightening around his own.

"If it is," I whispered, "then let us make it together."

His breath hitched.

And then—

He kissed me.

It was not gentle.

It was devastating.

A collision of fury and need, of desperate hunger and aching restraint.

His lips crashed against mine, stealing the breath from my lungs, drinking in every inch of me as if he had been starving for this—for me.

His hands tangled into my hair, gripping me like he was drowning, like I was the only thing keeping him tethered to this world.

And I melted.

I clung to him, my fingers digging into his back, my body pressing into his as if I could mold myself to him, as if I could tell him with every touch, every gasp, every trembling breath—

I am yours, Alastor.

A shudder ran through him, a broken sound escaping his throat, and for a fleeting moment, I felt it—his surrender.

The great and terrible Alastor, the Radio Demon, who had spent his existence untouchable, untamed—had finally given in.

And I knew, as his arms tightened around me, as his lips pressed deeper, more desperate, more real—there would be no turning back.

No Turning Back - Alastor's pov.

I ran.

I ran from her, from the unbearable tenderness in her eyes, from the truth I had tried so desperately to deny.

But I could not escape it.

Her presence lingered like a melody I couldn’t silence, a haunting refrain playing through my mind, pulling me back, pulling me home.

Home.

What a ridiculous notion.

I was not meant for such things.

And yet—

She would not leave me be.

Even now, as I stood in the hollow dark of my favorite, long-abandoned room, trying to choke down this unbearable thing clawing at my insides, I could hear her footsteps.

Soft. Hesitant, but determined.

I did not turn when she entered.

“Alastor,” she said, her voice quiet, gentle. Too gentle.

I laughed—because laughter was all I had left.

“You don’t frighten easily, do you?”

She took another step closer.

“I think you’re the one who’s afraid,” she murmured.

The words cut deep. Too deep.

I inhaled sharply, my fingers curling against the old wooden radio.

My lifeline. My tether. My prison.

“You saw what I am,” I said, my voice steady, yet hollow.

“And still, you are here.”

A beat of silence.

Then—

“You think I don’t know what you are?” she whispered. “Alastor, I’ve always known! You're a cannibal, a murderer! But I'm here in hell too!"”

The room tilted.

The breath I didn’t need hitched in my throat.

She always knew?

No—no, that was impossible.

I turned at last, my movements slow, deliberate.

I had to see her face.

And there she was—standing before me, bathed in the dim glow of the radio’s soft red light, watching me with that maddening, unshakable devotion.

I had torn apart a man in front of her. I had shrouded myself in shadow, wrapped my hands in blood and ruin. I had tried to scare her away.

And yet—she looked at me as if none of it mattered.

As if I were more than the monster I had shown her.

And that—that was the most terrifying thing of all.

“You shouldn’t,” I rasped. “You shouldn’t care for me.”

She swallowed, her throat bobbing, but she didn’t look away.

“And yet, I do.”

No.

No, no, no, no—

This was not how this was supposed to go.

She was supposed to hate me.

She was supposed to run.

She was supposed to leave me in this eternal abyss.

But instead—instead, she reached for me.

A trembling hand, brushing against mine.

Fingers ghosting over my knuckles.

And I broke.

With a sharp breath, I snatched her wrist, pulling her close—too close.

Her gasp was soft, a whisper of sound, her breath warm against my lips.

I should have let go.

I should have walked away.

But she was so close, and I—I was starving.

Starving for her warmth. For her touch. For something real.

I bent my head, my lips barely brushing hers, my resolve hanging by a thread.

“This is a mistake,” I breathed.

She shivered—but didn’t pull away.

“If it is,” she whispered, “then let us make it together.”

God help me!!!

I crashed into her.

The first touch of her lips sent a violent shudder through me, a force unlike anything I had ever known. Fury and longing, agony and bliss.

I devoured her.

I poured everything into it—every ounce of my torment, my need, my devastation.

Her fingers tangled into my hair, holding onto me as if she knew—as if she knew I was unraveling.

And I was.

I was coming undone beneath her hands, melting into the warmth I had denied myself for so long.

I kissed her like I was drowning. Like she was the first taste of life after an eternity in the dark. Like I could never have enough.

And for the first time, I understood—

I would never be free of her.

I didn’t want to be.

Because this—this was no mistake.

This was the only thing that had ever been real.

I am hers.

taglist: @thatbadassauthor

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sanjisblackasswife · 2 years ago

Note

Could you do the monster trio helping you take out your braids?

(I’m taking mine out rn 😭😭)

🌚yes.

𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕆𝕦𝕥 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕕𝕤

Blk!Fem Reader

Sanji, Zoro, Luffy

CW: None! Fluff

Luffy

Like I said before in my first hc of them, he panics seeing you take out fake hair from your hair—

“ARE YOU BALDING”

“What—“

Mf thinks its the end for you if you dont explain.

Please do not give him scissors.

Mf will cut off your hair to the ROOTTTT

Luffy definitely enjoys playing in the fake hair when you take them out and puts it on his head

“I have a wig on.😄”

You: 🧍🏾‍♀️

Luffy: 🌚

Luffy usually gets bored easily but seeing your natural hair for the first time had him so in love with you and he didn’t even realize its been half a day since yall started on your hair. lmao

He loves your curly hair! He definitely loves smelling it after your wash and blow try it

Zoro

Acts like he doesn’t care but the moment you get up for a second he asks where youre going.

“To get my mirror I can’t see the ba—“

“Ill do it, sit down.”

So, now youre here, in between Zoro’s legs on the comfy bed as he takes out your braids

After tangling one you teach him one time how to detangle and suddenly becomes a pro???

Zoro: So if your hair stops here i can cut the rest off right?

“Yeah!”

…

….

“Put your fucking sword down and use the scissors”

Zoro: IT WOULD BE FASTER-

The entire time was quiet with soft music playing in the back. Honestly, Zoro loved every second of it because it was something he had between just you and him. He loved this alone time between you both.

After every braid he takes out he scratches the area a little (because he learned from watching you do it and thinks that helps) and honestly it feels so good you may ask him to wash your hair

Sanji

Bro has his wash day the same days as you of course he is ganna take your braids out.

You’re pretty much assisting him because he’s so into it

His skilled hands knows how to unbraid your hair WITHOUT SCISSORS

it’s insane

“Sanji, have you ever taken out another girl braids before me?🤨”

“Wh— no ! No of course not you’re the first!”

YouBoostedHisEgoABit

Literally has yall favorite show playing, snacks, and drinks out and seats you comfortably between his legs.

He loves these moments with you because they feel so domestic, plus when you first asked him to he felt a new level of trust between you both since you never really allowed many people to see your natural hair.

He of course deep conditions your hair and even blow dries it.

Now, once you teach him how to cornrow you officially have your new personal stylist

MIND YOU—- he’s already taking notes on how to do so already.

HeLovesYouSm

#one piece #TimikosMonsterTrio #black reader #one piece headcanons #one piece x female reader #sanji #sanjionepiece #one piece x black!reader #sanji imagine #sanji x black reader #sanji x reader #x female reader #female reader #black foot sanji #one piece scenario #zoro headcanons #luffy #zoro hcs

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starrihan · 6 months ago

Text

Masquerade (Leehan Fic)

Plot -> Your parent's 25th wedding anniversary is coming up and to celebrate, they are hosting a masquerade ball at your manor. You still have to prepare and learn the dances for the ball, so how do you end up falling for your dance partner's servant?

Genre -> fluff, smut, renaissance AU, dialogue heavy, servant! Leehan x Lady! Reader, older brother! Taesan, lord! Sungho, afab! reader, kissing, fingering, piv sex, no protection (wrap it up!)

Warnings -> mentions of dead family members

Word Count -> 14,075

Notes: This is my first fic on here and I didn't expect it to be 14k words long 😭I proofread this like 3 times but its long so there may still be some mistakes. This is historically inaccurate, I only use noble titles that were prominent during the renaissance era. I took inspo from this song and a some inspo from Bridgerton. I hope you guys enjoy this~

-> Here's a link to all my other masterlists!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hiding behind a disguise, can you feel me watching you?”

Awoken by the bright rays of sunshine that flooded your room, you remembered how tired you were that you forgot to shut the blinds and draw in the curtains before falling asleep last night. With the masquerade ball, in celebration of your parent’s 25th wedding anniversary, coming up in just about a week, preparations were brutal.

This was the first masquerade ball that you would actually participate in. You’d attended many when you were younger, playing around with the other kids there that were your age but you were never expected to dance or had any role in them. Now that this ball was in celebration of your parents, your family, you were expected to be a great host. Not to mention that this was big for you, as wedding season was coming up. You had talked to your parents for a while about not wanting to be married so early so they never forced you, but being at that age, you knew that many families were looking to marry their sons.

Your father, Lord L/N, had accomplished so much in the short time that he was one, giving your family a huge name in the town. You were sought after by many families. This ball would be your formal introduction to the town as an adult and would garner many suitors for you. You shrugged off the thought for now and went to brush your teeth and bathe, getting yourself ready for the day.

You go downstairs and see a familiar figure sitting in the dining room, eating the breakfast that was prepared by the lovely maids that ran your parents’ manor. You take a seat across from him, grabbing a plate of freshly cut fruits.

“You woke up late, you know,” he says, chuckling.

You shoot him a mocking smile, taking a bite of an apple slice.

“We had a busy day yesterday. The tailor used the wrong measurements for my dress and now I have to wait 3 days before I can go back to pick it up. I’m stressed out about learning the dances since there’s only a week left before the ball and we’ve barely even started. My dance partner isn’t that good and I’m worried I won’t be good enough. Forgive me if I took an extra hour to sleep in,” you poured out to him.

Your brother, Dongmin, was older than you by just a year. He stood up from his chair and patted your head.

“It's gonna be okay Y/N. I’m taking you to practice later today at the Park residence. Their son, Sungho, is going to be your dance partner. I know he was interested in you so I arranged for his instructor to help you practice with him.”

“Thank you Dongmin. I’m sorry I’m so stressed. I appreciate you setting this up for me! I owe you one,” you smile up at him, getting up to ready for the practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’re taken to the Park residence, accompanied by Dongmin. Because he is your older brother, he sees you to all of your affairs since your father is always busy. And because he is your father’s son, he has to learn the roles of a lord should something happen to your father. Dongmin did, at one point, find someone who he had loved and wished to marry, but things fell through and he set aside his own feelings about marriage until he’s older, wanting to learn everything there is to know about lordship first.

Waiting for your arrival, the Duke and Duchess of the Park house wait outside. You greet them with a deep bow and courtesy of your dress. To their right, you spot their son, Sungho. You had seen him at previous balls throughout the years, but you guys had never formally met. ‘He’s really handsome,’ you thought to yourself, before turning to greet him as well.

“We meet again, Duke and Duchess. Thank you for having us,” Dongmin greets with a smile and a bow.

“What a pleasure it is to meet you, Duke and Duchess. It is an honor to be allowed here. Thank you for letting me practice here with your son,” you say.

They exchange smiles with each other before looking back at you and Dongmin. They formally allow you into their home and show you around.

A couple minutes into the tour Sungho says, “I can show them around and then take Lord Dongmin and Lady Y/N to the practice hall.” He smiles at the both of you before leading the tour himself.

He continues to show you guys around, occasionally talking about the history of the house and some specific details about the wallpaper and architectural workings of the house. You can’t help but be mesmerized at everything he is talking about. Finally, he takes you to the room that you’ll be practicing in. There seems to be a couple more people in the room making you sigh in relief that you weren’t the only one that needed practice.

“I have other matters to attend to. I will be taking my leave. Thank you again for letting Y/N practice here. I shall come to get her in a couple of hours,” Dongmin bows at Sungho before leaving, informing the Duke and Duchess of the arrangement.

You smile at your brother before he leaves, assuring him that you’ll be alright.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You step into the practice room and a seat. As you’re changing your shoes, you catch one of the servants in the room looking at you. He’s tall and lean, his almost shoulder length brown hair catching your eyes. He’s very handsome and he shoots you a small smile as he looks away. Your cheeks dust a faint pink before looking away from him, unsure of the feeling you just felt in your stomach.

The practice goes on and you’re constantly stepping on Sungho’s shoes. He lets out small chuckles whenever you do, never getting frustrated at you, which you appreciated. From the short time you’ve been practicing with him you could tell he was very sweet and gentle. He was able to guide you and keep you on track fairly well considering your efforts.

You’re given a short break from the practice in which you figure that you need to use the bathroom. You were okay to find it by yourself, but since this wasn’t your house, you look to enlist the help of Sungho. When you turn to look for him you realize he’s not in the room. You meet the eye of the same servant from earlier and he could sense that you needed some help. He makes his way over to you and bows,

“How can I be of assistance Lady Y/N?”

Your breath caught in your throat. He was, quite literally, breathtaking. And his voice was so deep and soothing. You almost forget that you needed help finding the bathroom. You bow back at him.

“Where is the restroom?”

Your voice comes out small at first, almost as if you’re too shy to talk to him. He stands in front of you while he directs you to the closest restroom that just so happened to be down the hall.

“I shall wait for you out here until you finish. Then I can take you back to the practice room. Please let me know if there is anything you may need.”

You enter the bathroom and try to calm yourself down. What was this feeling? Why was him talking to you making you feel this way? You wash your hands, touching up your makeup before stepping back to look at yourself in the mirror. After fixing your hair as well, you go back outside where you find the servant waiting for you.

“Thank you so much… uhm… What is your name sir?”

You ask, realizing that you never got his name. He’s about to speak when Sungho spots you from down the hall.

“Lady Y/N! So this is where you have been? I am sorry I left for a minute, I had to take care of something. Is everything alright?”

He looks at both of you and smiles.

“Yes, everything is alright. I was just taking Lady Y/N to the restroom. I insisted I wait for her so she does not get lost on the way back,” the tall man says while bowing at Sungho. “I apologize for not informing you beforehand.”

“Do not apologize, I wasn’t around for you to tell me. I’m glad that you took her and that she is okay. Shall we all head back to the practice room?”

And with that, you all head back, making small conversation on the way there. You walk behind Sungho and walk in line with the servant. His hand slightly brushes yours, to which you both apologize. He takes to walking behind you, forming a line. He doesn’t miss the slight blush adorning your cheeks after your hands brushed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the practice is over, you sit down on one of the sofas by the window. You sigh out a breath of relief and relax a bit, tired after the hours of dancing.

“For your first time practicing, you did a good job,” Sungho says, offering you water. You thank him and drink the water a little bit faster than what would be considered lady-like. “Thank you so much. For the water and the practice, thank you for everything.” You’re about to put the cup of water down on the floor when the servant from earlier walks up to you.

“Allow me,” he says, grabbing your cup and taking it away from you. Sungho doesn’t miss the way you look at him, staring for a bit too long for it to be normal. “Thank you,” you say to him now, not being able to look him in the eyes. He walks away without another word, bowing to you before he does.

As you get ready to leave, you receive word from Sungho that Dongmin can no longer come pick you up. You look at him, not knowing what to do now as you had no way back home.

“I can take her back. If you so let me, sir,” the servant chimes up. Having walked back with you and Sungho you realized that the tall male was Sungho’s personal servant.

“Could you please? I would do it myself but I have a lot of work to catch up on tonight.” He turns to face you, “Lady Y/N,” he reaches for your hand and plants the gentlest kiss on the back of it.

“I shall see you tomorrow for another practice session. Have a wonderful night m’lady,” he bows to you and you bow back. “Thank you again, I shall see you tomorrow.”

“Are you ready to go, lady Y/N?”

“Yes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After saying your goodbyes to the Duke and Duchess as well as everyone else in the home, you go outside to meet him.

“Forgive me for the carriage we have right now is a bit small.” He says apologetically. The carriage, while smaller than other ones, was beautifully crafted. One of the finest carriages you have ever seen. Its black body and gold fixtures, perfect for a sleek entry and getaway and the windows big enough to comfortably peer out of on long rides.

“It is quite magnificent. Not too small at all, just perfect,” you say softly looking at the carriage in awe. He gives you his hand to help you into the carriage before closing the door and securing the lock. He hops into the front and gets the horses ready to move.

“The ride back will take about 45 minutes,” he informs you. As the horses start to move you look out the window, thinking back on the things you have yet to do. With only 6 days left you realize that there’s still so much you have to learn when it comes to the dance. As well as learning the names of all your guests and picking up your dress and mask from the tailor’s…

“I’m sorry m’lady?”

A deep voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry! I seem to have gotten distracted by my thoughts. You were saying…?”

“Oh, no worries at all. I was only asking how you were feeling about all this? I heard it is the first masquerade ball that you’ll be attending as a hostess.”

“Well, if I'm being honest, I am quite nervous. Like you said, I am a hostess. There seems to be so many little things I must take care of throughout the night. Not to mention that I still am learning how to dance. I am very grateful for the Duke and Duchess letting me practice in their home, along with their son.” You feel a small weight lift off your shoulders, this being the first time you talked about your apprehensions towards the coming event with someone other than your brother.

“I was watching the practice, you seem to be learning fairly well. On par with the others also learning the dances. And Sungho is a good dancer, never nervous and he never falters. I heard he took interest in you, he has great taste.”

The last comment causing a small smile to form on your lips.

“He is very well-mannered and a fine man indeed. When I heard he took interest in me I was surprised. We had barely spoken in the past so him reaching out to my older brother was a shock. He is very handsome and indeed a gentleman.”

You couldn’t see it, but a slight frown had made it up to his face. He couldn’t figure out what caused him to have that reaction. He was happy for Sungho that he had found a potential wife, wasn’t he? He should be happy that someone was speaking about his lord in such a way.

The way you spoke about him could convince anyone that you have an attraction for him. But as much as he seemed so perfect, he hadn’t managed to make you feel anything other than a friendship towards him. It has only been a day but, if he was really interested in you, so much as to go as far as relaying his interest for you to your parents and older brother, surely he would have made his intentions more clear.

“Sungho is a fine gentleman, he would be lucky to have a lady like you, as you would be to have a lord like him.”

The rest of the carriage ride is spent exchanging small talk and a couple of laughs heard here and there. Once you arrive at your house, he steps out of the carriage and walks to your side and offers his hand to you. You take it, slowly stepping down, out of the carriage.

“Thank you so much for taking me back home… I still never got your name sir,” you say, remembering that last time you asked, Sungho had cut you off.

“Please, call me Donghyun. It was my pleasure bringing you home, Lady Y/N. Enjoy the rest of your night. I have been informed that I will come to get you in the morning.” He bows to you and bids you farewell, as you watch him ride off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It's magic that I’m lost in your spell, but you don’t even have a clue…”

The next few days follow the same routine. Donghyun picks you up and drops you off for the next couple of days when you need to practice. The conversations you guys shared were always light-hearted and casual, as you told him to drop honorifics since you found out you were the same age. There was a sense of familiarity you got when speaking to Donghyun, like he was the person that could listen to you talk forever and never get tired of hearing your stories.

There were sometimes conversations that got a little too deep, much more than you would discuss with a mere acquaintance or in this case, the servant of your maybe-future-husband. You had never really spent time with Sungho outside of dance practice. Sometimes he’d take you to the courtyard of his house during breaks and on days where you had more time before practices. But things felt more intimate with Donghyun and you felt that you could let your guard down more when talking to him.

You always knew he was staring at you specifically during the practices. Always coming up to you first before asking any of the other guests if they needed anything. At first, you thought it was because he was Sungho’s servant and by extension, yours as well. But you didn’t see him that way. You always treated him with as much grace as you would a lord, unlike how you’ve seen others treat servants.

What neither of you knew though, was that Sungho had picked up on the subtle glances you’d shoot towards Donghyun, or the obvious stares he would give you. The way he would come up to you first, not even him. Or the way that you’d shyly tell him if you needed anything, always trying to hide a small smile on your face whenever he’d walk away. As much as he wanted to ask you to go out with him and get to know each other more, he believed it would be best for him to just help you with dance for now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, you go to tailors with your mother and Dongmin. You hope that this will be the last time you have to go there for a while, praying that the dress and mask fit perfectly.

“How does this look? There was a lot of extra fabric I had to take in but I managed to size it without messing up the design,” the seamstress explained, looking at you for your approval.

You look in the mirror, marveled by the stunning shape and flow of the long, dark green dress. The beautiful off-the-shoulder dress enhancing your collarbones and complimenting your figure perfectly. The lace trimmings were exactly how you pictured in your head.

“It’s absolutely marvelous!” You exclaim. “This is just what I had in mind— even better in fact!” One thing about you, when you think something is perfect or well done, you become extra bubbly, contrary to your, usually, very calm demeanor.

Your mother and Dongmin both look at you in excitement, glad that you love the dress and that you had one less stressor to worry about.

“You look absolutely stunning darling. I’m sure Sungho will think so too,” your mother says, Dongmin agreeing with her. You couldn’t help but to think of what Donghyun would think of your dress if he ever saw it.

“My little sister, all grown up,” he exaggerates, “you look really beautiful. I’m happy you love your dress,” he says with the utmost sincerity. You’re beaming ear to ear, happy that everyone loves your dress.

“We’re gonna go pay for it upfront while you change back into your clothes. We’ll be waiting for you outside the carriage,” your mother says before walking away with your brother.

“You look magnificent. Like a princess.”

Your breath caught in your throat, making you speechless for a moment. You recognize the voice, turning around with a shy smile on your face.

“Donghyun! It’s lovely seeing you today! What brings you here?”

Today was a break from practicing. The tailors you went to were two towns away, making for a 6 hour carriage ride to and back. You didn’t expect to see Donghyun here, as normally he mentions to you on the carriage rides to the Park’s residence what duties he has for that day and the days following. He never once mentioned going to the tailors, especially not the one you went to considering there were a few in your town.

“I had to pick up some last minute items for Sungho. He’s been busy sorting his family affairs so he sent me here in his place,” he explained.

The truth is, Sungho knew you’d be here today. He didn’t really have anything that he needed but he knew that the chances of something happening between the two of you were slim. He picked up on yours and Donghyun’s mutual attraction towards each other, choosing to stay out of it and hopes that you two would kindle something of your own.

“Of course, he must have a lot to attend to as the Marquess. I’m sure he would’ve come here on his own if he could,” you begin, “but thank you, for the compliment,” you look down at your dress, glad that he also took a liking to it.

“Will you be attending the ball?” You asked, hopeful of his answer.

“I unfortunately will not be in attendance. The whole family will be at your masquerade ball and therefore I must look after the house along with the others.” He sees you visibly sigh, smiling to himself at the thought of you missing him at the ball.

“That is very unfortunate, I was hoping to see you there.” You don't know what got you to be so forward with him, but you saw the slight smirk tug on his face as you said it. Realizing the implications of what you just said, you look away in embarrassment, but part of you hoping that he would miss not being there too.

The silence between you two is a little awkward now, not knowing what to say to each other. Donghyun clears his throat, remembering that he had something to tell you.

“I was going to tell you this tomorrow on the carriage ride over but Sungho will not be here for tomorrow’s practice.”

“Oh, who will my dance partner be then?”

“Me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The whole way home, you’re thinking you can’t wait for tomorrow to come. While Sungho is a really good dance partner, you were excited to be able to dance with Donghyun. The thought of being in such close proximity to him had you grinning like a fool.

“Who are you thinking about that has you so giddy?”

Dongmin’s question breaks you out of your thoughts, heat rushing to your cheeks as you’ve been caught thinking about Donghyun. You hesitate for a moment before starting to speak, only to be cut off by him.

“I bet it’s Sungho, right? You’ve been without him for one day and you’re already missing him. Mayhaps you are in love?”

You pause what you’re about to say, thinking about his words carefully. Is this what that is? Are you in love with Donghyun? You bite the bullet, asking Dongmin a serious question.

“If I miss him and can’t stop thinking about him, does that mean I am in love? If I want to be closer to him when we are together, does that mean I’m in love? If the little things and small interactions make my cheeks flush red, does that mean I’m in love?”

You’re rethinking all the interactions you’ve had with Donghyun so far. The little glances and stares you take at one another. The brushes of your hands when walking with each other. The wanting to hold his hand longer when he helps you in and out of the carriage.

“I’ve felt that before. I would say yes, that would mean that you are in love.”

Dongmin had a lady who he was going to marry about a year ago. You can tell he had loved her dearly. When it was found that father had fallen ill, her family had moved back to where they were originally from. While the relationship was short-lived, only lasting about a month, you could tell that he had been in love just by the way he looked at her.

“So this is what being in love feels like…” you trailed off.

Of course, he didn’t know that it wasn’t Sungho that you were talking about. You had thought about telling him, knowing that he would understand and support you no matter who you loved. But you believed that now wasn’t the best time, not knowing yourself what your actual feelings were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon arriving home, you’re given some news by your father.

“You will be staying overnight at the Park residence tomorrow. I have already spoken to them, and they have so graciously agreed to keep you for the night. You still need practice but there will not be anyone here tomorrow as they will be thoroughly cleaning the manor for the ball in 3 days. Please go pack your stuff before they get here.”

You eagerly pack your overnight items. Making sure you have everything properly packed you sit in your room until it is time to go. You hear a soft knock on your door.

“Come in!” You shout, knowing it’s Dongmin on the other side.

“Are you all packed up and ready to go?”

“Yes, I just double-checked and made sure I had all of the stuff I will be needing. What brings you in here?”

While Dongmin was a great brother, he wasn’t exactly known to you for being the one to make sure you were all packed and ready for your own affairs.

“It is Sungho that you were talking about in the carriage, right?” He bites his lower lip, looking up at you, waiting for your response.

Your eyes meet his as you look at him in genuine shock. You didn’t know if it was because you were surprised that he would ask you such a thing, or if it was because you were shocked that he knew that it wasn’t Sungho that you were talking about earlier.

“Of course I was talking about Sungho. Who else could I be referring to?”

You ask with as much confidence as you can muster up in the moment. You hoped he wouldn’t press the situation further, but you knew your brother.

“If it really were Sungho, you would be talking about it more often, not just thinking about him silently in carriage rides.” He raises a good point.

“On top of that, if he was as eager to be with you as much as you think about him, he would be the one coming to get you personally.” You hated when he could see right through you.

“You can tell me honestly, who you were talking about. You know I’m on your side no matter what.”

You would be lying if you said that the idea of you telling your parents the truth hadn’t crossed your mind. But you were worried about what it would do to your family. How it would look if the first daughter of the Lord was to marry the servant of the son of the Duke? You didn’t care as long as you were happy with him, but you know it would be a big deal to your parents and big deal to the Duke and Duchess as well.

You didn’t realize how overwhelming the situation actually is until you felt a couple tears rolling down your face. Dongmin’s gaze on you softens when he realizes that he was right. Pulling you in for a hug he reassures you that it will be alright, but you need to talk to him so he could talk to your parents for you.

“His name is Donghyun. He is the personal servant to Sungho. He is the one who brings me there and back everyday. I don’t know how it happened but it just did.” You start from the beginning.

“He was always at the dance practices but he caught my eye the minute I saw him. He was really handsome and super sweet. I was thinking about him in the carriage today because I saw him at the tailors while you and mother were paying the expenses of my dress and mask. He said I looked magnificent, like a princess.”

You wiped the tears from your face slowly, recalling the precious moment, laughing a bit as you realized that holding in that information weighed heavy on your mind. Relieved, you look up at Dongmin who is smiling from ear to ear.

“My baby sister is in love.” Is all he says before pulling you in for another hug.

“I’ve spoken with him a few times while we waited for you to finish getting ready. He seems like a fine gentleman. And he makes you happy, which is what’s truly important.” He laughs before helping you bring your stuff down.

You look up at him and smile, feeling pure bliss as you were able to come clean about it all, and from being able to have Dongmin’s full support. While your parents’ opinions were important, Dongmin’s opinion mattered more. He was the closest person to you, your best friend.

“I am excited to be there for the night. And tomorrow, Donghyun is going to be my dance partner.”

He looks at you with a mischievous grin, almost scary.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Expecting you to slap his arm, he preemptively runs away, escaping your wrath at his rather crass comment. You can only giggle a bit before following him downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With all your stuff loaded into the same carriage as the first night, you bid your farewells to your parents and brother. You enter the carriage with Donghyun’s help, eagerly awaiting your arrival to the Park’s residence. You feel the cool air blow past your face as the slightly chilly autumn weather provides a beautiful scene for you to look at.

“It is quite breezy outside Lady Y/N. Are you sure you want to keep the window open? Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold now,” Donghyun remarks, concerned about your well-being.

“Actually it feels quite nice. Being in these clothes all day can get a little warm. Plus, it’s nice to get the fresh air in here.” You appreciate his concern.

A couple minutes of silence go by as you think about earlier in the day when he said you looked like a princess in your dress. You can feel a blush coming on remembering the look on his face when he saw you.

Donghyun was surprised when Sungho said he had forgotten that he needed some things in preparation for the ball. Sungho was usually on top of his belongings. He always knew what he needed to do, when to do it and what he would be needing for any events. Of course, Donghyun would never question him in that way, and instead just did as he was told. He was completely unaware that you would be there. He knew that you were going to pick up your dress that day but he didn’t know where you would be. When he entered the tailors he immediately went to someone, asking for Sungho’s things. There weren’t many other people in the shop at the time, since it was pretty early in the day. He had just finished paying for everything when he heard your familiar voice. He looked around for you until he spotted you, a couple feet away from the changing room. Without thinking he went up to you,

“You look magnificent. Like a princess.”

The words playing over and over again in your head.

He didn’t know where he had gotten the courage to say that to you, but your reaction was priceless. He knew when he had first seen you at the practice room that he had an attraction to you, but seeing you in your dress, a shocked yet shy expression on your face, he knew that he had fallen for you. His face held a soft expression, reflecting pure awe and fondness at the sight of you in front of him. He felt a little swell of confidence when you looked away all bashful.

Replaying the whole incident in your head over and over you failed to realize, again, that Donghyun was asking you a question.

“Are you lost in your thoughts again, m’lady?”

“I thought I told you to drop the formalities? We're the same age and you are not my servant. I shall provide you the same grace and respect as if you were my own colleague.” You chuckle, finding it cute that he was still being formal with you.

“I appreciate the offer but you are still a lady. The daughter of the lord, might I add. It would be dishonorable of me to refer to you as anything other than a lady.”

It was his respectful manner that drew you into him more. You found it very attractive that he stuck to his morals, deciding to drop the conversation of formalities.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shortly after the conversation, you arrived at the Park residence. Donghyun had helped you out of the carriage and grabbed your belongings for you.

“Allow me to show you to your room, Lady Y/N.”

You follow behind him quietly, greeting the Duke and Duchess and everyone else along the way. He set your belongings down onto the ottoman in the room you were given.

The room was painted a soft, baby blue. Beautiful crown moldings adorned the lining of the ceiling and floor. There were two big windows beside a big bay window. Across from the canopy bed in the middle of the room was a vanity complete with a big mirror and all the makeup products you would ever need. Next to the bed was a door that led to your own personal bathroom, fully stocked with everything you would need in there.

“I want to apologize sincerely on behalf of the Duke and Duchess and Lord Sungho. We have assigned a lady’s maid to you but she will not be here until the morning. Again, my deepest apologies,” Donghyun says, bowing to you for longer than normal.

“Because Lord Sungho is not here tonight, I shall see to it that I handle your requests personally. Please let me know if you need anything.”

He stood close to the doorway, awaiting your response.

“That is completely alright. I understand that because the Duchess is the only lady of the house, it makes sense that there are not many ladies around. I appreciate you and your efforts.”

You bow back to him, smiling as you look around the room again. You touch the bed frame, the baby blue curtains of the canopy matching the walls of the room perfectly. You sit on the bed, sinking into the soft mattress. You look at Donghyun,

“This room is so perfect. Who should I thank for setting it up so perfectly?”

A small blush creeps onto his face as he looks away.

“I was the one who prepared the room for you. I asked them if I could be the one to do it…”

You look at him in awe, the familiar feeling of your heart racing once again at the thought of Donghyun doing this specifically for you. You walk up to him and smile. You grab his hand and look into his eyes.

“Thank you so much for setting this up for me, Donghyun.”

He felt like he never wanted you to let go of his hands. The tips of his ears becoming red at your close proximity, feeling like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He had never been drawn to someone in his life, especially not like this. There was something about you that made him want more. Fighting the urge to hold your face in his hands, he looks away from you.

“There is no need to thank me. I am glad you like the room. I will leave you to do your nightly routine as it is getting quite late. I shall see you in the morning.”

Normally, servants weren’t supposed to kiss the hands of the people that they serve, but he couldn’t resist this time. He turned over your hands, placing gentle kisses onto both of them.

“Have a goodnight, m’lady.”

Your eyes plead with him, not wanting him to leave, but you know he has to. As he leaves the room, you feel a wave of sadness hit you, already missing his presence. Feeling rather hot from the intimate interaction, you head to the restroom and draw yourself a bath, getting ready for bed as you knew you had a whole day of practicing ahead of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up the next morning to a knock on your door. Opening it up, you realize it was the lady’s maid that was assigned to you. You both exchange greetings and bows before she helps you get ready for the day. Drawing your bath for you and setting aside the makeup that she will be doing on you for the day. She even had a dress pressed, steamed, and ready for you to wear for practice today.

Because the ball was only 2 days away, you had to wear dresses that were of similar style to the one that you had picked out in order to better dance in your actual dress. The first couple days were practiced in more casual, everyday dresses to help you learn the steps first.

You go down to the practice room eagerly. You already know your way around the manor by now but your maid accompanied you anyways. You step in and immediately take notice of Donghyun standing where Sungho normally does. You’re more excited seeing his face and rush to stand across from him.

“Good morning Lady Y/N.”

“Good morning Donghyun.”

Normally, you would feel anxious and nervous before starting. At this point, you barely stepped on Sungho’s shoes when you practiced with him but you still had trouble following the beat and got the timing of the moves wrong every now and again. As you get into position to start the dance, you notice that you’re not nervous. It was as if Donghyun’s presence instantly had a calming effect on you. You place one hand on his shoulder and he places a hand on your waist, your other hands interlocked as that is how the dance starts.

During your other practice sessions, Donghyun would solely focus his attention onto you. This meant that he knew at what points during the songs you falter. He knew the very beats that caused you to step on Sungho’s shoes every time. He used his knowledge to help you not mess up. He would match your pace before correcting it and therefore made you feel more at ease. Not once did you step on Donghyun’s shoes.

As the end of the practice session drew near, you felt sad knowing that you wouldn’t be dancing with Donghyun at the ball. You felt bad for Sungho, knowing that he was assigned to be your dance partner, and that you would likely spend most of the night dancing with only him, only for you to not want him. Part of you wished you liked Sungho as much as you liked Donghyun, but you knew you couldn’t control your feelings.

“You did amazing today m’lady. You have come very far.”

“It is all thanks to you. Not once did I step on your shoes like I normally do to Lord Sungho. I feel a lot better about the ball, but I am still apprehensive.”

“I could understand feeling that way. But I am sure you will be great that night. This is the last practice we are having. I am glad that I could help you perfect your dance.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s tragic ‘cuz after tonight, my heart will never be the same…”

You freshen up after dance practice. It’s now around 4 in the evening and you leave the room to find Sungho waiting for you. He greets you with a bow and kisses the back of your hand.

“My apologies for not being able to practice with you today, Lady Y/N. I heard from Donghyun that you did well today.”

He says, smiling at you, catching the light blush that appears on your face at the mention of Donghyun’s name and his compliment towards you.

“It is alright, I understand you have other matters you must attend to. I think the practice went alright. I’m a bit nervous since the ball is 2 days away but I’m sure when the time comes we will be great.”

You smile back at him.

“You’ve been practicing all morning and afternoon. I can imagine that you are hungry. I came here to tell you that dinner will be ready in about an hour. For now, would you like to accompany me to the park nearby? It's quite lovely outside today.”

“I would love to.”

And with that, you both walked out to the park, you holding onto his arm. What you didn’t notice was Donghyun had watched you leave with Sungho.

He knew that there wasn’t a way for you two to be together, but why was he so jealous that you were with Sungho? He knew that Sungho had taken interest in you and he knew that it would make sense for you to want to be with him. Part of him felt like you were going to pursue your relationship with Sungho because you had no reason not to. He could only assume that your interactions between you and himself were regular for a lady to a servant but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more behind your actions.

The way you would speak to him so softly and the way your eyes always scanned the room for him first. When you asked him if he would be attending the ball and your visible upset expression when he said no. Or the way you let him kiss your hands last night and he swears he saw you lean in and pout your lips when he left. Did that all mean nothing? Was he just making things up in his head?

He walked away after seeing you with him, needing to clear his head. How had you gotten him feeling like this in just a week’s time?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your stroll in the park with Sungho was very peaceful. You guys walked around, making small conversation here and there about the autumn weather and the upcoming ball. You were able to talk with him freely, feeling like you guys were akin to close friends. But that’s all you felt with Sungho, friendship. You found a bench underneath a tree that you decided to stop at. You smoothed out your dress before sitting down.

“The weather is just lovely today. Not too cold yet.”

There was a slight breeze here and there but the weather itself was warm enough to wear you didn’t need an overcoat.

“It is really wonderful. I hear the weather is supposed to be good all weekend. A perfect time to have the ball. I am actually really excited for the ball. I can’t wait to dance with you.”

You felt a pang of guilt hit you. Sungho had feelings for you that you were upset you couldn’t reciprocate. He spoke up again,

“I hope you're excited to dance with me too but… I have a feeling that you’re not.”

You looked at him like a deer in headlights. You tilt your head and feign confusion.

“What do you mean, my Lord? Of course I am excited to dance with you.”

He had a knowing look in his eyes and his expression softened when he realized you must’ve been nervous at his question.

“I mean that I know you don’t feel for me how I feel for you. You made it a little obvious.”

You look away from him, lost for words.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, I do not feel for you in the way you have for me. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier…”

Your voice trails off, wanting to say more but not wanting to expose yourself in the process of explanation.

“I know you have feelings for my servant, Donghyun.”

You look at him yet again, but this time with a shocked look on your face.

“How did you…”

“Again, you made it pretty obvious. So did he. I noticed since the first day of practice that you two would exchange glances at each other. I had to remind you to keep eye contact with me.” He chuckled.

“I also figured when he offered to take you home the first night as well. Donghyun has a fear of driving a carriage after a minor accident he had years ago. We never make him do it, so I was surprised when he asked. I had a feeling then that something was going on. After that point, I had arranged for him to come get you because I knew it would make him happy. I also didn’t need the items I had him pick up for me at the tailor but I knew you’d be there so I sent him. I didn’t tell him that you’d be there but he started talking about his encounter with you when he came back. He could not wipe the smile off of his face.”

You looked at Sungho in awe that he would do that for his servant.

“After that, I knew for sure that he was harboring feelings for you. And when you came here to stay the night, I had heard from your brother that you were excited to stay over and that you didn’t once mess up while dancing with Donghyun like you had with me for the last 4 days.”

You sigh, relieved to know that Donghyun had truly felt the same way about you that you had about him.

“You don’t think it’s wrong that we have an attraction to each other? Surely this wouldn’t go over well with the Duke and Duchess.”

“I could handle them, and besides, I have other women that have reached out about their interest for me.”

He says laughing, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

“I feel that we have gotten close like friends over this past week. I would be more than happy to know that you would make Donghyun happy.”

Looking up at him you smile.

“That makes me feel so relieved. Thank you for understanding and being so kind about it. I was so nervous about having to turn you down. And while I do appreciate you thinking I could make Donghyun happy, I don’t even know how I would go about seeing him again after this. He won’t even be at the ball.”

Sungho takes your hand in his, soothing it.

“You will find a way. There is always a way.”

He says almost cynically. He had a plan. You give him a hug and you two take to walking back, as it was nearing dinner time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner you head back to your room to pack up your belongings. You hear a knock on your door.

“It’s Donghyun. May I come in, Lady Y/N?”

You smile and almost run to the door to open it in excitement.

“Hello Donghyun, what brings you in here?”

You ask while inviting him inside and closing the door behind you.

“Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess in here. I was just packing up my belongings.”

You say apologizing for the messy state of the room.

“It’s no worries at all. I was coming around to ask if you needed any help with packing or if you needed anything. I will be bringing you back so take your time, there is no need to rush.”

You can only look up into his eyes, suddenly becoming very aware of your height difference and how close he actually was to you. The tension in the room was palpable, like you could cut through it with a knife.

Everything Sungho told you at the park was replaying in your mind. You kept thinking about how he kissed your hands the night prior and the feeling it left in the pit of your stomach.

Your eyes were looking all across his face. His eyes that were big and sparkly and how you could get lost in them for hours. How perfectly his nose was shaped. His thick lips that looked so plump and kissable. His hair that was styled so perfectly, its length helping sharpen the look of his jawline. He truly did look like a work of art.

Unbeknownst to you, he was staring right back at you. Taking in all your features. His eyes looked first at your hair, then your nose, your cheeks, your forehead, your eyes, then your lips. They lingered at your lips for a while before looking back into your eyes.

“Lady Y/N…”

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to ruin the moment between you two but he didn’t want to do anything either of you would regret.

“Can I kiss you?”

You place your hands on his shoulders and lean up to kiss him. His hands go straight to your waist, stabilizing you while he reaches down to meet your lips. It's like a flame lit between your bodies, not wanting to part from each other. You both start off slow. You take your time navigating through the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck, pulling him in closer. Donghyun’s hands are roaming your body, wanting to feel as much of you as he can, respectfully. He’s aware of the implications that this kiss holds, but remembers that you’re a lady, and fights off any other naughty thoughts that are running around his mind. He doesn’t know that you’re thinking similar naughty thoughts. You both continue like this for a bit before pulling away, needing to catch your breath. You’re left breathless and needy, an unfamiliar feeling bubbling in your stomach, wanting more.

You're both looking into each other's eyes, the magnitude of your actions hitting you almost instantly. You pull away from each other slightly and take a deep breath.

“That was my first kiss.”

You say to break the silence.

“Mine too.”

He says and you giggle a bit. He starts laughing too, lightening the mood.

“I’m sorry for asking to kiss you. I realize how inappropriate that was.”

He looks away shamefully only for his attention to be pulled back to you when you speak up.

“Don’t apologize. It was more inappropriate for me to have just pulled you in like that. But I did enjoy it. I enjoy being around you, Donghyun.”

It’s his turn to blush, not being able to stop the bright smile from appearing in his face, his eyes smiling just as big.

“I enjoy being around you as well.”

“I know. Lord Sungho told me all of your efforts to come pick me up and drop me off were because of your feelings for me. If it wasn’t obvious by now I have feelings for you as well.”

You sit down on the bed and pat the seat next to you for him to sit down as well. You take his hands into yours before continuing to speak.

“Lord Sungho was telling me about your feelings for me. He told me he could sense that I didn’t have feelings for him because I was constantly looking at and searching for you.” You confess.

“He told me that he supports us figuring out whatever this may be between us.”

“But how? I am merely his servant and you’re the daughter of Lord L/N. I don’t know how this could work between us.”

He looks down sheepishly, realizing that there was no way he would be allowed to be with you. You take his face in your hands, caressing his cheek with your thumb.

“If the worry is about my parents, leave it to me. Do not worry about that. You would need to talk to Lord Sungho and your family.”

“That wouldn’t be too hard, I don’t have any other family. My parents were poor and could barely afford to live. We were taken in by the former Duke and Duchess and my parents worked for them. I grew up with Lord Sungho and we are best friends, but I am also his servant. My parents died a while ago, so really, it’s just me.”

He talked so calmly and openly about his past, as if he was telling you just another regular story. He smiles at you, melting into your touch.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, that must have been really hard.” You stare into his eyes, your expression softening at his confession of his parents’ passing.

“Thank you. Now let’s get you back. You have a ball to prepare for.”

He helped you bring your stuff out. It was to both of your surprises that Sungho was standing outside waiting for you by the carriage.

“I hope you’re okay with me bringing you back, Lady Y/N. I cleared my schedule for tonight.” Even though you really wanted Donghyun to drop you back, you knew that you would see him again eventually. You nod to Sungho before bowing to Donghyun and parting ways, Sungho helping you into the carriage. You see Donghyun smiling wide at you, waving you off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The carriage ride began quietly. You couldn’t help the goofy smile that splayed across your face thinking about your kiss with Donghyun. The way his hands held you so firmly at first, like he was scared to grip you any harder. Then after getting into it for a bit, the way he squeezed your figure like he never wanted to let you go. The heat you felt between your bodies, like it was meant to happen for the two of you to be together.

“You’re not usually this quiet on carriage rides with Donghyun, are you?”

Sungho giggles, breaking you out of your thoughts. You blush at the thoughts you were having.

“No, but, I have a lot on my mind.”

He can hear the smile through your voice.

“Is it the ball? Or something else?”

“It is the ball amongst other things. I’m scared but also excited. I know I was dreading it at first but I think I’m going to be sad when it's all over.”

You respond honestly, albeit, leaving out the biggest piece of information you were just thinking about.

“Now that all makes sense. But tell me really, what were you ACTUALLY thinking about? Thinking about the ball would not make you smile and giggle like you just did. Does it have something to do with Donghyun? Did something finally happen between you two” Sungho is glad you can’t see the smirk on his face.

“Lord Sungho! How dare you ask such a question!”

You can’t help the chuckle that leaves your lips, flabbergasted at his boldness.

“Oh come on Lady Y/N. You have already rejected me as a possible future husband. The least we can do is remain friends. I feel that we have become very close throughout this whole process. Not to mention that I have basically played the part of cupid in your relationship with Donghyun, whatever that may come of it.” He has a point.

“Fine. I suppose we can stay friends,” you say sarcastically, but actually you're really fond of the relationship you’ve grown to have with Sungho. It seems that your relationship has grown to be closer to that of a sibling relationship.

“But, we drop the formalities when we’re alone! Being called Lady Y/N by you feels too proper now that we are on a friend-to-friend basis.”

“Alright fine, I will drop formalities with you, but you still have to call me Lord Sungho,” He says, joking but he swears he can hear you roll your eyes at his comment.

“But okay, okay! Tell me what happened. I know Donghyun went into your room before you left.”

“It wasn’t anything much! We talked for a bit…”

“Aaannddddd?”

“And we kissed”

You hide your face in your hands, embarrassed after having said it out loud. Sungho bursts out laughing and then apologizes afterwards for laughing.

“That’s it? I’ll have to have a talk with him when I get back.”

“That’s not all! We talked after about what would come of this. We both obviously want to be together but he was worried about what my family would say since he’s your servant and I’m me. We don’t even know how we would be able to meet, especially once I tell my family that you and I are not going to pursue a relationship together.”

“Don’t tell your parents that we will not be together, yet. If you say that we do want to pursue a relationship together, that would make it easier for you to see Donghyun at our manor.”

“But what about you? I don’t want to hold you back from pursuing someone else because of this.”

“Well, unless you plan on hiding this relationship for years, I won’t be missing out on much if it is only for a few months.”

He laughs and you sigh. You feel so grateful for Sungho and his willingness to do this for you, even though you never asked him to. It shows how much he cares for both you and Donghyun.

“Plus, this is the least I can do for Donghyun. He has done so much for me, I owe him at least this much.”

You love how humble Sungho is. He never took for granted what he had and how he was so selfless, always looking out for others. Your respect for him only grew more.

“I could never ask you to do this for me, but thank you so much. I will owe you after this as well.”

There’s a shared silence between you two for a bit before you break it again,

“What did you mean when you said you would need to talk to Donghyun when you get back?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Sungho brought you home, you felt it inappropriate to let him leave with anything other than a hug, which surprised both your parents and Dongmin.

“I will see you at the ball, Lady Y/N. Have a great night.”

He kissed your hand and left. You walked into your house, not missing the confused smile on Dongmin’s face. He helped you take your bags back to your room where he shut the door. You immediately knew that he was going to want to talk about that hug.

“I thought you liked his servant? Why are you hugging him in front of our parents?”

You sighed, explaining everything to him, even the kiss you shared with Donghyun. He felt like he could tear up at your confession.

“You’re being so dramatic Dongmin.” You slapped his arm and he could tell you were being serious about this.

“So he really offered to do that for you, huh? What a good man he is. Good luck explaining all this to mom and dad in a few months.” The both of you shared a laugh at his statement, not wanting to think about what that moment would look like.

After telling him all of the information from your stay, he leaves you to yourself, where you ponder what the next two days will hold. The whole time you prepare for sleep, you’re thinking about Donghyun. About his hands, his face, his eyes, his lips. You miss the feeling of his lips on yours. You think about when the next time you’re going to see him will be. You hope that Sungho will invite you back to his house after the ball so you could see him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Who are you? What is your name? This is a two-faced game…”

The day of the masquerade ball arrives, and you’re as nervous as ever. The setup in the ballroom at your house was complete. The tables were beautifully decorated with gorgeous centerpieces and plates of hors d'oeuvres. There were plenty of drinks ranging from water, to juice to alcohol. The dance floor was polished to perfection, so much so that you could see your reflection if you looked down at it. The only thing left was for you to calm your nerves.

You looked around, thinking about all the events leading up to this day. How you didn’t know how to dance prior to this. How nervous you were when you kept stepping on Sungho’s shoes. How your attention flew to Donghyun the moment you stepped into the practice room. How you met Sungho and ended up falling in love with his servant.

Shaking your head, you focus now on greeting the guests as they enter the ballroom, remembering that this day was to celebrate your parents and your family. Everyone had masks on, so you were worried about not being able to recognize some people at first. You put on a smile, and it grew a 100x bigger when you saw Sungho and his parents. Of course if there was someone you’d recognize, it would be him. He greets you like normal and walks in, admiring the way everything was set up. He decides to stand next to you while you greet people, talking to him in between the guests’ arrivals. He whispers in your ear,

“Donghyun was right, you do, look beautiful,” he says, smiling at you and admiring the dress.

You blush at the thought of his name, and the fact that he was gushing to Sungho that you looked beautiful in your dress.

“Thank you.”

You could feel eyes on you. Even through the masks, you knew that people were staring at you. You assumed that you’d get stares from other potential suitors, but you didn’t think the feeling would be this overwhelming. You were still nervous but having Sungho by your side helped you a little. After about an hour of walking around, greeting and talking to guests, you decide to check in on your brother and parents.

“How is everything going over here?”

“Hey Y/N! Everything is good around here. How are you holding up? There’s been a lot of suitors coming up to talk to us about you.” Dongmin responds.

“Have there? I’ve been feeling a lot of people staring at me and it's overwhelming, honestly. I didn’t expect there to be so many people wanting to get to know me.”

He wraps an arm around you and pulls you into a hug, assuring you that it’s going to be alright and that it's only for one day. You congratulate your parents on their anniversary and the big success of the party before you head back to the dance floor with him. Before the main dance of the ball starts, there were a couple of slow songs that people took to the dance floor to do. You knew these, as they were not that hard, but you had a line of suitors waiting to dance with you. You dance with them one by one, silently wishing it was over after every dance. During a break session you head to a table to grab a snack. You spot Sungho at a table by himself. You walk up to him and let out a deep breath that you were holding. Sungho can sense your tension.

“It’s that bad, huh?”

“They’re all very nice. But I have no interest in them. And I’m worried about the actual masquerade dance. Practicing with you was amazing and I thank you, truly, but I cannot hide the fact that I am nervous.”

“I know, but you will do amazing, I promise.”He sounded too sure, like he was plotting something. Your break was short-lived however, as a couple minutes later they called for everyone to join the dance floor for the fabled masquerade dance. Your heart beat sped up as you got into position with Sungho by your side.

Panic set in once the music started playing. Things were going smoothly at first, the music slow enough for you to keep up. You focused on not stepping on Sungho’s shoes, like you often did during the practice sessions. He could sense your nervousness and gave you a small smile.

“Hey, look at me. You’re doing great. Just keep looking up at me and let your body move on its own, don’t think about it too much.”

He was always good at calming you down, settling your nerves during practices, but it wasn’t helping now, not after you practiced with Donghyun. You wished you were dancing with him. He was able to calm your nerves in an instant. You didn’t once mess up during your practice with him.

Sungho was nice, he danced well and he was undeniably handsome. He was perfect in every way. You wished he could calm you down like Donghyun could. You look up at him and smile, trying to calm yourself and focus but the only thing on your mind was him. Keeping up for a bit, you were doing better but your blood ran cold at the next announcement:

“Let’s switch it up tonight! Everyone, please take a step to your left and meet your new partner!”

You take a step back and part with Sungho, watching as he spins with his new partner. He mouths to you, ‘heads up,’ before spinning away. You looked around frantically, confused. You were at the edge of the dance floor. Everyone seemed to have been able to find their partners except for you. You proceed with the steps by yourself, trying to keep up with the now quickened pace.

Suddenly, you spin and someone interlocks their hands with yours.

“May I have this dance?”

You can instantly recognize the almost shoulder-length brown hair, the thick lips and the eyes that still glimmer even through his mask. His voice is especially unmistakable. You felt a wave of relief wash over you.

“Donghyun!?”

You whisper-yell back at him. You focus for a second, straightening yourself out and talking to him during the parts of the dance that you guys are close enough to hear each other.

“I mean this in the nicest way possible but, what are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t attend?”

Really, you were having more trouble hiding your excitement. You no longer felt panic but confidence. Donghyun was always able to make you dance better.

“It was Lord Sungho’s idea! He wanted us to be together tonight!”

You hold in your laughter at his child-like glee. His smile making it impossible for you not to smile back at him. With your new found confidence, you are able to finish the dance without making any mistakes. The dance ends with Donghyun’s hand caressing your face before you two part ways for dramatic effect. After the dance, you both look for Sungho to thank him but he already beat you to it, walking up to you and Donghyun.

“I know I'm the best, no need to thank me.” he says all cocky.

“Well I was going to thank you but nevermind.” you playfully roll your eyes at him, not being able to conceal your smile.

Donghyun laughs at your interaction, Sungho having already told him about how you two agreed to drop formalities whenever possible and act more like friends than failed partners.

“I’m kidding. You guys did beautifully. I’m so happy for you guys!”

Sungho and Donghyun exchange knowing looks, laughing together afterwards. With the main dance being over you were able to relax for a bit. The party was still very lively and busy, with everyone now settling down to eat and mostly drink for the rest of the night. After talking with a couple more people and congratulating your parents once again, you tell them you will be going to lie down in your room for a bit. With their approval, you take it as the perfect opportunity to slip away from everyone with Donghyun, into your room.

“I’m so happy you were able to come! It truly was the best part of the night!”

You say to him after closing the door, giving him a hug. He sighs into your embrace, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent and letting out a contented sigh.

“You look even more beautiful today. I didn’t think it was possible. And you did great out there. I'm so proud.”

You blush at his words and pull out of the hug, planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

“You look very handsome. I don’t ever want to stop looking at you. And thank you, it was all because of you I was able to relax and do well tonight. No offense to Sungho but I was praying that I could’ve been dancing with you from the start.”

He smiles at your words before tilting your head up towards his, leaning down to give you a kiss. This one felt different to the one you shared at the Park’s residence. That one was more needy and sloppy, both of you not knowing how to deal with the emotions that had built up and were coursing through your veins. This one was more slow, emotions flowing steady through the way your lips parted and met each other yet again. Donghyun was taking his time kissing you, slowly moving down your face to your jaw, then your neck and to your exposed collarbones.

You let out pleasured sighs at his actions, not wanting him to stop.

“I think I know what's going to happen, but I’ve never done anything like this before…”

You admitted shyly. He stopped his kisses on your neck before stepping back to look at you.

“I understand. I have never done anything like this before either. But if you allow me, I know I can make you feel good. Do you trust me to do that for you, Lady Y/N?”

If the way his eyes were pleading with yours to say yes wasn’t enough, it was his hands holding your so softly and the way that he wanted to take care of you that did.

“I trust you Donghyun.”

He smiles at you before kissing your lips softly, hands going behind your dress to unzip it. After slipping out of it, you were left in a short, white slip-on dress. He walks you both to your bed where he has you straddle him. He runs his hands up your exposed thighs gently squeezing them a bit.

“If you want to stop at any point, just tell me and I’ll stop, okay?”

You nod your head eagerly as you pull him in for a kiss this time. He repeats his actions from earlier, kissing you for a bit before moving down to kiss your neck. You moan as he leaves wet kisses on your collarbone. He runs his hands up your arms before placing them on your waist, moving towards your chest. He puts his hand over your clothed breast, giving it a playful squeeze, wanting you to be okay with it before doing more. Upon hearing you moan again, he takes it as a green light before squeezing it more, rubbing his thumb over your covered nipple.

Your face is hot and you know that you’re blushing out of embarrassment but you don’t want him to stop. You pull the straps of your slip off, fully exposing your chest to him. You look away in embarrassment, not wanting to see the look on his face.

“You’re so beautiful, and so perfect.”

He grabs your jaw making you look at him again before connecting your lips. He lifts you both up off of the bed only to lay you down softly, never leaving your lips. He takes off his dark green overcoat, which he picked out to match with you when Sungho told him he would also be attending. He unbuttons his shirt and, to his surprise, you’re staring right at him. His toned and lean body makes his slight abs visible, even in the darkness of your bedroom. He smirks,

“Do you like what you see?”

He says playfully to which you feel your cheeks burn for the 100th time. He fully takes his shirt off, throwing it on the floor before making his way down your body. He runs his large hands up and down your legs before pausing to ask you a question: “Have you ever touched yourself before?”

He looked up at you with those big sparkly eyes that crinkled in the corner when a slight smile made its way onto your face.

“It’s quite embarrassing to admit, but yes I have, but not much.”

“That’s not embarrassing to admit, I appreciate your honesty, but please guide me, so I can make you feel as good as I can.”

He gives you the sweetest smile before slipping your dress up a little, now face-to-face with panties that have a clear wet spot around them.

“I didn’t know I made you this excited so quickly,”

He didn’t seem like the type, but his words were cocky, chuckling as he ghosted his fingers over the wet patch. You played into it,

“They were like this after our first kiss too. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, about you,”

You whispered to him which only spurred him on. He slowly slipped your panties off, discarding them next to his shirt, before rising a little to meet your lips. He guided two of his fingers down and hovered them above your clit.

“Tell me how this feels…”

He gently rubs your clit in circles, barely applying any pressure at first. He takes your slight whimper as a good sign and adds a little more pressure, kissing your neck as well. You grab onto his arm, clutching it as the pleasure in your core builds. You allow yourself to make some noises, the music outside loud enough to drown out your moans. You absentmindedly grind into his fingers, wanting more. Taking that as his sign, he moves his fingers away from your clit and slips them up and down your wet folds, collecting your slick.

“Let me know if it becomes too much”

He slips one finger in slowly. They were a lot longer than yours were and a lot thicker too. You nod your head at him to move and he slowly pushes a finger in before dragging it back out.

“F-Feels so good.”

He added another finger after a bit, making sure you were ready to take him. You buck your hips up into his fingers when he hits your sweet spot.

“Right there, it feels so good!”

You arch your back more, feeling immense pleasure build up within you. Suddenly, he takes out both fingers, to which you whine. He removes his pants and boxers before climbing back onto the bed and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I want you to finish on me. Are you ready, Lady Y/N?”

You nod your head quickly, wanting nothing more than for him to already be in you, but you’re nervous.

“Please be careful, and go slow. I’ve never done this before…”

“Don’t worry, I will make sure you are alright.”

He lines himself up with your entrance, biting back a groan as he slowly pushes himself in. You hiss a little at the intrusion, the foreign feeling causing you slight pain. His face morphs to one of worry to which you quickly reassure him that you’re okay.

“I’m okay, you can go ahead and move…”

His thrusts are painfully slow, not wanting to hurt you anymore. He can feel you squeezing his biceps, a little pride swelling in his chest. He takes this chance to dip down into your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses but making sure not to leave any marks.

Your moans grow loud and are more frequent, a result of him speeding up his pace. You sit up slightly causing him to hit into you deeper. He groans in your ear,

“You feel so good around me, I don’t think I’ll be able to last much longer,”

The feeling in your stomach is familiar, similar to the one Donghyun had caused earlier when he was fingering you. You assumed this is what it meant to be close, feeling the pleasure tighten and about to burst.

“I feel it, please don’t stop Donghyun!”

You let yourself be a little louder that time, knowing it would fuel him to go faster— and he did. Moments later you’re coming all over him. He thrusts a few more times before pulling out and using his hand to finish himself off, cumming all over it.

Your breathing is shallow and quick, your throat dry from all the moaning and kissing. Donghyun runs to the bathroom connected to your room and washes his hands before grabbing a towel to clean you up. You wince at the process, still sensitive from before.

“Thank you for cleaning me up, Donghyun. That was amazing.”

“You were amazing. I didn’t know I could feel that good. I didn’t go too hard, did I?”

You shook your head before pulling him in for another kiss. You thought about what he had said before when you first kissed. How he hadn’t kissed anyone before either.

“No, it was just perfect. But I have a question for you. Last time, you said you never kissed anyone before. So how were you so good at what you just did?”

It was Donghyun’s turn to blush and avoid your gaze.

“That night that we kissed, Lord Sungho had asked to speak to me after he got back. He asked about what had happened and then he asked me if I knew what to do afterwards. When I told him that I had never done that before, he explained to me what the next process would be like…”

“Oh my, I’m sure that was embarrassing for you, having to talk to him about such an intimate thing?”

“Not really. We practically grew up together, besides the fact that I am his servant, he doesn’t treat me like one. We’re like brothers.”

He smiles to himself at the thought of Sungho treating him more like a brother than a servant.

“Of course we have to act very formal when others are around, but when we’re by ourselves, it’s like the class gap doesn’t exist.”

“That’s so beautiful. I’m glad he doesn’t make you feel like you’re just a servant. You’re so much more than that.”

You get up, wincing slightly at the ache between your legs, suddenly aware that you were still very naked. You look back to see Donghyun staring at you with a bright smile, eyes disappearing because he was smiling so wide. You say playfully,

“Stop looking at me! I’m naked!”

“I know, I’m the reason why.”

You laugh at his joke while slapping his arm.

“You’re cheeky”

“Maybe just a little bit.”

He laughs and gets up, putting his clothes back on and helping you back into your dress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Welcome to my Masquerade…”

You could still hear the music outside, and the faint voices of people over it. Slowly, you both slip out of your room, you first and Donghyun leaving a few minutes later. You catch the eye of Sungho and Dongmin as you enter the ballroom. Dongmin says something first,

“You’ve been gone for a while! I was looking for you, where have you been? There were many people asking to speak to you.”

You hope they don’t catch the way your breath hitches before answering,

“After the dance, I told mom and dad that I would go to my room to lie down for a bit…”

Now it was Sungho’s turn to speak,

“If you were lying down, why are you a little sweaty and your hair is messed up?”

Before you could answer, Donghyun walks into the ballroom, walking up to the three of you.

“How is everyone’s night going so far?”

Donghyun says, adjusting his mask. Dongmin and Sungho exchange knowing looks, Sungho smirking up at Donghyun.

“It’s going fine. We were looking for Y/N because there were many people wanting to talk to her but we couldn’t find her. I was going to ask you to help us find her but you disappeared too.”

Sungho tilted his head to the side, waiting for Donghyun’s explanation. He had never lied to Sungho before, but he was quick on his feet.

“Oh, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you look, I was in the restroom. But I see that you have found her and I’m sure there are plenty of people still waiting to talk to her now.”

You look up at him in disbelief, holding back a laugh as you feign seriousness. Dongmin tongues his cheek, also holding back a laugh. He grabs your arm, guiding you to the next person that wants to talk to you, whispering to Donghyun,

“I know what you guys did, fix your shirt,”

Donghyun looks down, realizing that his shirt was sticking out from underneath his overcoat, not tucked into his pants. He looks up at Sungho, who's already shaking his head at him.

“If you guys are gonna be sneaking around like this, at least get better at being aware of your state afterwards… but then again, I am proud of you. Did you do everything I told you to do?”

Donghyun smirks, fixing his shirt before answering,

“Have I ever not done something you’ve told me to do?”

Both men share a laugh as they watch you struggle to hide your disgust at the next suitor you’re talking to. You make eye contact with Donghyun for a second, to which he winks at you, mouthing a ‘good luck’ before shooting you a thumbs up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the ball ends, you and your family see the guests off, saying your goodbye’s. The last family to leave is Sungho’s. By now, your family lets you see him off without them needing to be there, so they say their goodbyes before heading back inside. Sungho’s parents give you the same courtesy, waiting in the carriage for Sungho and Donghyun, who drove the carriage here. Dongmin insisted he stay outside with you.

“Well, I’ve had a lovely evening, Lord Dongmin, Lady Y/N. I hope to see you soon at our manor. I’m sure someone else would like to see you there as well.”

Sungho brings your hand up to his lips.

“Next time you come over, be sure to bring Lord Dongmin with you, we have much to discuss.”

Dongmin and Sungho exchange hugs and talk amongst themselves while Donghyun comes up to you.

“I have also had a lovely evening with you, Lady Y/N. I hope to see you soon.”

Donghyun kneels before you, placing a kiss onto the backs of both your hands, the grandest request of courtship.

“I wish to court you from here on. Please think of me until we see each other again.”

You tear up a little at his confession, placing a soft kiss on his cheek, hoping that Sungho’s parents weren’t looking out the carriage, wondering what’s taking them so long.

“I will be sure to visit very soon. And I promise, I’ll think of you everyday.”

With that, the four of you bid each other farewell, you and Dongmin making your way back inside.

“That was so risky, even for you. You’re lucky nobody caught on.”

“I was nervous the whole time but it just felt right. I hope you’re not mad at me, big brother.”

“Why would I be mad? My little sister is happy! And I’m so happy for you. Not to mention how me and Sungho have built quite the friendship over this past week, especially tonight.”

“Thank you Dongmin. I really like him. I’m glad you do too! I hope you guys can build a good friendship as well.”

He pulls you into a hug and you finally feel at ease, after the preparation, the practice, talking to so many people and the actual ball itself. Not to mention that your and Donghyun’s earlier affairs had your legs slightly shaking the rest of the night. You feel yourself relaxing into Dongmin’s arms, the exhaustion from the entire week finally catching up to you.

“Let’s get you to bed. I know you must be tired.”

Dongmin scoffs before picking you up, carrying you to your bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know this is so long but I hope you guys enjoyed reading! Again, its my first fic on here so please be nice! my asks are open so if you have any questions feel free to ask!

-> Here's a link to all my other masterlists!

#starrihan #leehan #leehan smut #kim donghyun #kim donghyun smut #donghyun smut #bnd #boynextdoor #bonedo #bnd smut #boynextdoor smut #bonedo smut #smut #kpop #kpop smut #Spotify

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